Welcome To My World
Surviving a near death experience made me realize it was time to show up and discover my true purpose in life, which is to awaken, inspire, and empower others to live the life they love.
I grew up in an ordinary Midwestern home. I got married at the young age of 21 and everything seemed to be going along just fine. The only problem was I was just sort of going through the motions doing what I thought I was supposed to do. I had not found my authentic voice yet. We had our first child when I was 24 and I began to feel a bit more like an adult, but still I knew something was missing.
One horrible day changed the trajectory of our lives. In 2009, as the stock market was crashing and my now ex’s job was on the line, we were watching TV after the kids went to bed. I made the terrible mistake of making the snide remark of asking him to change the annoying car racing channel he was watching and oh boy that did it. That was the straw that broke the camels back so to speak, and he snapped. He called me horrible names and stomped upstairs. I was horrified. I did not understand why we were fighting over a TV channel and what had happened. I begged him to come back and talked to me. Well, that was my second mistake. He came back all right, but not to talk. He grabbed me by my ponytail, dragged me through our family room, like a cave woman, and into our kitchen where he forced my head under our kitchen sink faucet and turned on the water. He was holding my body so that me feet were dangling helplessly off the ground, his one hand around my throat and neck and his other hand holding my nose shut so that I could not breathe. I remember struggling for what seemed like a few minutes until I finally surrendered. I really thought that was the end of my life.
I think it scared him enough to snap him out of it and he picked me up and threw me on the floor so hard that it gave me whiplash. I stayed very still. This time trying to hide my tears and no longer begging him to talk. I waited until he went back upstairs and then got my cell phone and slept terrified with the phone under the couch pillow. My sister helped me get legal help several days later. Long story short. He later admitted that had I not gone to court he had planned to kill me.The judge said she was appalled and had never seen a first time domestic violence case so brutal. I am just glad I got a second chance at life. I now know I have a mission to help awaken, empower and inspire others to live the life they love.
I suffered P.T.S.D. and tended to isolate myself particularly in any conflict. It was a long road toward healing. I found great comfort and peace in yoga and began to dive into the journey of the self through self help books. I even ran a full marathon with the L.L.S. in honor of my dad, who at the time had been newly diagnosed with Myeloma. I decided to take my Ashtanga Yoga Teacher Training in 2012 which truly changed my life for the better. I felt confidence growing in me like never before. I found my authentic voice. Some people didn’t like that, including my husband at the time. We had gotten back together after the violent episode, like so many domestic violence cases do. It is hard to explain why it so hard to leave, but it really boils down to a trauma bond. I learned a lot through both the study of the self and also through many years of therapy. You are not ready to leave until one day something just clicks inside of you and when you are ready, you are ready.
I learned though that with my marriage on the rocks, and gaining more confidence to leave, it was not a very sustainable business financially. I needed to grow into something where I could reach more people on a broader scale. I surrendered once again, this time to the death of my studio in brick and mortar form. I began teaching corporate yoga with Sunny D and traveling to teach and speak at corporate events with Avon Corporation. I also began avidly blogging and grew a world wide following. I decided to get my coaching certificates and began coaching online. I now have clients in over 101 countries globally. I have never been happier. This turned out to be such a blessing as my daughter ended up very ill. The flexibility to travel to Cleveland Clinic and different doctors, and still continue to work, has been a miracle.
I let go of all my fears and insecurities about divorce,being a single parent, and finally had the courage to ask my now ex to dissolve our marriage. We had been separated and living apart for years and it was time to move forward with life. We were able to do so amicably which was partially due to my training in yoga and as a coach. It has worked out great for our family.
Our daughter has had terrible health struggles, as I briefly mentioned. She will be a senior in college on a Pre Veterinary Track. I am so incredibly proud of that girl’s determination. She inspires me more than any person on this earth. She suffers from invisible diseases such as Dysautonomia, Ehlers Danlos, and P.O.T.S. We are also undergoing further tests because her stomach is paralyzed. She never gives up though. She on target to graduate on time. Again, a life lesson and a gift to me in some ways to be exposed to such learning experiences. I had never heard of invisible illnesses until we went through this with her. They are very difficult to diagnose and incredibly frustrating. I now know what a struggle some people go through and how to help people approach that, and what to say and not say. I also know to leave working dogs alone while they are on duty.
I truly believe everything happens for a reason, even the horrible things. You know you have truly healed when you are able to talk about it without crying, forgive completley, and go on to help others. I believe I experienced the level of physical and then later emotional abuse, so that I could relate to and in turn help others. I recently took custody of a 14 year old who was in an unhealthy home. His step father was verbally and emotionally abusive and his mom refused to leave the step dad. The court asked if I would be willing since he was happy in my home, my son and he were friends. Nothing is coincidence. It is going to be a long hard road to healing for him with deep emotional wounds, but I have no doubt the universe guided him to me for a reason. It has been intersting dealing with “the system” and working with social services. My experience has been positive though and they have provided me with a lot of wonderful support.
If my articles help or inspire just one person each day I feel like I have done my part in this world. I want people to know that everyone has a story. Everyone has something special to add to this world. Just be you and do not worry about what anyone else thinks. Wear what you want, be silly, dance as you cross the streets…just be kind. Abuse of any kind is never ok. Life is hard enough. Let’s lift each other up and inspire one another rather than knock each other down! Oh, and by the way, I love music of all genres, laughing, camping, love to cook and eat, red wine, travel the globe, and have a soft spot for animals.
Peace & Love,
Libby
I had one heck of an awakening. You can let life crush you or you can choose to let it expand you. I chose to expand.Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and get to know me. My goal is to awaken, inspire, and empower others to live the life they love through awareness, acceptance, and forgiveness. This is how I have healed and built the life of my dreams. No one said it would be easy, but I am living proof that it is definitely worth the effort of personal development. Please follow me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Quora.
