What Do I Do With All This Advice?

An outcome of confusions

Ever since I joined Medium, I’ve been seeing stories on how to achieve goals or ways to succeed at work, even how to be a better writer. They’re tempting, I won’t lie. The moment I read the title — I would know very well, that it is put that way to get me to read it, and yet, I go ahead.

I open it, and I see a beautiful listicle. Those accurate pointers with perfect examples, the best of grammar, and not to forget — some of the best thought-provoking quotes. I go through them, one by one, very carefully. I make sure I don’t miss a single point on how to excel in my exams or how to schedule my day perfectly.

I finish reading, feeling quite content that I finally know all the tried-and-tested hacks. I don’t have to figure it out anymore. After all, the writer mentions these based on experience.

I know now — how to sleep better, I know now — how to have the perfect skin and the perfect hair, I know how to write error-free content and even how to get curated!

The sense of knowing gives me happiness, happiness because I start feeling hopeful towards these things and why would I not? I have the hacks now!

But how long do you think the happiness lasts? How long does the hope last?

Perhaps it’s the shortest route and even the quickest, but sadly, not the most effective.

Okay! This one’s done? On to reading the next one, then another and so on. I consume and consume and consume, that’s all. How much of this advice do I implement into my miserable life?

Hardly any.

And why?

Jumping back to the line where I said that the writers give out these pieces of advice based on their experiences and hence the knowledge that they gain from these experiences.

And what is the best way to learn and grow except through experience?

The reason something proved to be successful for the writer himself is that anything emanating from experience stays with you throughout. Hence, just reading it won’t do, even if it’s the best advice in the world.

So what is to be done now, you ask?

Well for starters, remember that you don’t necessarily have to follow all the advice mentioned in a story. You’re free to pick just one if your comfort lies in that one. After that, note it down — when you write something down, you’d know that it’s important to you. And third, of course, is to experience it.

You’re not going to have your best first interview or a successful relationship, just by reading a listicle. Go ahead and experience it, fail an interview, fail a relationship — that’s how you’ll know,

with experience and without advise

In case you’re wondering — yes, I can see the irony in this story — questioning advises and yet, providing advice! I know that we all lack experience and that no amount of experience is ever going to be enough to be able to do whatever we desire, but it’s something.

Better have a tale to tell than to live by advice.

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