“I Wish We Were More of a Team With Money”
Millennial couples badly want true partnerships, but aren’t always sure how to have conversations directly and vulnerably.
“I wish we were more of a team with our money.”
That’s a quote I’ve heard versions of from dozens of individuals I’ve interviewed to understand how finances influence our relationships.
It’s not the budget we’re ever really fighting about — it’s feeling invisible or unimportant or unheard.
As the cofounder and CEO of Enriched Couples, I’ve had the privilege of having men and women open up to me about what’s great, what’s awful, and what they are confused or anxious about. Through those conversations — and all the scientific, nerdy stuff I studied in grad school — I’ve developed a colossal appreciation for just how confusing societal expectations make financial partnerships.
I am also my own customer. (So is Michael, my cofounder.) This November, I’ll get married to the most supportive partner I’ve ever had.
But, even he and I have had challenging discussions about how to handle our money once we’re married. It hasn’t always been easy or comfortable — and I do this for a living. We recently squabbled about a negotiation one of us didn’t want to deal with because it was going to be super uncomfortable. The other got annoyed.
That’s pretty normal. You’re not alone.
No one — in any relationship — wants to feel lonely. But, sometimes money can create so much misunderstanding or shame that we do end up feeling alone, regardless of our partner’s love for us. And that sucks.
This part is what actually causes relationship conflict.
Feeling hurt.
Feeling alone.
Feeling overwhelmed.
It’s not the budget we’re ever really fighting about — it’s feeling invisible or unimportant or unheard.
“My life partner — the person I love more than anyone in the world — does not understand me.”
Is there any worse feeling in the world?
Someone once said, “Loneliness is not the absence of faces, but intimacy.” We couldn’t agree more.
Our Mission
In 2015, Enriched Couples began as a research project.
My cofounder, Michael, and I presented our research at a conference in Chicago — and have embarrassing pictures to prove it.
We called the poster “Fighting about Finances” and it was all about using evidence-based mental health techniques to help couples prevent distress. The theories and ideas we presented there became the cornerstone for our product.
We built Enriched Couples from the ground up using behavioral science. It feels right to call it a financial therapy tool for millennials by millennials. We get this problem on a personal level, but we’re also mental health professionals using science for the greater good.
We mixed together all manner of scientific techniques to help you enrich your relationship and understand each other better — so you can build the life you want together.
The platform acts as a guide for you and your partner through a personalized journey to build trust and create sustainable habits.
If I boiled down the benefits to you, I’d say the most important things are:
- Discovering your and your partner's core personal values
- Enriching your relationship
- Unifying your financial priorities based on values and relationship goals
Be honest. You’re probably thinking, “Okay, I think I get it…?!”
No worries. We made a 90-second clip to introduce it and help with some of those cartoon question marks hovering over your heads. We get that “financial therapy” is a radically new concept in the world.
(It features several of our personal friends, one of our partners, and cameo appearances by the two of us playing board games — watch for it, my hair is awful! Startups don’t have a budget for hairstylists in this stuff, folks. Friends were gracious enough to help us film this beautiful piece for you.)
You’re here, on our Medium publication, which is an extension of our platform. We hope to add value to your life — whether you ever use our product or not.
We’re so excited to meet you!
Whether you’re heterosexual or queer, Black or LatinX, white or multiracial, living together or married, neurodivergent or neurotypical, high school educated or a doctor — we welcome you.
As a company cofounded by a woman with ADHD from an economically disadvantaged upbringing and gay man from the midwest, we authentically strive to be inclusive in how we run our company. This includes our imagery, language, product design, user community, and especially who we hire onto our team.
Further — this is an open invitation to hold us accountable to these goals.
Enriched Couples helps couples in transition
Because major life events and celebrations often come with major financial decisions, couples are often trying to sort out their expectations, assumptions, feelings, and habits around the old versus the new.
This includes:
- Engaged — wedding budgets are stressful
- Newlyweds — this is often when couples decide how/what/if to merge their financial lives; separate is a valid decision, too!
- Becoming parents
- Moving in together, buying a home
- Relocating for a job
Get Enriched Couples
Cheers, Annette Miller Editor, Cofounder, and CEO Enriched Couples
Annette Miller is the Cofounder of Enriched Couples, the first financial therapy platform for family financial wellness. Focusing on trust and teamwork-building, the platform helps couples forge healthier relationships with money and one another. It blends cognitive-behavioral techniques with financial empowerment for richer relationships with unified financial goals.
