What are You Sacrificing for Lent? I Have a Good Idea From an Old Friend

Here’s a hint. It’s harder to do than my first idea to give up screen time for two hours a day

I am not Christian but I was raised one.

The rituals of religion are ingrained in me even though I no longer practice the faith as an adult. I remember prayers, the smell of the incense — and the holidays.

I am fascinated with how others integrate faith into their lives and the ways in which religion is integrated into contemporary culture.

Lent, the 40 days leading up to Easter, is a holiday of particular interest to me. Now as an outsider looking in, it seems like a self-sacrificing version of New Year’s Resolutions or a delayed start to being a better version of oneself in the new year.

Perhaps folks didn’t do well with Dry January so they decide to give it another go in March.

Maybe people are hitting the water intake hard but still snacking on sweets before bedtime and they decide March is the time to get serious.

The snow and gray days most certainly kept all of the Northeast from leaving their homes for the gym, but Daylight Savings arrived and longer days bring us all out of our slumber and back to movement.

From Country Living to Parade Magazine, anyone who wishes to give something up in respect and reverence can find plenty of ideas on the internet. One site for teens suggests using real words in place of emojis.

I think I can get on board with that movement. The site also suggests giving up plumber’s crack. I confess I would never have thought of that as an option.

While I am not giving something up to become closer to my faith, like New Year’s resolutions, I like the concept of breaking bad habits and I am a fan of James Clear and his work.

In the spirit of Lent, I have been trying to decide on one action to refrain from doing.

After some minor contemplation (hmm…chocolate, coffee, ice cream, sex?) and honest acceptance that I could not omit any of these, I got my family on board with screen-free time from 5–7 pm. It’s day 3 and everyone is feeling grumpy and not holy.

I’m not sure if they intended to do this as their Lenten promise, but several years ago in March, a friend from our past sent an apology card to my husband, which he received in the mail. Reminding me of My Name is Earle, they reached out to him after years had passed and apologized for mean remarks they once made about him behind his back.

I did not know about this, however, at the time, he had found out and asked them about it.

The friend denied making the remarks. Six years later, after a frank conversation with someone in their present life, they decided to come clean and apologize. I wonder how many people were on their list?

I wonder how many people are on my list? I may have to go back to third grade and start with an apology to a girl named Dori. She injured her tail bone jumping off of a swing and I teased her about sitting on a donut during her recovery.

From that point forward, I participated in my share of catty girl circles and spent more time than I’d like to remember being mean to others to make up for my own insecurities.

I think most of those I’ve stabbed have forgiven me or have stabbed me back.

Yet, there are those out there who have not tolerated my behavior and dropped out of my life. I often wonder how I could get them back as a friend.

With some people, I know the door is closed.

I accepted that I had to live with my mistakes and understand that we can’t always undo what we’ve done.

With others, I have hope that the time will be right for me to apologize and perhaps for them to accept it.

Did my husband forgive our friend from the past? “Melissa…yes, of course,” he told me, clearly annoyed at my silly question.

I’m sure it was very hard for them to write that note but it only took him a minute to accept the apology.

I applaud our friend for their heartfelt, simple gesture.

Maybe I’ll follow their lead and ask for forgiveness this Lent. I guess I can’t do it online after work though. I wonder if Costco sells bulk amounts of note cards?

Copyright Melissa Marietta

Have you read my short post that went wild? Here it is:

This essay’s inspo is from something I wrote way back in the day. It’s here: