What are You Not Doing Because You Doubt Yourself?

What could you be doing instead of flip-flopping over a decision you have yet to make?

You may not realize there’s a downside or a missed opportunity while you delay making a decision. Maybe you think you’re just taking your time to cover all your options.

There are a lot of possibilities, known and unknown. It’s not possible to cover every single base at once. You might be able to minimize the most worrisome one’s, but all, sorry, not going to happen.

While you’re stuck in your overwhelming loop of endless outcomes, you rob yourself of the ability do something else. Your time is absorbed in overthinking in place of checking an item off your to-do list or maybe even your bucket list.

What is self doubt?

It’s a lack of confidence in your abilities and yourself. Check the dictionary.

You have no faith in yourself. That’s pretty harsh. You, of all people on the planet, need to have faith in you.

You are ultimately responsible for the outcome of your life, the actions you take and the thoughts you have. Without faith in yourself, days can be a little tough.

According to Rachel Eddins in the article, 7 Ways to Navigate Self Doubt, “self-doubt serves as protection by holding us back or asking for reassurance.”

Self doubt causes you to hold yourself back or seek reassurance of your decisions from others.

Do you want to had over your outcomes to someone else ?How well does a friend, or even a family member, know you in order to decide if it’s the right decision for you?

Yes, parents and siblings often know a lot about you. Do you want them to make decisions for you as an adult?

Self doubt robs your confidence, stifles your creativity, and limits your opportunities for growth. It prevents you from reaching your true potential.

Your life becomes a cycle of second guessing

I need to make a decision — I’ll probably make the wrong decision —I need to look at all the facts and information available so I don’t make the wrong decision — I need to make a decision — but what if something I haven’t thought about yet happens…..

How long do you spend in this loop? Days? Weeks? Months?

You finally make a decision and the cycle morphs into — it’s probably the wrong decision…..

If you’re a self doubter you may not even realize how much time you spend in self doubt, second guessing. It’s so familiar to you, it’s just who you are, it’s “normal” to spend hours on a simple decision.

Time spent doubting is time spent not doing

It’s necessary to consider the best options and outcomes before making a decision. To make a decision without any consideration of the outcomes is not a smart way to make decisions.

It’s the overthinking, hours or days wasted pondering a decision which lead to an unproductive use of time.

“Will I get the return I need if I go with product A vs product B?” “Will my client see the value in the presentation if I include material X vs information Z?” “Will my kids be cranky in the morning if they stay up late to go to the state fair? Is it worth their enjoyment at the fair?”

Overthinking, doubting, procrastination, and worry about a decision leads to stalling and a lot of lost time while you waffle about your choices.

How else could that time be used? Cleaning (well, not on my list), finalizing a project, meeting with friends, reading, client calls, what else? All a much better use of your time.

The real question is, do you want to use your time to doubt yourself or to make the decision and get on with your job, life, and new opportunities.

Worry and doubt after a decision also leads to lost opportunity

Are you ok making a decision, but spend time after in agony over the decision?

“Did I buy the right color? What if I spent to much? What will my partner think? What if it doesn’t work? Maybe I shouldn’t have gone. Did I say something wrong?”

Will you always make the right decision in every situation. No. It’s impossible to always do everything right. No one who’s attempted it has 100% succeeded. There might be someone who came close, but I’m sure they’re no longer alive to share their perfection tips.

The richest people on the planet make mistakes. They just use it as an opportunity to learn. Yang Wang and colleagues found, “success comes down to learning from one’s prior mistakes”

Spiritual people make mistakes as well. They let the let the mistake go and learn from it as well.

Mistakes are a part of life. It’s what you do after the mistake happens which matters. Do you learn from it and not think about it again? Do you continue to doubt your decision and think about it extensively or endlessly?

Again, this is more time lost because you’re not sure about your choice. Not sure about yourself. You’re dealing with lost faith in you. In your abilities.

Successful people continue to make mistakes

Mistakes are called learning. The more you learn what NOT to do, the more narrow you are able to focus your attention on what works.

The trick is to use what didn’t work to find what does work.

You can continue to doubt yourself, stall out, delay and delay some more or go for it. In the process you’ll learn more about possible options in the future. You’ll actually get better at making decisions.

What’s your next step?

Make your decision and move on. Figure out after you make the decision if it was a good option. If it doesn’t turn out how you expected or wanted, so what. Use it to inform your next decision.

Not making a decision will reinforce a view of yourself that you don’t have the skills or abilities. You’ll doubt your experiences aren’t valid. Which is never the case.

Think about any experience you’ve had which didn’t turn out as you wanted. What did you learn from it? If nothing else, you learned not to do it again.

You don’t even have to have confidence in your decisions initially. The more you make, the easier it becomes to decide and the more confidence you’ll develop in yourself.

Use the time you would have wasted to do something you really want to do. Eat ice cream, watch a movie, create a side hustle, or just sit and relax without the stress of a decision holding your thoughts hostage.

Now’s the time, get out and make decisions!