What An 8 mm Bolt Teaches You About Life
In the world of car repair, a little bolt still deserves respect …
It all started with my passion to carry out repair work on my own car four years ago. My interest in car mechanics was aroused from watching countless YouTube videos and, especially, the ones by the 50sKid who gained a good reputation among the E46 car owners from across the world.
First, I have started with changing car engine oil twice a year and then moved on to a more back-breaking repairs like replacing the whole CCV (CrankCase Ventilation or Oil Separator Valve) and the Dual Vanos ring seals on a BMW E46 . After purchasing almost every tool and equipment required to carry these repairs, my journey into the self-sufficiency automotive repair world launched with great expectations. This has also taught me the dos and don’ts that the amateur mechanic learns along the way, notwithstanding, the failures and pains that go with bungling a job or two.
My latest adventure was replacing the window regulator/lifter on the front driver’s side (of a UK car). A tedious but a straightforward job thanks to that kid from the 50s again — and other videos as well. So I went ahead and purchased a used regulator from eBay at a good price and set out to replace it with great excitement and gusto.
Removing the door’s card was a dawdle and so was the shielding cover and the side air bag. Now I am confronted with the regulator, which is attached to the glass window mounted on red plastic clips/brackets with two 8 mm bolts.
The first one on the right hand side didn’t resist my eager ratchet unbolting movements, whereas the one on the left-hand side was a completely different nut to crack. With shock and horror, I discovered that its head was stripped and rounded; no amount of socket grip could be achieved despite all attempts to vary the angle of the ratchet or using pressure to gain the most infinitesimal of grips that was possible but to no avail. Using every brain cell that was put through its paces over the years during my postgraduate studies in Mathematical Physics, I came up with the crude solution to use a hammer and a flat-top screwdriver to bang the bolt into submission but with no success.
Back to Google search to allow my brain cells to recover from the swift defeat. One of the solutions that came up in the search was to use a socket grip to remove a stripped bolt head. This I diligently ordered from Amazon UK — my go to online shop for everything that humanity has over-laden this planet with — for next day delivery.
With as much excitement as a teen watching yet another TikTok viral video, I unpacked the panacea to my bolt woes as soon as I got home from work. Without delay, I rushed to the car’s door, fitted the socket grip to the ratchet and proceeded to end the bolt shenanigans once and for all. Then time stood still for a second or two. The new socket wouldn’t fit through the narrow regulator rail gap!
Cursing my luck, I re-summoned my brain’s synaptic connections to meet again and collaborate on a new solution. Within a minute or two, the solution revealed itself in all its glory; just widen the gap! Easily said than done but the metallic rail finally gave in to my brute twisting and tugging using a pair of pliers and a hammer.
Finally, the gap was wide enough for the socket to fit through.
Hurrah!
Oh No!
The darn thing still won’t grip properly! No amount of coaxing or cursing could resolve the sad state of affairs my life had reached already. I could’ve sworn I saw the recalcitrant bolt twisting left and right through the rail’s gap with a gloat as big as its tiny head.
“The victory is all mine, you amateur petrol head!”. “Bring it on, you mathematical-physicist-turned-car-wrecker!” was all I could imagine hearing coming through that rail gap. I could even hear myself and my alter ego arguing in the recesses of my brain.
Was there a way to reconcile the two so they merge into one force to be reckoned with? My thoughts kept drifting towards taking a break in the form of a mindfulness exercise. Would re-channeling the universal energies towards tackling the little gremlins that the automotive world has hidden in the entrails of their solid-state contraptions work?
Without much choice but to get this window regulator fixed, I proceeded to the next solution, which is to drill through the bolt head with a removal bit tool. Comes out my drill and the bits and let’s finish off this sorry job that has already dented my life with two days of successive failures.
And caring a lot about your precious time on this planet and how to make a good use of it, you’ll gladly hear that I’ve succeeded…by being consistent in my failures!
By this time, it was getting a bit late already and my patience was running thin. Eventually, this car repair was turning out to be a farce that was played out on my back. So for me to restore a modicum of whatever dignity was left clasping at my tired soul, an all-out war must be officially declared. To this end, only the big guns will win this war of both mental and financial attrition. And in the world of metallic bolts, heat is the worst weapon against their stubborn refusal for cooperation; a heat gun was ordered for next day delivery!
It’s a Monday, and I worked till 5 pm. I couldn’t hold my excitement when I got home; finally, the last hurdle will be overcome and normal life will take its rightful driving seat again. Without further ado, I unpacked the heat gun, grabbed a lead extension socket in which I plugged the gun. Then I readied myself with a smirk on my face coupled with the sinister thought that the existence of this 8 mm bolt was about to end … by being scorched out of oblivion!
I turned the switch on, pointed the gun’s heat at the bolt and proceeded with the melting task. The high temperature was swiftly generated in the form of burning and concentrated hot air. This sudden assault was heating up the bolt, the red plastic clip, the regulator’s metallic rail and, obviously, the attached portion of the bottom window too. Convinced that enough heat had been unleashed and its loosening effect on the bolt had been felt throughout its constituent molecules, I proceeded with the unbolting using the 8 mm socket grip. SCREAM! The bolt is NOT BUDGING!
