WRITING PROMPT | DREAMS KILL FEARS

We Won!

With determination, it’s possible to beat the monsters

I can’t believe I’m finally writing these words, but Rui Alves’s most recent prompt of “Dreams Kill Fears” has provided the perfect sentiment for today and I just can’t help myself.

My daughter won her grievance against her university.

Without going into the sordid details, months ago, my daughter got unceremoniously kicked out of her graduate program after a year of persecution, gaslighting, and accusations. She had been picked out for elimination for no damn reason by a mean, narcissistic monster/instructor.

After working through the university’s appeals process and coming up short, we hired an attorney and fired opening shots a few months ago. After delays and a bunch of hem-hawing around on the university’s part, we finally got the news that our appeal was successful.

OK, OK, it’s not completely codified and wrapped up in a neat little bow, but we have an initial, favorable settlement offer. While not stating it outright, the university admits there was a problem and has made an offer to rectify the situation.

I have been doing a happy dance for days and still can’t stop myself.

The process, though, was grueling, and the fear of losing our case almost got the better of us. The university’s delays coupled with the monster/instructor’s superior gamesmanship, caused us to gaslight ourselves into believing that there was no possible way we could win.

My daughter worried that she’d not been specific enough with the information she gave. She was afraid she didn’t give everyone adequate documentation of the harassment.

She openly expressed that maybe she wasn’t good enough and should probably relinquish her dream of obtaining her Master’s Degree. Retelling and reliving her story for lawyers and university officials left her despondent and afraid for her future.

For my part, I worried that the money I’d spent on an attorney would be wasted and that I’d somehow provided lousy advice to my kid. Who was I to make her think this would all turn out OK?

Fear caused us to believe we were no more than dirt on the bottom of someone’s shoe. And, in the interests of preserving our mental health, we actually wondered if we should just take our lumps and move on.

But, we couldn’t let fear win. As exhausting as it was, we had to suck it up and continue talking, badgering, documenting, and asking questions. The money spent on the attorney was sunk, so we might as well continue the battle.

Through it all, we kept going back to the timeline of events that got us here. Rehashing what happened allowed us to believe that we had a case. We hoped that good, reasonable people would judge for themselves what actually happened, and that we’d come out on top.

I’ve always held the belief that all narcissists lose in the end. It may take years, but experience has taught me that they eventually allow their egos to get in the way, causing them to make stupid mistakes like leaving discoverable breadcrumbs in emails and audio files.

Which is, I think, exactly what happened in our case.

All I know is that my kid will be OK. She can finish what she started at another university now. Her hopes and dreams have been restored.

Fear is a nasty little bitch sulking in the corner, undeserving of the attention it usually gets. It sounds trite, but fighting through it is the only way to achieve any dream.

If fear is getting in your way, write about it. Visualize your dream. Talk about it. And, please know that I, for one, am in your corner.