What can you do if negative self-talk sabotages changing your habits? A short guide.
We encounter numerous obstacles in the formation of new, better habits. One of them is negative self-talk. Let’s take a closer look at what this is all about and how we can solve the problem.
We have all experienced a very particular obstacle at least once when we tried to change something in our lives for the better.
This obstacle is the inner dialogue that goes on inside our heads every time we try to change something in our lives.
The more we allow our brains to interact with the external world around us, the more our minds start to “talk back.”
So if we try to change a habit, we are interacting with the world, and then our brains begin to react to this interaction. Our minds start to say, “Hey! You’re making too much effort to change this little thing in your life! It’ll never change! It’s not worth the effort! You’re wasting your time!”
The more you allow your mind to speak back, the more resistance you create for yourself. And the more resistance you create, the more difficult it is to break through.
So what can we do about this negative self-talk that prevents us from changing our habits?
- Be in the moment. This may seem counterintuitive, but the more you think about your habit, the less likely it is to change. If you try to change a pattern and you overthink it, your mind will try to lead you in a different direction. You prevent this by taking one step at a time. Don’t think “I have to do these ten push-ups for the rest of my life,” but, “I’m doing ten push-ups now. With that, you do not give your mind any reason to panic. The next day you do it the same way. And the day after that and on all other days, too.
- Change your thoughts willfully. If you want to change something about yourself, the first step is to change your thoughts. You can influence your inner monologue. As soon as you notice negative Selftalk, change your internal monologue willfully. Instead of thinking, “I hate this exercise.” “I’m lazy,” “I want to be more energetic,” “I feel fat” or anything like that, replace those with thoughts like, “It’s something I should do to be healthier. What else can you do to change negative self-talk to positive self-talk?
- Write down answers to your negative thoughts. Ask yourself: “How can I replace this negative self-talk?” or, “What will I say in response to this negative self-talk?” Take one minute to write down a positive thought or a mantra, and then repeat the thought.
- Another exercise that can help is a “positive self-critique.” The idea behind a positive self-critique is that you do it every single day, but it’s not really a criticism. It’s an expression of appreciation for what you’ve done well on that day. If you get used to praising yourself for your performance every day, your brain will find it harder and harder to criticize your intentions. So by generally adopting a positive inner monologue, you reduce the likelihood of negative self-talk getting in your way as you try to establish new habits.
- When you have made the “positive self-critique” for the current day, go one step further and write down all the things you have already accomplished in your life. Again: If you regularly remember your successes, it will be easier for you to believe in future achievements. This, in turn, makes you less inclined to negative self-talk.
I hope these tips help you to stop negative self-talk and start the process of creating a positive self-image. Remember to take things one day at a time and focus on what is going well instead of dwelling on what you can’t do.
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