What Adele’s Body Transformation Can Teach Us About Self-Love
Is the self-love movement just an excuse for people to be lazy and unhealthy?
Superstar singer Adele rocked the internet with her recent body transformation. Reports of a 100 pound (approximately 7 stone or 44kg) weight loss, is no easy feat by anyone standards.
Whilst a truly incredible transformation, it left some people singing her praises on just how fabulous she looks. Whilst others slammed her for abandoning her message of self-love, body positivity and that they preferred her looking another way.
Whilst self-love and self-acceptance are a nice notion in theory. From my own experiences actually putting it into practise when you don’t truly love the way your body looks can be incredibly challenging, and something of a fine balance.
And is self-love often just an excuse for people to be lazy and treat their bodies like crap?
Whether we like it or not, right or wrong, people will place judgements on you based upon the way you look. It’s human nature, we can’t help it and we all do it, even if we choose to keep our thoughts in our head rather than bashing someone on the internet, or even worse, to their face.
Our judgements come from our own past experiences, other peoples influence and social conditioning. Then when it comes to someone who is in the spotlight like Adele the variety of these judgements can be sprawled all over the internet for all to see.
Some of the comments from her Instagram account read:
“I miss you having more weight’
‘How many dieting pills did you take’
‘I liked you more when you were thicker’
‘Why won’t you admit you have had a gastric band?’
Many others were praising her for the way she looks and celebrating her weight loss success.
How is it anyone else’s business what someone decides to do with their own body and it has literally nothing to do with a persons talent or indeed their worth? What relevance does a person’s looks or body have to do with who they are as a human being? It does not display the characteristics that we should be looking for in a person, talent, kindness, work ethic, compassion whether they are a decent human being.
It can be hard for anyone to show up on social media celebrity or not, and words (of some complete stranger may I add) can have the potential to cut you to the core and leave you questioning who you are if it’s left unchecked.
This big lesson from these comments and the difference of opinions is:
You are never going to please everyone. Nor should you be attempting to, and definitely DO NOT attempt to change your body for anyone else other than yourself.
I have spent much of my life wishing my body was different, wishing my nose wasn’t so bent, that my boobs were bigger and that my belly was flatter, that I was a bit skinnier, and why? To fit into someone else’s perception of what it means to be beautiful, what they consider health looks like, to feel accepted, to feel like I am enough?
As a wellness coach, I have felt the pressure to look a certain way, that certain way being slim, toned and with a washboard stomach.
Its’ with both age and growing self-awareness, that I have been able to come to a place of acceptance of my body, and I am so much happier for it. The feeling of freedom that came when I stopping trying to force myself into clothes from years ago that no longer fit. Instead, I decided I didn’t ‘need’ to lose the weight, I just needed to buy bigger pants to feel more comfortable and confident.
Women’s bodies come in all shapes and sizes, all are beautiful in their own unique way and ‘health’ is not defined by the way a body looks.
I have spoken with ex-fitness models, with their clearly defined abs and toned muscles who have also been severely malnourished, so much so that it’s disrupted their menstrual cycle and caused a lifetime of disordered eating. While they looked carved to ‘perfection’ they lived their lives ruled by food, restriction, hours and hours in the gym and feeling constantly hungry, tired and downright unhappy.
Redefining Health
You can be healthy and overweight, you can also be skinny and unhealthy, I don’t believe there is a fixed ideal about what it means to be healthy and it is far more about how you ‘feel’ within in your body.
I have a mummy tummy with stretch marks and loose skin, I have cellulite and muffin tops, yet I feel fit, I feel strong, I have run Spartan ultra races that lasted over 12 hours, I have birthed two healthy real-life humans. I love a salad but I’ll also take a beer alongside that salad too from time to time.
I’ll always be working to be even fitter and healthier, because I believe in the constant evolution of the self, but it now comes from a place of acceptance rather than continually hating and shaming.
It’s time to stop glamorising restrictive and obsessive behaviours around food and get back in tune what it means to feel healthy, rather than thinking it’s coming from looking a certain way.
Self Management
What we really need to create is the emotional intelligence around body image and to empower all women, to know that someone else’s opinion of you is actually none of your business. What IS your business, is to know who the heck you are and to continue to stand in your own truth, realising what is actually important to you, your life and your health.
Your happiness and your self worth is not dependant on anyone else’s opinion of you. The only thing that really matters is how you feel about yourself.
As women, we need to stop bashing, criticising and attempting to pull people down over the internet, period!!
Adele has achieved many amazing things in her life, and none of that had anything to do with her body composition. Though she hasn’t made a public statement about her weight loss, does her getting in shape mean she loves herself any less??
Or, could it be possible that her transformation actually came as a result of loving and honouring herself more than ever before?
In a recent Instagram post on her review of the book ‘Untamed — Stop pleasing Start Living’ she stated “I never knew that I am solely responsible for my own joy, happiness and freedom!! Who knew our own liberation liberates those around us? Cause I didn’t!! I thought we were meant to be stressed and dishevelled, confused and selfless like a Disney character!’
Stepping away from the shackles of who she thought people wanted her to be, and actually becoming more of who she already was.
Choosing To Feel Good
Self-love can come from accepting all that you are, knowing that your worth is not determined by the way your body looks.
Just don’t use self-love as a reason to fill your body with crap and practise unhealthy habits. On the flip side don’t lose weight to try and fit into any other persons ‘ideal’ or what you believe society thinks you should look like.
Adele tells us she feels healthy and happy and that’s the point that really matters.
Be really honest with yourself and ask, do you feel good?
Do you feel energised?
Are you free from ailments?
Can you keep up with all of the things that you want to fit into your best life??
If so, awesome. Keep on doing that.
If not, then allow yourself to focus on your health, but doing it from a place of love and knowing you are worthy of allowing yourself to feel good from the inside out. Wanting to improve your health and potentially release a few pounds doesn’t mean you hate yourself, it just means you are ready to step into your most vibrant, healthiest, next level of the most badass awesome queen you were put on this earth to be.
People will always judge you, that’s just part of human nature, but their perception of you does not have to affect how you show up in the world, you don’t need the validation of others, all you really need is the love and acceptance of yourself.
Choose to feel good, choose to love and care for your amazing body, choose what truly makes you happy.
I write about mindset, health, habit creation and how to be a happier you. Join my newsletter at emmacolseynicholls.com/medium
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