Do bolts acquire anthropomorphic qualities like resilience when faced with adversity? They should because up to that time positive karma had favored them more than the incarnation of flesh and blood that is me! Would my re-incarnation prove more successful? That remains to be seen but, in that present moment, this bolt was coming out at all costs!
Next, I decided to go for the jugular; increase the heat to melt the bolt away! No bolt, no problem! And that was what I did! However, the heat was too much for the plastic clip, which melted away, but the bolt was just slightly disturbed. This is not happening! That’s it! Comes out the flat screwdriver and the hammer!
I thought banging on the side of the bolt’s head while sizzlingly hot would coax it into loosening a bit. That was all I ever wanted; just a tiny wiggle and a twist to indicate the beginning of an end to this unwritten saga. And banging I proceeded with. In no time, my hopes were dashed and my dream of winning this war had been smashed into smithereens … literally; the window shattered into a million piece of tiny glass particles and cut two of my left fingers along the way. The window decided to have no more attachment to a stubborn bolt and not to put up anymore with the constant assaults from a human with bad karma. It was time to ‘bolt’ for an undignified exit before this woeful human attempts another purchase from Amazon and contributes even more to the ridiculously excessive wealth of Jeff Bezos.
What a sight of devastation with the glass particles scattered everywhere on the drive’s ground and, at the same time, what a feeling of relief that the bolt had finally detached from its host!
First, I had to attend to my cut fingers by cleaning them and strapping them with some plasters. Next, the glass clean up begun and ended at the start of the twilight.
That evening I ordered a used window from eBay and, luckily, could collect the following day as the seller was local to me. During the previous three days, the hot weather had gripped the whole country — and the rest of Europe — so I was thankful not to worry too much about water proofing the windowless door gap; a sheet of plastic was sufficient to cover it overnight.
The next day, I drove to work normally with the hot weather still forecast for the rest of the week. I picked up the window from the seller and thinking it was going to be a slot-in-through-the-gap job, I found out that it wasn’t going to be the case. The gap was too narrow and another trim had to be removed to widen it.
Now we are in the morning of the fifth day when I was off work just to finish off this job. I proceeded to remove the black metal trim at the front of the door gently because it was firmly attached to its rubber trim running along the breadth of the bottom window sill. I managed to gingerly pry until the trim dislodged at one end. Prying even more put pressure on the metal strip, which started to bend slightly. This I thought was fixable later. I completed the removal of the rubber strip below it and finally I had enough room to slot in the window.
After much fiddling and coaxing, I managed to tighten the two bolts and tested everything was working fine. However, I noticed the window had a slight wobble or slack when wound down to the bottom. It also wouldn’t go all the way down and flush with the door frame at the bottom. This could have meant only one thing; the 8 mm bolt was sticking its proverbial middle finger from beyond its scorched grave. I accepted defeat and proceeded with putting all the parts together as quickly as possible so to move on with more important things in my life.
That bent metallic trim wasn’t fixable after all! At that point, I decided to give up on returning the car’s window and the trims to their former glory. An 8 mm bolt had cost me five days of my precious time on this planet and a few more tens of Pound Sterling that I could’ve spent on feeding my family instead. And yes, that’s how passions are fulfilled!
In the scheme of things, the mundanity of my story has no significance whatsoever to what’s happening to the world right now; the coronavirus pandemic has cost countless of innocent lives and caused untold miseries to people across the world whose livelihoods have been taken away from them due to economic meltdown and the loss of jobs. Not to mention the amount of stress and anxiety that we’ve all been put under just to cope with the new norm of social distancing and economic hardships.
We’re living in these unprecedented times and we may feel despair and hopelessness but life on this planet has always been turbulent throughout its history; from the flora and fauna mass extinctions to the constant wars of conquests in the past and the plagues and diseases that have decimated tens of millions since the beginning of time.
The dawn of economic growth after the Second World War has brought prosperity and peace to most nations. From the perspective of a human trying to make sense of their lives, finding purpose and meaning in a world grueling with conflicting doctrines and philosophies about life and death is no simple feat. If ‘an un-examined life is not worth living’, how do we find answers to the meaning of our existence and understand our place in this vast expanse of void and matter known as the universe while still bound by the limitations of our inner thoughts and the vagaries of our fleeting minds.
We can only fight our little demons one battle at a time and, however petty and insignificant they may turn out to be, winning them would provide us with the spiritual outlook and gritty determination to tackle the bigger challenges that may threaten us as a species overall.
In my case, an 8 mm bolt had shielded me from the seriousness of the state of affairs that have pervaded every mind and soul on this planet in the last six months. With all due respect of the suffering across the world, focusing on resolving my own little mechanical challenge was still no easy task to scoff at.
We can reflect on our world that is experiencing a deadly assault from an invisible enemy but, to many, this is a transient threat that will be overcome with the development of a vaccine soon. The greatest assault on our dreams and aspirations is the polarization of the political systems with the extremists and religious fanatics taking control of powerful nations and imposing their small-minded and partisan policies to spread even more turmoil and divisions between our nations and peoples.
Ultimately, It is these people and their radical policies that will annihilate us all. We might conquer the viruses but will the diseases of ignorance, racism and bigotry still prevail by causing more wars and destruction to our fragile environments.
For now, let me just tackle the little 8 mm bolts in my life. Would you care to share your one?
Hope you’ll all stay well and safe.