Wedding Belle Blues

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Abstract

rried — after the splendiferous occasion of attainment— calls for compromise as to not fighting about money, chores, in-laws, children. Good luck with that.Regarding children, the trend is to go ahead and have a few before committing to marriage — after all, such a solemn vow is not be taken lightly.This cavalier approach of letting the kids fall where they may, marriage or not, has its upside: If the parents do get married — that is, have a Wedding — sometime in the following ten years, the flower girl/ring-bearer is/are already in the house. If they wait another few years — bingo! — bridesmaid/best man.Today’s bass-ackwards “kids first” tradition butts boldly against the mores of last century. If your baby was born less than nine months post-nuptials — they counted, and there’d better be no more than one finger left over — then God help you. (If the louse wouldn’t ma

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rry you, you were beyond God’s help.)At an engagement party a few years ago, we guests got more of a surprise than did the not-soon-enough-to-be bride.Recovering her equanimity after the jolt of us all jumping at her, the non-blushing bride proudly announced her pregnancy. Suzanne quickly offered reassurance that The Wedding would take place as planned, with her six-week-old babe in arms.Six months later — mid-pregnancy/pre-Wedding — Suzanne made a reluctant confession to a select few. She and Paul had secretly married — in order for her to be covered by Paul’s employee health insurance. They didn’t want the wedding guests to know that they were already married, lest it deflate the drama of their Big Day.O, the irony! Heaven forbid that word gets out: The baby was born in wedlock. (Although before The Wedding.)</article></body>

To have and to hold?

Common lament of long-term unwed couples: We can’t afford to get married.

News Flash: What breaks the bank is not the marriage; it’s The Wedding.

For wannabe brides, to wed entails a Wedding — which, for 200 of her not-so nearest-and-dearest, will run twenty Gs, give or take ten.

But, hey, it’s your big day. Once-in-a-lifetime. (Let’s hope.) Getting married calls for celebration.

The state of being married — after the splendiferous occasion of attainment— calls for compromise as to not fighting about money, chores, in-laws, children. Good luck with that.

Regarding children, the trend is to go ahead and have a few before committing to marriage — after all, such a solemn vow is not be taken lightly.

This cavalier approach of letting the kids fall where they may, marriage or not, has its upside: If the parents do get married — that is, have a Wedding — sometime in the following ten years, the flower girl/ring-bearer is/are already in the house. If they wait another few years — bingo! — bridesmaid/best man.

Today’s bass-ackwards “kids first” tradition butts boldly against the mores of last century. If your baby was born less than nine months post-nuptials — they counted, and there’d better be no more than one finger left over — then God help you. (If the louse wouldn’t marry you, you were beyond God’s help.)

At an engagement party a few years ago, we guests got more of a surprise than did the not-soon-enough-to-be bride.

Recovering her equanimity after the jolt of us all jumping at her, the non-blushing bride proudly announced her pregnancy. Suzanne quickly offered reassurance that The Wedding would take place as planned, with her six-week-old babe in arms.

Six months later — mid-pregnancy/pre-Wedding — Suzanne made a reluctant confession to a select few. She and Paul had secretly married — in order for her to be covered by Paul’s employee health insurance. They didn’t want the wedding guests to know that they were already married, lest it deflate the drama of their Big Day.

O, the irony! Heaven forbid that word gets out: The baby was born in wedlock. (Although before The Wedding.)