5 Things to Focus on When Homeschooling

Lockdown has brought an unprecedented change in family dynamics, including homeschooling. Here are 5 reasons I choose to homeschool.

Homeschooling through Lockdown has been an undeniable challenge. I left my day job, cut down on my self-care routine, lowered my expectations, and had super hard days. I’ve cried, gone to bed early, and I’ve compromised on dinner standards, bath standards, and screen time standards.

But, I’m still happily planning to continue to homeschool after the pandemic is over, and everyone goes back to school.

Do you want to know why?

It’s because I feel as if I have my children back. Before the pandemic, I struggled with connecting with my teen and pre-teen. I almost felt as though that ship had sailed, that it was too late. That all I could do was damage control. And hope and pray that they turned out OK.

Each day they travelled further and further away from the polite, kind, generous, dedicated, hardworking children I thought I had brought up. Each day brought new behaviour via schools and screens, which they then brought into the house. I felt disconnected and slightly hopeless.

After March 2020, when everyone cried because their lives had been turned upside-down, I laughed.*

Through working from home, I could spend hours on end with my children at one time, and I could work through the issues that we had instead of ignoring them.

Yes, it was easier to communicate, but things got worse before they got better. It was a massive struggle to get to where we are today.

We went through shouting matches, turmoil, unrest, and defeat before we emerged triumphant, calm, relaxed, and closer than ever before.

It’s true that when we sat down to talk about things, I had to face things about myself that were difficult to swallow. Why did I expect my children to approach things with a calm attitude if all I seemed to do was shout to be heard? Why did I expect them to take a deep breath before responding to a problem if I snapped back and didn’t allow myself to breathe and relax before responding to their misbehaviour?

I had to reread my self-development book to come to an understanding of the work that had to be done! It was a test, undeniably, and a big one.

So why have I continued homeschooling? Surely, I’m making things hard for myself?

Here are 5 things I focus on making homeschooling easier. Maybe by citing them here, it will make your own journey better or help you understand the mad mind of a homeschooling mum of 5!

5 Things to Focus on When Homeschooling

1. Bruce Lee said it right when he said to focus on experiences and not material things.

Instead of buying your children all the things you never had, you should teach them all the things you were never taught. Material wears out, but knowledge stays.

— Bruce Lee.

Through homeschooling, I’ve found that I have more time to dedicate to building upon our experiences. It’s also a fab idea to keep strong ties with family relations and friendships, no matter how hard it might be, so that your children can blossom amidst the love and laughter of great days out with them.

Of course, our choices of experiences are limited during this Lockdown. What we’ve managed to do is make friends with a neighbour who owns livestock. By spending time with animals, my children have learnt so much. Hard work, dedication, and perseverance are the character traits that I now witness daily and celebrate.

Via homeschooling, unusual experiences with nature, and strong relationships with an array of animals will increase your child’s knowledge in ways that you could never have imagined.

2. Make Memories

It doesn’t matter if your family holiday takes the form of a night making a fire, a weekend camping trip to the Lake District, a cross-country road trip to visit family or friends, or an exotic week abroad. Those few days spent together are more likely to form your child’s best memories than any other time!

UK travel expert John McDonald calls them “happiness anchors.” He says, “reflecting on our happiest memories of joyful time spent together as a family can be extremely powerful in bringing relief and respite when faced with the darker times that life can bring. By using these memories as an anchor to take us back to more cheerful moments, we’re often able to approach problems with a fresh sense of perspective.”

By continuing to homeschooling your children, you can now choose your holidays. You’ll be able to book holidays during term time, which is much cheaper!

Toronto researcher Cindy Chan says, “If you want to give [your children] something that will make them feel closer to you, give an experience.”

Chan’s research found that giving experiences rather than material gifts to children will provide longer-lasting and more affecting memories.

I agree! I can’t think of a better gift than that of a family holiday.

Our job, as parents, is to make beautiful memories with our children. Reflecting on them and discussing them together is a fantastic way to increase the children’s chance of remembering them.

This will help in future hard times and stress. It’s so beautiful that memories of good times will help our children get through bad times in the future.

Another point to note here is that children remember little before the age of 4. Your outings could comprise them rolling around in the park whatever the weather (which would be quite an experience with our fabulous variants of British weather!), and they wouldn’t know any different! Don’t put too much stress on yourself.

Consistent trips to the library and park can give your children the stability and experiences they need without spending too much money. Remember to take photos, no matter how mundane the day might seem! A bright smile or a moment of connection will be preserved for life and work as a reminder of great times together. This will reassure your children that their childhood was full of great times.

3. Spend Time Outdoors

Not only is exercise fantastic to get your blood running through your veins at a faster rate, which encourages the production of oxygen, it’s also a massive stress alleviator. Getting a daily 2–3 hours of movement outdoors will improve any mental health ailments. When children are busy doing schoolwork, they rarely enjoy the outdoors. When you’re at home, the learning via books can be limited to 2–3 hours and the rest of the time can be spent outdoors, living in the vast world and exploring.

As a Forest School Practitioner trainee, I have witnessed the benefits of outdoor learning first-hand. The awe and wonder of seeing wildlife at work are second to none. Virtually every subject taught at school can be taught outdoors. The depth of knowledge and the focus of the child outdoors is phenomenal.

