Summary

The provided content discusses the concept of ego death, a phenomenon where one's sense of self dissolves, often experienced through psychedelic substances.

Abstract

The article titled "What Ego Death Feels Like" delves into the profound experience of ego death, which is characterized by the dissolution of one's sense of individuality and self. It explains that the ego is central to our identity, housing our core beliefs about who we are. The text describes how ego death can occur in various ways, including hitting rock bottom or through the use of psychedelic compounds such as magic mushrooms, LSD, and ketamine. These substances alter brain activity, particularly in the Default Mode Network (DMN), which is associated with self-referential thought, memory, and planning. The article suggests that an overactive DMN may contribute to conditions like anxiety and depression, as it keeps individuals ruminating on the past or future. Ego death, by contrast, offers a temporary suspension of these self-focused thoughts, allowing individuals to question their identity and the constructs of their self-image. The experience is depicted as intensely personal and transformative, with the potential to reshape one's understanding of the self.

Opinions

The author posits that the sense of self is a collection of personal ideas and memories that are inherently fluid and subject to change over time.
Psychedelic compounds are presented as tools that can induce ego death by minimizing activity in the DMN, leading to a detachment from past and future references that define the self.
The article conveys that ego death can be a positive experience, as it allows individuals to live in the moment and consider their identity without preconceived notions.
The author emphasizes the individuality of the ego death experience, noting that it is unique to each person and can vary each time it is experienced.
Despite the potential benefits discussed, the author includes a disclaimer stating that the piece does not encourage or condone the use of illicit substances.

PHILOSOPHY, MINDFULNESS AND PSYCHEDELICS

What Ego Death Feels Like

When your sense of ‘self’ dissolves

Image by Giovanni Maisto on Artstation.com

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Your ego houses your sense of self, your idea of who you are at your core, your sense of individuality. Ego-death is the dissolving of your sense of ‘Self’.

How Is Ego-Death Experienced?

It can come about in a few different ways; when a person hits rock bottom and is forced to reflect, for example, but most often and most easily ego-death can be experienced through psychedelic compounds, like magic mushrooms, LSD and even ketamine.

Classic hallucinogens like mushrooms, LSD and DMT activate a specific receptor in the brain which deals with consciousness and perception. Ketamine reduces the activity of a receptor which connects your brain to your body, resulting in a disconnect between your physical senses and your sense of self.

The ‘Self’

The notion of the Self has been debated for thousands of years, recorded way back from the times of Plato and Aristotle and continues to be debated to this day.

The reason the Self is so difficult to define is because of it’s highly intangible nature. Objectively giving definition to something intangible and having everyone agree on what it means is an almost impossible feat. It’s why the notions of God, the soul and love (to name just a few )are so hotly contested. The ideas of these things are highly subjective; they differ mind to mind because no one can put ‘god’ or ‘love’ in front of you and say ‘this is love and this is what it looks and feels like.’

The notion of the self falls under exactly the same ambit. No-one can objectively define what the Self is because everyone has their own idea of their own Self. No-one else can tell you who you are at your core, only you as an individual can define your self.

Modern science has shed some light on this notion, specifically in the discovery of the Default Mode Network (DMN). The DMN is a network of certain brain regions with some very important functions which, when connected, have functions which turn out to be very closely related to what it means to be human.

Specifically, the DMN is what allows you to ‘time travel’. It’s what allows you to think back to the past and forward into the future, to access memories, actively learn from experiences and to plan forward and set goals. It’s also what allows you to ruminate over things past andworry about the future.

Some who suffer with anxiety or depression have often been seen to have over-active DMN’s. Their brains work too hard and keep them stuck in the past or the future within their own heads, preventing them from focusing on or enjoying the current moment.

Our senses of self come largely from the ideas we hold about ourselves. Your memories and experiences give you an idea of who you are as an individual, as do your desires and goals for the future.

For example in your youth you might’ve decided you loved a certain subject, which led you to your profession which makes up a part of your sense of individuality. You might’ve shown extraordinary bravery or generosity in a couple of incidents in your life, the memories of which contribute to the qualities you feel form your character. These qualities equally allow you to think into the future, to what kind of situations you might want to find yourself in or how you would react in certain circumstances.

Consciousness is, amongst other things, self-awareness, and the function of our DMN’s separates us in a large way from most other animals. Our DMN’s allow us to individualise ourselves from other members of our species because we have the ability to compare and contrast.

The self is a collection of personal ideas one has about oneself and their own individuality, and it comes about in a huge way from how you perceive your past and think into the future. It’s also a fluid concept. It doesn’t stay still because time doesn’t stay still. The ideas you have about yourself are in flux, dependent upon your experiences, validations, expectations and interactions.

What Does Ego Death Feel Like?

Having your ego dissolve is essentially the stripping away of your own ideas of yourself.

It’s the stripping away of how you perceive your individual nature compared to others, but more importantly, compared to your former senses of self and how you would like your future self to be.

Many psychedelic compounds temporarily minimise activity in the DMN, of which psilocin (magic mushrooms) is a prime example. With your DMN temporarily disabled, your mind lacks the ability to access past and future references to ideas which comprise your sense of self. Without these notions you can be left questioning who you are and what you are.

A person becomes free to ask themselves; Who am I? What makes up ‘me’? Do I have to be anything? Do I have to conform to anything?

Ego-dissolution can sound scary. Surely forgetting who you are is terrifying? Well, because your DMN is far less active its quite common not to even think much into the past or the future. A person has more of a capacity to live in the moment, which alleviates some if not most of any fear that could present itself.

An Intensely Individual Experience

Personally, the last time I experienced ego-dissolution I felt like my sense of self had fallen to pieces, like a lego house collapsed into its separate bricks. The house, as it was before, was the structure of my self and it was already built — rigid and non-moveable. But with it being collapsed into its individual pieces, I could’ve built it into anything at all. Like a pile of lego bricks could become a house, a plane, a castle or any other structure you can imagine or would want to build. (Incidentally, this notion is also a reflection of thermodynamic entropy, but I won’t get into it here)

I saw the fluidity of my sense of self and realised ‘I’ am but an idea I hold of myself within my own mind. Ego-death is the dissolving of that idea.

Ego-Death is an intensely personal experience. Everyone has a different sense of self, which itself is constantly in flux, so everyone will have a different experience of ego-death, and it will be different everytime they experience it.

One thing seems to be common to the experience though; you realise your self is nothing but a collection of ideas you hold about yourself.

This piece and the author do not encourage or condone the use of illicit substances.

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