What Friends Who Need To Unburden Don’t Need To Hear

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out.</p><p id="49f4">It’s to your great credit that you let it be about them for just this moment.</p><figure id="8390"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*vv0K5vilBxCO-O_sPPVvkw.jpeg"><figcaption>Photo by <a href="https://www.pexels.com/@pavel-danilyuk?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Pavel Danilyuk</a> from <a href="https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-people-woman-coffee-8056991/?utm_content=attributionCopyText&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pexels">Pexels</a></figcaption></figure><blockquote id="f223"><p>“Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don’t want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.” -<a href="https://quotlr.com/author/kiera-cass">Kiera Cass</a></p></blockquote><p id="00ac">Now, I understand you could be unaware of the adverse effect relating your own problems can have at this point, or maybe hearing their tale of woes triggered your own repressed emotions. I can also understand your thinking that you’re helping them cope by demonstrating you have more serious problems and you’re coping.</p><p id="6303">However, cutting them off only adds to their feeling of hopelessness, loneliness, and confusion.</p><p id="33d7">Yes, you have problems and yes, they may be bigger but they probably don

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’t know that. Everyone at some point just needs a shoulder. Your time will come.</p><div id="06e0" class="link-block"> <a href="https://link.medium.com/yGWFwvKHYmb"> <div> <div> <h2>Change How You Listen To Her With One Simple Skill For Amazing Results</h2> <div><h3>A priceless skill I learned in mediation training and use in practice that I find extremely helpful off the clock…</h3></div> <div><p>link.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*MQ2ghB3cWYmHGCcR)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div><div id="ae92" class="link-block"> <a href="https://medium.com/@timdahi60/membership"> <div> <div> <h2>Join Medium with my referral link - Tim Dahi</h2> <div><h3>As a Medium member, a portion of your membership fee goes to writers you read, and you get full access to every story…</h3></div> <div><p>medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/0*GQiJ4evaqsVRq5yl)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Hint: it’s not, “Sorry, I can’t do nothing for you!”

As a rule, they’re any words telling them you’ve got bigger problems.

What’s that?

You really do have bigger problems?

Well, that may be but the present moment is about them. They turned to you, the stoic who seemingly got it together, who may have the answers, and presently, you may not feel the need to unburden, but they do.

They’re overwhelmed and just need a listening ear, soothing words, a little validation that their thoughts, feelings, emotions, and behaviors are valid and understandable. Or possibly advice to help them figure it out.

It’s to your great credit that you let it be about them for just this moment.

“Try patting them on the back or shoulder and telling them everything is going to be fine. Lots of times when girls cry, they don’t want you to fix the problem, they just want to be consoled.” -Kiera Cass

Now, I understand you could be unaware of the adverse effect relating your own problems can have at this point, or maybe hearing their tale of woes triggered your own repressed emotions. I can also understand your thinking that you’re helping them cope by demonstrating you have more serious problems and you’re coping.

However, cutting them off only adds to their feeling of hopelessness, loneliness, and confusion.

Yes, you have problems and yes, they may be bigger but they probably don’t know that. Everyone at some point just needs a shoulder. Your time will come.