What Dreams Has The Pandemic Stolen From You?
And will you let the disappointment define your life?
I was supposed to graduate and receive my master's hood on May 1st in Phoenix, AZ. The next day we were planning to visit the Grand Canyon. A few weeks later, my husband and I had tickets to fly to Hawaii for our delayed honeymoon. To me, these disappointments are minor compared to the challenges faced by others.
My nephew had his wedding delayed several months, and his honeymoon delayed indefinitely. His wife experienced her first day as an elementary teacher with her students on a video screen instead of welcoming them into her newly decorated classroom.
Many high school seniors missed their prom, grad nite, and graduation ceremony. First-year college students are missing part of their college experience. Athletes worldwide were training to compete in the 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo and are now in limbo, unsure if the games will even happen.
The pandemic changed the way we marked the beginning and end of lives. Relatives waited to greet new babies at home instead of in the hospital, and loved ones slipped away alone. The grief process was unrecognizable, and closure was elusive. The list goes on and on.
Disappointment to a noble soul is what cold water is to burning metal; it strengthens, tempers, intensifies, but never destroys it.”
— Eliza Tabor
Loss
One of the biggest disappointments I have experienced was not growing old with my first husband, Patrick. His death was sudden and tragic. My daughters never expected to walk through life without their father. He wouldn’t be there to see them graduate, get married, or have children of their own.
To say we are disappointed is an understatement. Patrick’s loss will always be a big part of our lives. But we took that disappointment and moved forward intending to make him proud. By mid-2021, all three of us will have graduated from college. Camille, with her undergraduate degree, me with a master’s, and Sierra with both her undergraduate degree (earned in 3 years) and her law degree! Our future isn’t proceeding as we planned, but we are making it our best life.
Disaster
Disasters frequently shatter dreams and change the course of people’s lives. In “Bottom-up Responses to Crisis,” the story of Hurricane Katrina's after-effects is one of the crises mentioned. Kids Rethink New Orleans Schools is a group that was formed after the hurricane to ensure “young people’s voices would be heard as decisions were made regarding the New Orleans public school system.” Rather than being overwhelmed by disappointment, this allowed youth to get involved and help make decisions about their future. The youth involved learned valuable lessons that they took with them to college and beyond.
Tragedy
In 2018, most of Paradise, CA, was wiped out by the Camp Fire, the most devastating fire in California history. The fire resulted in 85 deaths and damaged or destroyed nearly 20,000 structures. For the seniors set to graduate in June 2019, the fire destroyed their senior year. Many of them lost their homes and family members. The high school was damaged but not destroyed. Student’s finished the school year at different area high schools or online.
The school district began making an alternate graduation site, but the seniors were determined to graduate on their campus. The community pulled together to prepare the football field, and they were able to graduate. A documentary was released in 2020 and detailed the incredible stories of survival and rebuilding. In a local news story, student Timmy Haines discussed the lessons he learned,
“It teaches you that you have to work for what you want in life,” Haines said, “and if you lose everything you have to work for it again.”
Resilience
The individuals in all of these stories had the choice to wallow in despair or move forward with resilience. They all chose to keep moving forward. The lessons they have learned will guide them through the rest of their lives. And if they face disappointment again, they will be prepared for that too.
