What Can We Do to Heal After Hate and Blame

A critical response to Jessica Wildfire’s article about these bad, power people

I just read this popular article on Medium:

She told us dark stories about people our society has idolised — including Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey and Tony Robbins. Her argument is that their power, success and marketing manipulation have allowed their horrible personalities and behaviour to be ignored.

Let me go one step further to stop this hate and remind everyone that we are the ignorant ones.

Who is using an iPhone now and who’s claiming to support local businesses whilst shopping on Amazon? We are. Who’s talking about healing and spirituality whilst hoping we are so rich that our bathtubs are carved based on the shape of our bodies (like Oprah does)? We do.

What these people have found, in areas of goods, services and journalism, is the weak point of our contradictions. Yes, they might have manipulated many consumers, but don’t forget, we are the ones willing to be exploited.

So, Jessica WildFire’s amazing article brings us to consciousness about their dirt, and this article aims to clean up ours.

Do not start at the point of blame

As I have discussed in this recent article, self-knowledge is the first step, but rising above our trauma and heal should always be our ultimate step.

Our survival instinct has driven us to blame others when bad things happen. That makes a lot of sense, say during the tribal days if we manage to pass the blame to another person, the head of the clan will kill them rather than us. Blaming others is smart self-defence that indirectly attacks others.

“When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back to you.”

We might be pointing fingers at these ruthlessly rich and successful people. But when we point at them, there are three fingers pointed back at us.

When my mum pointed her finger at me for being ‘overly sensitive’, three fingers pointed back at her for my eventual distance, her childhood trauma, and her guilt-triggered insomnia.

When I pointed a finger at my mum for gaslighting me, the three fingers pointed back at me were despair, regret and exhaustion.

The hurt is endless when we blaming each other.

Start at the point of awareness

Blaming and suffering is an endless loop. Like a hamster wheel, we don’t even know why we are on it. So let’s focus on breaking that loop, rather than fueling it.

We need to acknowledge the flaws in these people Jessica Wildfire mentioned, then let’s move on. We don’t need to create more hate, just clarity.

My starting point is always to recognise. Recognition and awareness mean having deep knowledge of a given situation. The moment we become aware, we become separated from the situation. The moment we are separated from the situation, we master our reactions.

This is the only reason we need to be aware of the flaws of these powerful people, the cultures and societies. It’s enough to know it’s toxic, we don’t need to get too angry about it. That’s fueling the hamster wheel.

Then move on to the point of transcendence

The one thing I don’t agree with in Jessica Wildfire’s article is her comment about Oprah. I think Oprah is a big influencer and clever with gimmick and money, but I don’t think she’s merely woo-woo.

My favourite series of hers is the one she interviewed Eckhart Tolle. She has done it again and again over the years because she seems to really get what he’s saying.

As a person who also really gets what Eckhart Tolle’s saying, I think Oprah understands, and that’s why she can do what she does without being fearful. We can be tactful business person whilst knowing how to transcend and manifest.

And this is why I think Jessica wrote an incredible article but stopped at the point of blame and anger. She hasn’t considered the points Oprah has made (alongside Eckhart) over these years, maybe because she can’t stand Oprah’s personality, which is fair enough.

The big point is to dig deeper and transcend further.

How to transcend

We let people like Jeff Bezos and Elon Musk do what they want because we envy their success. We also believe what they tell us because they have got it right, just like, Jessica’s article has over 14k likes as at this article is written and I’m a nobody, so of course, Jessica would seem more credible (sorry I keep bringing back to her, no offence, just examples).

We have a choice. If we don’t want to use an iPhone (or an Android for even worse reasons), we can try this phone built and crowd-funded by ordinary people for example. If we don’t believe Amazon is ethical, we can get our ass out to local shops or buy from ethical brands. If we don’t want Elon Musk to be so powerful, we can consider other electric cars brand like this one.

To transcend is simply to be conscious enough to choose what’s right for yourself and the world, each time. I personally have no beef against Steve Jobs. He was obsessed with Apple and was negligent of his family, which was bad. But the issue really was that he has made the wrong decision to create a family that he couldn’t afford to be there for. He made some wrong choices at the wrong time.

How perfect do we need a person to be?

What Wildfire's incredible article really does, is help us to realise people are fundamentally flawed. It’s up to us to stop being ignorant, romanticising successful, powerful and rich people, and making the right choices for ourselves.

It’s more about the choices we made than the choices they make.

The more time we spend on blaming, the later we will be healed, transcended and become wiser. Honestly, I really don’t understand why people aren’t focusing on doing these, considering how much time we spend on self-help books.

Thanks to informative articles, we are less ignorant. From there, we don’t need to keep craving more information and knowledge about these people (that only makes us informed and intelligent, not wise). We have gained the self-knowledge to heal and transcend, so let’s do those things.

This means we make the decision on how to react, on what to do, and perhaps what to buy/buy into. We develop spiritual and emotional independence, and we become happy.

No blame. These people don’t matter that much, they are just flawed human with too much power.