What Chekhov, Avocados and Time Taught Me About Embracing Change

Reading Chekhov and growing avocados informs my transformation and they can help yours, too

My divorce forced me to change everything. I realized I could no longer afford my house, my car, my lifestyle. I had to make major, often brutal life decisions in order to support myself. In a few short years, I met almost every one of life’s major stressors.

I learned a lot in the process, much of which comes in handy today, as we all face a transformation brought on by this pandemic.

See the truth and embrace it.

After more than 20 years in Connecticut, I was being divorced in Texas. The big difference? No alimony. After raising four children as a homemaker/adjunct professor, I had limited skills to maintain my house, car, lifestyle. Heck, I did not have the funds to pay a lawyer.

I did recall reading “The Cherry Orchard” by Anton Chekov. This drama centers on a family that owns a sizable estate (in the midst of a cherry orchard, hence the name) but have come into financial hardship and are facing the auctioning off of their property.

I had anxiety reading it. Why didn’t these people accept the idea of selling off parcels of their land to create small cottages? They seemed to just wait and cling to their lavish lifestyles, further driving their financial situation into despair. The lesson stuck with me.

Change is the only constant. ~ Heraclitus

I took stock of where I stood. On shaking ground.

I determined to do as much as I could to help myself. I realized there is no growth without change, and I could choose how to grow. I had to embrace the fact that change was inevitable.

I was open to possibility. I had to be willing to change.

My house, although 5,000 square feet of living space, needed work. I invited 3 realtors to tour it and give me feedback. What should I address? How could I maximize my return? I knew my resources were limited. I was not able to re-do the entire kitchen, but what could I do?

Paint, they all said. Some spaces were unpainted drywall.

De-clutter. All four my children and my former spouse had left rooms full of their possessions.

Get rid of the colored outlets. (The previous owner had painted some shut.)

They were full of ideas. I had to pick and choose based on my resources.

I developed resources

I started hanging out at Home Depot and asking questions. First, I cornered the woman behind the paint counter when no one else was present.

“I’ve never painted a room. Do you think I can?”

“Of course you can! It’s not hard!” She was a wealth of knowledge as well as an inspiration. Matte versus gloss, primer or not, which brand to use, she educated me starting with the basics.

Every day I got arrived at Home Depot when it opened and asked more questions. Contractors come early I discovered and it is easy to identify a painter by their clothes, splotches on every inch.

“You look like you’ve done this before,” became my standard opening, “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

No one turned me down. Not one person.

I watched dozens of YouTube videos to learn how to replace a toilet and while replacing the outlet covers, I got zapped. That led me to find a retired electrician, who helped with some of my projects.

I just kept taking the next right step forward, never knowing where exactly it would lead

I texted a video of the replaced toilet flushing to a bunch of friends. One in Minnesota determined that I liked working with my hands. Had I ever considered Non-Destructive Testing?

No, I had never heard of such a thing, but I did find working with my hands empowering. She was right, so I checked out the program on-line, which piqued my curiosity. I flew out, took a tour, met the professors and applied.

The program had a solid employment track record, something I sorely needed. Even though I was wait-listed, I had a deadline and a goal. I needed to sell the house to get to Minnesota and start.

This gave me new incentive to finish the house.

Was this process difficult? Absolutely.

Difficult and time-consuming, but I wanted to live a life. Change was my best option. I refused to be like Chekhov’s characters in “The Cherry Orchard.”

Waking up every day to work on preparing my house to sell took up most of my waking hours. Selling my worldly goods took time as well. I posted items on a variety of apps, and there seemed to be a number of questions that required interactions.

All of this, while trying to navigate a divorce and launching my grown children.

It was difficult. Painfully so.

Persistence

There were many days that I considered not getting out of bed. It seemed too hard.

There was something in me that refused to be Ranevsky, the owner of the cherry orchard that pursues her financially irresponsible ways in the face of impending change. No, I get to define who I am and I am not that woman, I decided.

We always have options — give up or persist. I did not see one as viable.

I needed to embrace change. I needed to keep taking the next best step forward.

So, I chose to persist.

You, too can make this choice. Ravensky in “The Cherry Orchard” chose to run from her difficulties, rather than face them. She simply allowed the auction to occur.

You always have options. You get to decide who you are going to be in the face of impending change. Choose to transform into your Best Self. Imagine what that looks like.

Use my experience and “The Cherry Orchard” to inform your own. Do you want to remain stuck, while the auction and financial ruin loom over your life? Or do you want to write a better ending to your story?

Embrace the truth. Be open to possibility. Develop your resources. And keep taking the next best step forward, even if you are uncertain of where that might lead.

Change is the only constant. Embrace it to motivate your growth.

Cat Stravino, mother of four now tests engines using Non-Destructive Testing, practices yoga and advocates for positive change. You can follow her personal blog at catstrav.com.