Weave Your Life — Tales Of An Alcoholic

Summary

The author reflects on their complex relationship with their alcoholic father and how it has influenced their own struggle with alcohol, while attempting to balance their life with productivity and family.

Abstract

The narrative "Weave Your Life — Tales Of An Alcoholic" is a personal account that delves into the author's childhood realizations about their father's alcoholism and his subsequent death. The author grapples with the legacy of their father's wasted potential and his ability to provide insightful answers despite his addiction. In the wake of his passing, the author confronts the risk of following a similar path but strives to channel their energy into productive outlets such as parenting, relationships, work, and writing. The author acknowledges the temptation to justify their own drinking habits through productivity and societal norms, yet remains uncertain about the concept of "weaving" one's life, inviting readers to share their interpretations and advice.

Opinions

The author harbors mixed feelings towards their father, admiring his intelligence and storytelling abilities while resenting his squandered potential due to alcoholism.
There is a recognition of the fine line between using alcohol as a means to enhance productivity and falling into the trap of alcoholism, as seen in their father's life.
The author admits to drinking more often than they should and uses engagement in normal life activities (parenting, relationships, work) and writing on Medium as a way to justify their drinking habits.
The author questions societal norms and personal beliefs about alcohol consumption, suggesting that it's possible to be an alcoholic and still contribute positively to society.
There is an underlying tone of self-deception, as the author ponders whether they have successfully integrated drinking into a productive life or if they are in denial about their own alcohol use.
The author openly seeks advice and different perspectives on how to constructively "weave" one's life, implying a desire for change and self-improvement.

A short story on how to not

The first thing that truly impacted my childhood was the discovery that I had a father. The second one was finding out I don’t have a father anymore.

My father was a drunk, the type of drunk that knew all the answers, I used to sit with him and chat all night as I was asking him history questions while googling them, he knew the right answer to every question!

I was always mad at my father, mainly because of his wasted potential, he could’ve been a great writer, storyteller, even as a drunk man, I hate the idea that if you drink alcohol you’re automatically useless, and he was that kind of an alcoholic.

When he died I had to choose one path, I’m either going to fall in the same direction or do something more about it because I must admit, I do drink more often than I should. So I’ve been dedicating myself a lot more to my daughter, to my relationship, as much as I can to my job, and of course, recently, to medium and writing more, it feeds my productivity so much more since I am writing on medium, even if I have a beer or a glass of wine, writing while having that it makes me feel much more productive.

I went to the worst of bars hoping to get killed but all I could do was to get drunk again.

Charles Bukowski

Do you see how I justified my drinking with productivity? With normal behaviors one should have, such as, spending time with your child (which any normal father would do), being in a relationship, working (which, again, any decent man would do). Perhaps I’ve almost tricked you as well thinking drinking can be justified and can be good for your mental health.

Truth is, I have no idea what “weave” your life means, but what I do know that if you’re in a constant loop with everything you do, that’s not “weaving”.

How do you weave your life? I am sure your advice is much better than mine, lol!