Welcome to Taiwan in the South China Sea — Wanderlust Adventure

An Ilha Formosa Beautiful Island Pussycat Tale

Ilha Formosa (Beautiful Island) Name given to Taiwan by Portuguese Mariners

A Pussy Cat Tale

Lady Donga Diaries

Words & Pictures — Lady Donga

Meow 138

“Ni hao ma (hello) — welcome to Taiwan, Seaspray D” declared Xiao Zhangyu — the tiny oriental lady with a smile as big as the sun (The translation from Mandarin to English for Xiao Zhangyu is Little Octopus — but we shall refer to Ms Xiao Zhangyu as Octopussy from hereon on for brevity purposes).

Seaspray D had just arrived on a Dragon Airlines Boeing 737 from Hong Kong — landing at Kaohsiung International airport in the south of the island country.

And once Seaspray D’s Taiwan work permit visa[1] was passport stamped ROC (Republic of China) at airport immigration — he was delighted to see his friend Octopussy greet him with that rather large smile while she held the sign: ‘Seaspray D — Welcome to our country Taiwan.’

Underneath his name on the sign was a picture of a little Octopus.[2]

Octopussy blushed beside her father as the rather tall Seaspray D bent down from the stratosphere to give his fellow student colleague a hug.

The father looked momentarily horrified — but then kindly offered to assist the tall blond ‘Shrek’ like gweilo (Cantonese — Foreign Devil or White Ghost) Australian with his luggage.

And before long the trio was motoring down the freeway through the humid mid evening air en-route to Tainan 50 km northwards on the west side of the island.

On the way Octopussy and Seaspray D had much to discuss about their pre university graduation days and the friends they had in common.

They soon arrived at the house where Seaspray D collapsed with tiredness on the bed that was shown to him shortly after.

The next few days were spent touring the city on a Honda scooter — Seaspray D driving — and Octopussy giving directions from behind.

At night they spent time in the girls room upstairs where Octopussy shared a room with her older sister Squiddly Diddly.

This seemed fine for a while — but soon the father advised that Seaspray D should find his own accommodation.

Octopussy took Seaspray D to temporary accommodation downtown, where Seaspray D stayed for a few days in a hotel while looking for a teaching job on the internet.

Jobs were quite easy to come by and soon newly graduated Seaspray D was teaching kids that looked as though they had just been born.

The teaching sessions were mostly at night while the student parents slaved away in factories to pay for their children’s education.

During the day Seaspray D worked on his Master Degree (International Development — Taiwan) and received help from Octopussy and her friends at the library sourcing the relevant literature required.

Seaspray D was amazed with the Harry Potter style automated library shelves — technology far exceeding anything seen in Australia.

When not doing this — Seaspray D would gorge himself on delicious Taiwanese food — he especially loved the dumplings washed down with bubbled pearl tea that was seemingly on sale at every street corner.

Octopussy soon scored a teaching job near her home — so as a result would not hang out with Seaspray D as much as before — besides — he now lived some distance from her in Hsin Ying — 25 miles north of Tainan.

Seaspray D enjoyed his time teaching, but was occasionally distracted by some of the attending mothers who would openly flirt with him.

There was one lady in particular who was most persistent — and said she needed Seaspray D to accompany her on a shopping trip to buy English lesson books for her child.

Seaspray D was reluctant initially to do this — but eventually relented and went with the lady to what he thought was a bookshop — but turned out to be a short time hotel.

The ravenous lady thereafter attacked him inside the love hotel — and due to his inferior strength and weakness at the knees, he succumbed to an event that was more like feasting time for panthers at the zoo.

Meoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow!

However, this was not to continue for long, as the ex-husband of the ravenous panther lady had rung the school to complain!

Of course the panther lady had told Seaspray D she was divorced — so my poor human really was the innocent party here readers — believe me.

Thereafter Seaspray D had some time off from that bedroom sport and visited Octopussy and other university mates he had studied with down under.

The girls took him to a smorgasbord banquet on the top level of a Tainan Hotel — and paid for him to eat as much food as he wanted. Seaspray D had never seen so much posh food in his life and gorged on several giant clam sized oysters like there was no tomorrow.

After that the girls took him to a nightclub where they danced until dawn.

The next day Seaspray D walked around Tainan city and found a tattoo shop.

And in that tattoo shop he suffered over six hours pain receiving a feline like tattoo — that looks remarkably like me (Lady Donga) — a black panther — ready to feast.

MeoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW

Only the heavens know why he chose that black pussycat tattoo.

Interestingly, when he limped into work on Monday his boss was curious.

“Oh, I have a pussycat tattoo that is recovering,” Seaspray D explained — showing his boss the freshly feasted upon lower limb.

Well, his boss was shocked and horrified that ‘his’ teacher had this new mafia style artwork on his leg — and seemingly this changed the way that his boss interacted with him in future.

That and the divorced husband who had rung to complain about Seaspray D several times.

Never mind — what more can a poor wild child colonial boy do?

The next weekend — Seaspray D caught a luxury double decker bus to Taipei — where he met with other fellow students from his university days.

The girls took him all over Taipei city showing him this and that — he found the National Palace Museum at Tian Mu especially interesting.

Equally interesting was the Taipei hotel he stayed at.

Not long after he checked in, he received a phone call from reception asking if he would like a massage.

Shortly after, there was a knock at the door — and as soon as the door opened a lady dressed in white carrying a long cane that vision impaired folk might use, burst through the door — threw poor Seaspray D on the bed and proceeded to pummel him and other things.

The lady left after an hour and many other things later — richer than when she had arrived — winked him goodbye — and left Seaspray D totally exhausted after his diuretic massage treatment — with a smirk on his face — stress — totally released dear readers.

What a wild weekend — he pondered as the luxury double decker bus slipped out of the city.

During the next trip to Taipei he would interview a retired Taiwanese army general — but that will be another tale — for another time.

In the meantime — he had time to kick back on this couch like luxury bus seat — and watch a movie.

However, there was only one movie available dear readers — and to Seaspray D’s horror and amusement combined — the movie was the same feasting like a passionate punk panther scene he had experienced only weeks before — ending with the recent vision impaired lady experience hitting him on the backside with her long white cane!

There you are folks — a happy and healthy ending!

MeooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooW for now dear readers

Until next time

With Love — Lady Donga Diaries — © Meow 138–2023

[1] (Issued by the Taiwan Republic of China Taipei Economic & Cultural Office — not Beijing PRC)

[2] This pussycat tale predates me (Lady Donga Human Master and Story Narrator)– but on reflection I was so happy my human servant had a friend with the marine feline name Octopussy.