What Does the Combination of ADHD and Boredom Look Like?
Spoiler alert: It’s torture.
Managing the symptoms of ADHD is like trying to set a Nürburgring lap record without crashing.
Driving a high-performance car to the limit requires the delicate balance of precision, tenacity, feel, patience, and consistency.
ADHDers constantly work to manage their symptoms by balancing passion, focus, predictability, creativity, and interest.
Like driving a race car, keeping everything in harmony is more art than science.
Which is why if you’re the spouse, parent, teacher, boss, or any other influence in the life of someone with ADHD, if you want to throw this balance into disarray and watch them crash and burn you only have to do one thing:
Bore the hell out of ‘em.
Practice boredom responsibly
Before I sound the alarm on the dysfunctional relationship between ADHD and boredom, I must acknowledge that some good can come from mind-numbing moments.
Periods of boredom, when done right, can benefit us by promoting:
- Positive mental health habits
- Creativity
- Adventure-seeking
- The pursuit of goals
- Self-control skills
Even so, like anything that has a fine line between safe and excess, boredom is best consumed responsibly.
The ADHD — boredom complex
To understand why boredom can wreak havoc on the life of someone with ADHD, it’s best to be reminded of the root causes of the condition.
ADHD is, in part, caused by a combination of altered blood flow to certain parts of the brain, and a dysregulation of the dopamine system. Dopamine, a neurotransmitter, affects behavior hallmarks such as:
- Learning
- Motivation
- Attention
- Pleasure
- Mood
Sound familiar?
Low levels of dopamine result in certain parts of the brain having reduced activity when compared to the neurotypical brain. This results in persons with ADHD requiring excess stimulation to compensate.
To compensate, those with ADHD will often act out or engage in risky behaviors in an attempt to boost the chemical balance in their brains.
This is where the ADHD-boredom complex resides. When someone with ADHD is bored to pieces, their dopamine dysregulated brains crave a boost, bringing about many of the unsavory symptoms of the condition.
Crash and burn
It’s no secret that those with ADHD thrive when they can engage in something about which they are passionate, interested in, or find exhilarating. All three of these help to balance out their brain’s neurotransmitter needs.
This means that when those areas aren’t being fulfilled — when the ADHD brain is essentially bored out of its mind — things can go south in a hurry.
Take for example the math adverse ADHD child “trapped” in an hour-long math class. They act out, distract the room, draw attention to themselves, and struggle to achieve satisfactory grades.
Or the ADHD adult who works a dead-end job. They disengage, plod through their day, miss deadlines, underperform compared to their colleagues, and come across as a lazy, unfit employee.
In other words, those with ADHD who engage in boring, disinteresting, under-stimulating tasks often crash and burn in spectacular fashion.
It’s a cycle that can be difficult to break, especially when the influencers in their lives don’t fully understand their unique needs and desires.
Signs of a bored ADHD brain
If someone in your life has, or is suspected to have, ADHD you can play an active role in meeting their neurotransmitter needs. This starts by recognizing the signs of boredom.
Inattentiveness and hyperactivity are presenting characteristics of ADHD, and they show through differently in boredom. Here’s what you can look out for to identify when someone with ADHD is struggling with boredom.
Inattentiveness
Those with inattentiveness tendencies will appear apathetic and lethargic when bored. They may be characterized as “lazy” or disinterested, not seeming to care about the activity they’re asked to engage in.
Inattentive types often seek internal stimulation, and when bored they struggle to think of things to do and to take action. They attempt to stimulate themselves internally, frequently daydreaming and appearing unfocused.
Hyperactive
Hyperactive types express boredom more outwardly. They act impulsively, start petty drama or arguments, seek stimulation, and turn towards risky behaviors to stimulate their minds.
This type may also appear outwardly agitated or frustrated more easily, having a difficult time regulating their emotions, and responding excessively to slight discomforts.
Regardless of the characteristics, both types can feel physically uncomfortable when bored, which prompts them to seek stimulation through means that best suit their internal or external traits.
How you can help
Knowing what the presenting signs of boredom look like can prompt the neurotypical brains to reach across the aisle to help the ADHD brains.
From my experience as an adult with ADHD, it can be supremely frustrating when I struggle to understand myself. This is only enflamed when those around me fail to understand that I’m struggling to understand.
Because of this internal struggle, one of the best things a neurotypical person can do is to offer a safe, non-judgmental place and an open ear.
What might this look like?
Say your spouse has ADHD. When they are abnormally agitated and impulsive, approach them with empathy and work to understand if the root cause is boredom.
Being on the same page can build trust by empathizing with their struggles, and fostering growth as a couple as you work together to help them find their passions and interests.
Alternatively, perhaps you manage someone whom you suspect has ADHD. If they appear disengaged with their work, instead of harping on KPIs and threatening PIPs, offer a safe place to talk through their career satisfaction.
Take time to learn about who they are as a person. This can include their personal and professional passions, interests, strengths, and weaknesses.
You may learn that they’re bored with their work because it doesn’t align well with their mental needs, but a different role within the company could be a better fit. You may just turn an “underachiever” into a company superstar.
Either way, the ADHD brains of this world struggle enough on their own to manage the effects of boredom. Jump in the pit with them and find a way to climb out together.
Bringing it all together
As an often bored ADHD brain, I can’t stress enough the torturous feelings that boredom can create.
In fact, as a kid, I once opted to appear busy by pulling weeds to avoid engaging in a boring conversation with my next-door neighbor. Unbeknownst to me, those weeds were my mother’s sunflowers…
True story.
Boredom can make us do some crazy things, including going out of our way to make fools of ourselves, or happily staring off into space as we fail to absorb a shred of information from a lecture.
If you have a particular disdain for someone with ADHD, find out what bores them to pieces and make that their reality.
However, if you have a shred of goodness in you, take the time to empathize with the ADHD brains in your life. Jump into the pit of boredom with them and work together to find a way out.
Given how intensely passionate, naturally creative, and inherently interested those with ADHD often are, actively helping them find relief from boredom could turn into an exciting endeavor for you as well.
Who knows? With your help they might just change the world. At a minimum they’ll likely change yours, and the journey will be anything but boring.
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