Welcome to Chop Sale at Cool Mart

A trip to the supermarket took my sensory overload to a whole new level

Cool Mart glowed like a radioactive cubicle in the middle of the massive parking area. The glow got brighter and brighter as I walked across the parking lot.

There were lots of cars. That was never a good sign. I had forgotten the Chop Sale was on; of course, the supermarket was crowded.

I had put my earplugs in my ears already in the car. Too bad that my face mask didn’t cover my eyes from the blinding light.

I took a deep breath in and entered Cool Mart. The first store screamer, a young man with a megaphone, was standing right next to the entrance.

”Welcome to Cool Mart. The cool shopping experience for the whole family! Today, we have craaaazy offers at the Chop Sale! We’ve chopped the prices into half”, the man screamed into his megaphone.

The high volume made me shudder in genuine discomfort. Other customers entered the supermarket as if no one was screaming into their ears with a megaphone. They didn’t even wear earplugs.

“Let’s get this over with. Where’s the soy milk?” I thought as I checked my shopping list.

I had an actual written shopping list. Everybody else was checking their phones. I wondered if I was the only person on the planet who still wrote by hand. My handwriting was so bad that I could barely read it myself, but that didn’t bother me.

I found the soy milk and put it in my shopping cart.

Suddenly, a blinding spotlight shone into my face. A sharp pain pierced my head. I got dizzy.

“Hello, migraine,” I thought.

A mother with a screaming kid in a shopping cart passed by.

I had thought I would survive the shopping without wearing sunglasses. I had thought wrong. I grabbed sunglasses from my backpack and put them on. It was too bad that it was winter. Now everyone would think I was a shoplifter.

On my way to the fruit and vegetable department, I walked by the meat department.

“Fresh meat! Chopped prices!” The meat cutter at the meat counter yelled into a megaphone.

People pushed each other aside and rushed towards the meat counter.

I reached the fruit and vegetable department. I picked up a nice, big cucumber and placed it on the vegetable scale.

The scale made a high-pitched alarm sound and screamed:

“Cucumber. Price: 2,24!”

Of course, some kid was playing with one of the vegetable scales. The scale screamed over and over again:

“Banana. Error. Banana. Error.”

My head was about to explode. I escaped.

I was trying to decide which tomato sauce I should buy when someone with a microphone talked into my ear:

“Excuse me, ma’am.”

Great, it was a security guard. He was wearing a face mask, a helmet, and a bulletproof vest. He was holding an assault rifle, but he wasn’t pointing at me with it. I guess I didn’t look that dangerous.

“May I have a look inside your bag?” The guard asked.

The security guard had a microphone attached to a headset instead of a megaphone. I suppose he needed his hands to hold the assault rifle, so he couldn’t carry a megaphone.

“Sure”, I said.

The guard inspected my backpack.

“A wallet, a cellphone, and hearing protectors. Why do you have hearing protectors in your bag?” The guard asked.

“Well, I’m a little sensitive to loud noises”, I said.

“There are no loud noises here, ma’am. If you haven’t been to Afghanistan, don’t talk to me about loud noises!” The guard snarled, looking offended.

“Right.”

“And here we have some menstrual products, I assume. Are you menstruating at the moment, ma’am?” The guard hollered into his microphone while inspecting a sanitary napkin.

A group of unmasked teenagers passed by giggling and pointing at me.

“Yes”, I managed to reply.

“I’m sorry ma’am? Could you speak up, please?”

“Yes! Yes, I’m menstruating right now! I snapped.

“All righty! Thank you for your co-operation, and have a great day!”

Humiliated, I walked towards the intimate products. I happened to need some more sanitary napkins.

I deserved some chocolate now. In the candy department, an elderly lady was lying down on the floor. Other customers walked by as if she wasn’t there. I wanted to get out of Cool Mart as soon as possible, but I couldn’t just walk away.

“Um, are you OK, ma’am?” I asked the lady.

“Yes, yes! I wanted to sit down for a minute, but I couldn’t find a seat. So, I lay down for a while to rest my legs. I haven’t been quite as I used to be since my hip replacement, I’m afraid”, the lady said.

“OK, um. So, are you sure you’re going to be OK?”

“Yes, dear. I’ll just rest for a while and I will be alright.”

I felt a little uneasy leaving her lying on the floor. But at least I had asked if she was OK. What else could I do?

The torture tour in Cool Mart was almost finished. I only needed laundry detergent.

An employee was wearing a polar bear costume. That was Bargain Bear, the official mascot of Cool Mart. The polar bear was walking around the supermarket and screaming into a megaphone:

“Chop Sale! Chilling bargains all week long! Cool savings for the whole family!”

Customers rushed in the corridors like headless chickens. The spotlights flashed like fireworks. Now the lights were changing color from red to blue to green. It was like an insane disco.

I finally reached the corridor where the laundry detergents were sold. I found the eco-friendly laundry detergent I wanted. I placed it in my shopping cart and headed towards the cashier.

I was exhausted, but the nightmare would be over soon. I would get back to my car and drive home, leaving Cool Mart far behind.

I was walking in a corridor towards the cashier. It was strangely silent. I had a feeling that someone was following me. I turned around.

A lady in her 50s or 60s was walking with a shopping cart full of meat. She had curly hair and she was wearing a winter jacket. She also had a face mask. The position of her head looked strange. Her head was pointing to the side as if her neck was broken.

“Fresh meat! Chopped prices! Cool savings for the whole family!” The woman announced.

I started to walk faster and switched to running.

I reached the cashier. I was panting. It was noisy again. There were people all over the place, but the meat woman was gone.

The cashier announced the price of my groceries into a megaphone and I paid with a debit card. I walked to my car as fast as I could and packed my shopping bags into my car. My ears were ringing.

When I drove out of the parking lot, I could still hear the distant scream:

“Craaazy offers at the Chop Sale! The cool shopping experience for the whole family!”

If you want to support my work as an autistic advocate, you can buy me a coffee. Thank you. ☕