What being Fat-Shamed Taught Me.

Reflection changes everything.

The way you interpret a situation defines whether or not that situation was a success. Being fat-shamed in the sixth grade pushed me to do uncomfortable actions like losing weight and going to the gym with boys who were older than me.

You need to Hate Yourself to Love Yourself.

There was a point where I was fed up. It was swim class, and I remember going into the dressing once everyone had left, I changed and ran to the pool. It’s funny seeing a fat kid run, and so my friends laughed out loud.

That swim class was the longest class ever, and they were staring daggers at me.

I went to the changing rooms.

Standing alone, in the empty, damp changing rooms, I looked at myself. I wasn’t that fat, little bit of flab here and there but not much. Wait, a minute, that’s a lot of flab, this isn’t right.

Fuck it. I had enough.

I was this fat piece of shit, and I was going to lose weight.

Do you think self-love would have helped me? Hell no. The problem with self-love is that it is the easiest way to escape your problems. Who wants to work 17-hour workdays? My life is good, blah, blah, blah.

The day you got married isn’t the best day of your life. The greatest moments are the ones where you accept that you’re lonely, you need to get out more, and after a few months, you find someone you can live with, and then you get married.

Great changes are born out of hatred. We hate racism, and that innocent people are killed because of the color of their skin. That’s where the Black Lives Moment was created.

Change Takes Work.

The first time I went running, I was out of breath in 5 minutes. This wasn’t what the movies showed me. Tom Cruise didn’t have this problem, and he looks great when he runs, and what’s wrong with me?

Tom Cruise has been running on the big screen for three decades, from Endless Love to Mission Impossible six, this man has perfected his running form. A tight core, with quick feet and his arms pumping.

It takes hard work to run like Tom Cruise.

As it should.

Anything worthwhile takes work, a lot of work. Everyone can work, what we choose to strive for determines our success.

I didn’t lose weight because I wanted to be like Tom Cruise. All I wanted a fitter lifestyle. What lifestyle do you want? Are you willing to work for it?

We all talk about our dream jobs, but what’s the point of working a corporate job if you want to retire at 30 and live in a Mexican fishing village?

That’s where meaning lies. If you’re happy to work hard enough to save money to retire in Mexico with $10 million, then every day that you work will feel like a holiday.

The reason why people don’t change is that the life their living is comfortable and easy. We get used to living in a certain way, and after a while, we don’t want to change.

That leads me to my next point….

Embrace Discomfort.

If discomfort was a person, I’d hug her. The mother of all success is discomfort, and the father is boredom. Discomfort means well, but she can be misunderstood.

For example, waking up at 4.00 am is hard, not taking a nap during the day is harder but going to bed satisfied is the best feeling ever. Doing difficult activities makes it easy to enjoy life.

What makes you uncomfortable? Not having the luxury of napping is my definition of discomfort, and I like napping, but ever since I have stopped, I have more time to do what I want.

Do the thing that scares you, and have the power over your fear. Remember the first time you walked into a party? Your hearts beating, some people are staring at you, but you’re not trying to be awkward, because you’re supposed to be cool.

At the end of the night, what did it feel like? If it felt bad, keep partying, and if it felt good, keep partying. Life is one big party, and if you’re not willing to embrace the rejections and the awkward stares that some people will give you, then you can stand outside in the cold sorrow of being a loser.

Going to the gym as an overweight kid was tough. Everyone looked like a bodybuilder or a model, everyone, except me. I felt stupid as I struggled to do a push-up, and the guy in front of me was bicep curling a 20kg barbell, another one was deadlifting 120kgs. I felt like quitting.

Thank God I didn’t.

Don’t Quit.

Losing weight is hard, people made fun of me. Fuck, I used to dread going to school, if I had quit, I’d hate going to college, damn, but I love it. Going to college feels great, and do you know why?

I kept pushing when school didn’t feel great, and when you refrain from quitting, you take temporary pain for permanent pleasure. When you quit, you do the opposite.

Eating a tub of ice cream may feel great now, and tomorrow, what about in 6 months? Will it feel so great?

No.

Don’t waste your life running after highs, and you’ll bounce from one “happy” moment to another, without knowing what you’re doing, and then you’ll be old and grey, trying to figure out what you did with your life, or worse, you might live with regret.

You can take failure, rejection, and pain. No human can live a happy life with regret. It would suck to not try and live your life.