What a Materially Obsessed Culture Fails To Tell You About Happiness

At first, I favored the idea that happiness came strictly from your inner mental state. I personally thought that one could meditate his way to achieve enlightenment and live happily ever after. WRONG. Even though there is some truth in this statement. There is a lot more to happiness than shifting your perspective or taming the subconscious mind.

You might be thinking happiness obviously comes from money, fame, recognition, and status, right? WRONG. The only possible explanation would then be that happiness comes from your relationships with other people. Could be …. But not necessarily. In my recent interview with Jonathan Haidt, he completely shattered everything I thought to be true about happiness.

Happiness comes from between

1. Between yourself and others

Robert Waldinger is the 4th Director of the Harvard study on adult development. In this study, they tracked 724 American men over 80 years and counting. In his viral TED talk, he explains this study in great detail.

“Since 1938, we have tracked the lives of two groups of men. The first group started in the study since they were sophomores at Harvard college…. The second group that we followed was a group of boys from Boston’s poorest neighborhoods.”

I find this fascinating because you can’t get more prestigious than Harvard University. So if fame, fortune, and prestige brought happiness, this story would have been the best to prove it or disprove it. So you can all guess what the findings from this study where.

“The clearest message they get from this study is that good relationships keep us happier and healthier PERIOD.”

I am all for ambition, drive, going out there and conquering the world. But (and this is an important BUT) don’t achieve this by stepping on other people or disregarding your most essential relationships: family, friends, community. Align your goals with values that will lead to more meaningful connections and more time to spend with other people. Especially those you care about and who care about you.

2. Between yourself and your work.

It is common knowledge that people spend most of their life at work. The average amount of hours we spend at work in our lifetime is 90k. Money comes and goes, you can make back your money. But you can’t take back your time. So when you are deciding where to work or what to work on. I truly hope that you are not doing something solely because it will make you a lot of money.

“People are frugal in guarding their personal property. But as soon as it comes to squandering time, they are the most wasteful of the one thing in which it is right to be stingy.” — Seneca

Don’t waste your life doing shit you don’t like to do period. Even if it means that you have to live in a smaller house or that you can’t drive a Ferrari. I assure you that you are going to be 10x happier and richer, doing what you love than a job where you feel miserable. Here’s the trick, if you are truly passionate, committed to your cause, and adding value to society, money will follow. Working at a huge bank and climbing the corporate ladder isn’t the only path to riches. It certainly isn’t the path to long-lasting fulfillment. Also, don’t worry if you don’t know what your dream job is. Jonathan Haidt said

“Most of the people typically don’t have a clear track. Almost all the interesting jobs are not on any track. The people who love their jobs and have done most of the interesting and unusual things, typically it’s not on any track. It’s a chance meeting.”

Be on the lookout for your chance meeting.

3. Between yourself and something larger than yourself.

In truth, philanthropists aren’t just highly empathetic people. They do it because it “feels good.” Studies indicate that the very act of giving back to the community boosts your happiness, health, and sense of well-being.

Connecting to something larger than yourself not only will provide you an abundance of happiness, but it is that source of willpower one needs to keep going when times are dark.

Are you doing anything that is not only benefiting yourself?

If you have answered no to this question, then you have to re-align your values because how can the universe give, when all you do is take? This isn’t just achieved through volunteer work. It could also be achieved through spirituality, religion, purpose, politics. Whether it’s fighting for something you believe in, achieving spirituality, giving back to the local homeless shelter, or whatever you want. Just make sure that you are doing something that is not solely for your own benefit. Through this, you will finally realize why some people aren’t afraid of death. They have something that they are willing to die for. Also, if you have been able to tie this sense of purpose with your work. You are a true Alchemist.

“Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile” — Albert Einstein

Thank you for your valuable time! I would love to hear what you liked and how I can improve? Follow for weekly blog posts. All the love. All the power.