What does respect mean to you?
I once had a manager, who I swear, was the embodiment of every bad manager I’ve ever had in my life. And I’m lucky – I haven’t had a lot of bad managers. Way more good and inspiring managers, to be honest.
But this one…sheesh.
First impression in the interview? Curt. Didn’t say goodbye just ended the call.
Second impression once I got the job (as if that was recompense in itself for her horrid attitude) – pretended not to understand what I was saying. As if I had a thick, foreign accent.
My mother tongue is English and I was born in the UK. If there’s any remnant of any kind of accent I have – it’s British.
It’s highly likely I speak better English than she ever will but I digress.
Third impression once I was doing the job. Loudly and publicly gave all my assigned work to my colleague to take over. I’d been there one week. My colleague had been hired the same day as me. The work was work I was qualified to do. My colleague did not have a designation or qualification for the work. She would have to learn how to do it on the fly.
Fourth impression:
Was all mine.
I terminated the contract.
Here’s what respect means to me.
Treat people the way your mother taught you to treat people. If you had a nice mum, then that means with respect and kindness and goodwill. If you had a terrible or absent mum, take the best role model in your life and treat people the way that person taught you to treat them.
Am I much happier without a miserable unhappy, likes-to-use-unconscious-bias-to play-out-something-far-more-insidious manager?
Yaaaaaaaaaaas.
Will that company I terminated the contract with, think through her role in why a highly-sought-after consultant, left so soon after working with her? Was it the first time this happened? Or just the latest example of a long line of continued behaviour? Do they care if they’re losing profit on the thousands of dollars wasted, on hiring resources who leave, based on their middle managers? The truth is – I have no interest or desire to find out.
That was the end of a very long, drawn-out chapter in my career.
Meeting her. And ending that particular journey.
I don’t know where she is now. And I don’t care.
But I do know where I am. And I do care.
Heading down the path I am forging for myself.
So what does respect mean to you? What does it look like? Sound like? Feel like? How do you experience it?
And how do you go out into the world, ensuring you go to the places and people, where that’s exactly how you will be treated?
Happy respecting yourself.
