Summary

The article provides personal insights and strategies for managing anxiety attacks, particularly in the context of political unrest and the pandemic.

Abstract

The author shares their experience with an unexpected anxiety attack triggered by reading about the political situation in their hometown, Hong Kong, and offers five tips for managing anxiety. These include identifying specific triggers, preparing oneself to engage with potentially anxiety-inducing content, facing and allowing anxiety to pass, letting go when there's nothing to be done, and engaging in activities like masturbation to relieve stress. The author emphasizes the importance of understanding one's triggers, controlling one's engagement with stressors, and practicing self-compassion to regain control over anxiety.

Opinions

The author believes that knowing specific anxiety triggers is crucial for managing attacks, as it transforms a vague sense of unease into something more concrete that can be addressed.
They suggest that controlling when to engage with stressful news allows for better emotional preparation and reduces the impact of anxiety.
The article advocates for a compassionate approach to anxiety, recommending that individuals temporarily surrender to the feeling rather than fighting it, which can paradoxically give them more control in the long run.
The author posits that when faced with situations beyond one's control, such as political events or the pandemic, it's beneficial to accept the feeling of helplessness and then refocus on aspects of life that can be controlled.
The author openly endorses masturbation as a healthy and effective method for stress relief, citing the release of oxytocin and the benefits of maintaining a healthy sexual appetite.
They recommend a philosophical approach to managing anxiety, drawing on Confucian philosophy to find balance and not hold onto control too tightly.
The author encourages readers to work with their anxiety rather than against it, suggesting that our minds are trying to protect us and deserve compassion.

We Won’t Know When Anxiety Will Suddenly Attack Us, but That Doesn’t Mean We Are Helpless

5 Tips to Tame the Monkey Mind I Have Tested and Worked

I probably shouldn’t have bought the latest Wired UK magazine.

Because it featured the democratic leader of my home town, Hong Kong. As of 3 December, Joshua Wong was arrested again.

China jailed Joshua Wong but the fight for Hong Kong is not over

Joshua Wong can feel his time running short. The 24-year-old student and icon of Hong Kong's pro-democracy movement is…

www.wired.co.uk

I didn’t expect it would actually cause an anxiety attack. I thought I would read the article, felt shit about it, and maybe cried. I even deliberately read the article in my bathtub, surrounded by lavender oil and scented candles.

But I was still ridden by anxiety. My heart sank and my breathing difficult.

Yet, I survived that night, and this morning, I wanted to tell you how this attack was very different from the ones I experienced in the past and why.

1. Pinpoint your triggers

Working with a therapist or journaling would help you to identify and summarise the triggers. I have a lot at the moment, from my hometown shitshow to the pandemic, and accumulated bereavement, work stress, childhood trauma.

Knowing a general idea is not enough, we have to pinpoint what exactly triggers your anxiety.

Take pandemic as an example, I was very anxious because British people weren’t wearing masks for a long time. So for the period between the first and the second lockdown, before cautious hygiene became a norm, I struggled to go outside.

When you pinpoint the triggers, the anxiety turns from a foggy mass to a visible mess. From there, you have the power.

2. Prep yourself, control the time

My trigger about the Hong Kong political situation is no different from the anxiety the US election has triggered on my American friends. The faff is non-ending, Trump is refusing to leave just like our fake head of Hong Kong Carrie Lam, albeit for very different reasons.

Poor policies and governance made me fearful. So I decided to only read the news when I was mentally prepared. I’m still reading the news because I don’t want to become people who talk about politics emotionally, we should know data and facts. But I have to prepare in my own head, rather than auto-pilot clicking on the Guardian newspaper app, or Medium for that matter.

This is why my anxiety attack was a lot less critical last night because I have put myself in my bathtub, my favorite thing on earth.

We don’t need to stay on top of everything all the time. We just need to know what we need to know when we need to know it. The power is in our hands.

3. Face the anxiety, allow it to take over

It’s weird to say that we are in control but then give up the control to anxiety. But it’s not. See, if we don’t know we have the power, then it wasn’t “giving up”, it was just pure manipulation by anxiety.

But if we know we have the power, but we voluntarily surrender to the anxiety feeling, knowing that we will have the ability to take the power back. The game’s changed.

My favorite anxiety self-help book — Don’t Feed the Monkey Mind — discussed the neurobiology of anxiety. The amygdala in our brain is feeling unsafe so it is overriding the rational head and calls for a fight or flight response.

So if we start trying to calm ourselves, or respond with fight or flight, we reaffirm the amygdala that its feeling is correct. Then our anxiety will only get worse.

What you need to do instead is to surrender to the anxiety by being compassionate to yourself. What I did after feeling anxious was that I left the bathtub, wrapped myself tight and warm, and I sat there will my feelings. I hugged myself very tight and I said to myself I understand and it’s ok.

4. when there’s nothing you can do, try to let go

The Hong Kong situation, just like the US election, is annoying because there’s nothing we can do as ordinary citizens. If Trump has to recalculate votes and sues people, only Biden, and the local states can do something about it. Most of us are just watching. It’s the same with the pandemic, apart from social distancing and wearing face masks, we can do nothing.

It’s this helplessness and impatience that makes us anxious. So for tip 3, we allow anxiety to be there for a brief moment, then we pick up our rational thoughts.

If there are things you can do now, do it. For example, I immediately texted my friends who are very active in the front line against the government to check their safety. But I apply tip 2 in this regard, as soon as it becomes too much, say I read too much news about Hong Kong, I consciously draw a line to take an indefinite break again.

When there’s nothing to do, try to continue living your everyday life healthily. So I made myself a cup of herbal tea and do tip 5.

Handling anxiety disorder for me is about regaining control, and how not to hold it too tightly. The skills to maintain balance is one of the big topics in Confucian philosophy (see Doctrine of the Mean). Focusing on mastering this technique, then interesting your focus will also shift from the anxious event to the philosophy, which also helps to tame your anxiety.

5. Masturbate (I know you didn’t see it coming!)

Sex/orgasm relieves stress because it releases oxytocin in your bloodstream. This is probably why sex historically is so important for men and it seems like no matter how busy a person is, they still have time for a quickie (cue Rudy).

I won’t have sex with just anyone to relieve my stress (and given we are social distancing, it’s not that easy to just have a one-night-stand), so I discovered masturbation.

When anxiety was so overwhelming, our sex drive can totally disappear. But after I have learned more about myself, took the time to identify triggers, discussed with the therapist about my past, etc, I began to come back to it.

It’s a healthy thing to have a healthy sexual appetite, I don’t think there’s any shame for saying it. Equally, if you are alone in your home during this period, masturbate is probably the best thing to keep you happy. It is free, safe, hygienic, private, and fun.

So after I regained my strength and control, I drank my herbal tea, masturbated, and slept.

Life is hard enough and anxiety doesn’t help. I recommend reading the book so we stop hating our mind’s craziness but to treat it with compassion, they are trying to protect us. Work with the anxiety, not against it. Boost our mood with healthy life habits including masturbation.

It’s an art to master your mind and remember that your mind is not you.