What do you say to a naked lady?

Take a drawing class and see life

Over the many years I taught life drawing, the biggest problem was finding people willing to take their clothes off for money.

It’s not a tough gig — $25 an hour to disrobe and stand (or sit, or recline) on a platform for a few hours while a group of artists (often amateur) learn to draw the human figure.

We often had models who posed for classes for years, but occasionally we needed to hire some newbies.

Someone at the art museum where I taught adult education classes decided to advertise for nude models in the Penny Saver, our local throw-away advertising paper, which produced some interesting candidates.

Let me preface this by saying there’s a certain etiquette to the process of nude modeling.

The model arrives, disrobes behind a screen or in a nearby empty room, then dons a robe and slippers. They climb on the pedestal (a plywood box four feet square or so) remove the robe and assume whatever poses the teacher suggests. They put the robe back on when they take breaks.

One woman who responded to the ad (and to whom this had been explained) came in, took her clothes off in the middle of the room and climbed up on the platform. “It’s nothing they’re not going to see anyway,” she said cheerfully.

On break she didn’t put her robe on, just walked around the room looking at people’s drawings over their shoulders.

I had a word with her afterward, but in the moment I wasn’t sure how to explain that it was perfectly normal for a naked lady to pose for the class, but it was really weird to have her walk around the room with no clothes on. Especially leaning over someone’s shoulder checking out their drawing.

For the most part we had female models, but sometimes men were hired. I tried not to schedule a guy the first night of class so as not to alarm students unnecessarily, but one night we didn’t have other options.

One older lady was nervous but game. “It’s O.K.,” she said with some trepidation. “I’ll just start at the back and work my way around to the front.”

Models sometimes bring props, like “Snake Man,” who liked to pose with his pet boa constrictor.

“Jack the Mailman” brought his big mail satchel and posed with it over his shoulder. He’s the one who asked me on break if I wanted to go out on a date with him after class.

“I’m married,” I said.

“So?” he said.

Now THAT’S a guy with some chutzpah.

I said no.