Outdoors, the intrinsic nature of a child to learn, and benefit from what is in their environment, is awakened.

Even though this nature should exist in every child, it is quashed by the notion of school and the learned behaviour that there are certain times and places where learning should occur.

I also worked as a teacher at a Steiner School and was blessed to witness, assist, and teach children from the age of 3–17 in a wonderfully creative and positive environment. I noticed the children’s joy, the natural curiosity, and the feeling of overwhelming gratitude at the recognition of a genuinely holistic curriculum, which had the natural flow of the child at its heart.

This is what I hope to emulate at home during a homeschool day. Although Forest School Programs are becoming more prevalent in UK schools, I don’t know if a school can give a child this opportunity daily if I send them to school.

The simplicity of observing life has a pure joy that will harness energy and joy inside them that has nothing to do with a material gain if awakened in a child while they’re still young enough. Their deeply rooted gratitude will stem from witnessing nature’s million daily miracles, and you’ll no longer be struggling to afford the ‘next best’ gadget or game to keep them on the side.

4. Limiting Screen Time

After watching Netflix’s The Social Dilemma, I, along with many other parents I’m sure, was once again reminded of the addictive nature of social media. Underhand political issues aside, a virtual device with the power to affect my children’s mental health, under my very nose, was terrifying.

When you homeschool, you can choose what age it feels appropriate to give your child a phone. You don’t need to succumb to the pressure of buying one just because your child might be travelling home alone and may need to get in touch. You don’t fall for the guilt-inducing line of, ‘Everyone in my class has one. It’s not fair!’. And, trust me, if your child has a phone in their pockets in class, chances are they’ll be using it in class.

I’ve heard of classrooms that will ban phone usage outright and others that will allow ‘fair use’ during sessions. Given that children will be using their devices to entertain themselves and each other during a lesson, is it any wonder I’ve included this as an advantage of homeschooling?

Without a device, your child will be allowed to feel bored. Boredom increases creativity, as a recent study at Harvard suggests. Two separate studies suggest that boredom can help a person connect ideas and help a person solve problems. If a child has a mobile device at hand, would you agree that the ability to get bored is non-existent? Wouldn’t you be doing them a favour then, to take this device from them?

I know that most of the creative play we did as children was derived from boredom and this imaginative play forms some of my strongest childhood memories.

Homeschooling will ensure that there will be pockets of boredom and daydreaming in your child’s day — another reason I choose this for our family.

5. Flexibility and the Ability To Adapt To the Change

Is it me, or are children really into this instant gratitude culture? They have the world at their fingertips. There’s no such thing as waiting for a particular album to be released on CD anymore. When they see a book or audio story or soundtrack they like the look of, they can order it and have it within seconds. When they need something for a project, delivery times these days mean it can be in their hands in minutes.

This instant gratification isn’t good for a child’s soul. To receive everything they may need in their childhood years, without having to wait and show patience, paints the wrong picture of the real world.

In my experience, homeschooled children are more flexible to change and learn patience through living in the real world. There is nothing instant about learning to make your breakfast and sorting out your laundry! On a typical day, children rarely participate in menial household tasks. Homework and projects (not to mention screen time) play a significant role in usurping the short time children get at home.

To Conclude

As families count down to the days of normality, some families have decided to continue to homeschool. If you can’t understand why someone would choose to do such a crazy thing, I’ve listed five advantages.

I must add that it’s working for us now, and that’s why we’re doing it. As soon as it stops working, we will put them back into school. We are grateful for the school system in our country. If nothing else, most schools do a grand job of babysitting our children so the nation can get to work!!

I’m so aware that there are people from single-parent families or families with a single income or people who have someone with a disability in the family that can’t homeschool. This is an informative article and not meant to make you feel unworthy. I acknowledge my privilege that I can choose to homeschool.

If you’ve read my previous articles, you’ll know that I always encourage people to do the best they can in the circumstances they’ve been given.

I’ve written this for those who’d like to get into my mind to understand my decision! Yes, my mental health is essential, and as soon as I feel that I’m compromising my love for life by keeping the children at home, I’ll readdress the choice.

I know they’ll know if I resent it and them, and that will affect them negatively. Therefore, I know that homeschooling isn’t for everyone. We’ve been through multiple house moves across the country and beyond. The stability and security is given by remaining constant and attached, and attentive to their every need, no matter whether they are schooled formally or not.

As soon as I feel I’m not listening to my child and ignoring their needs, the balance needs to be restored and the choice of schooling readdressed. Until then, I’m busy!

*When I say I laughed, I don’t mean to demean the many losses of loved ones you may have had to bear. I’m so sorry for the difficulties through the pandemic, be it emotional, physical, or financial stress on you or other family members. I’m simply cataloging the relief I felt when I could work from home. I could suddenly handle managing the household and the children more easily because it freed so much of my time.

I hope you found this article informative or at least entertaining!

Do you have anything to add to the discussion?

Until next time,

Peace and Love,

Sidra Ansari

P.S I have some exciting news to share. My first ever book, Finding Peace Through Prayer and Love, published by Beacon Books, was released on 1st January 2021 and is available to buy via Amazon!