avatarToni Crowe

Summary

The author reflects on their childhood misadventures and the disciplinary measures their mother took to keep them in line, acknowledging the challenges their mother faced raising them.

Abstract

The article is a personal reflection on the author's childhood and the challenges their mother faced while raising six children. The author recounts humorous yet troublesome pranks they played as children, such as placing a garter snake in a sister's panties and faking a penile injury with shaving cream and ketchup, which led to emergency services being called. These incidents resulted in strict discipline from their mother, including timed spankings with a belt and additional chores. The author remembers their mother's tough love and the lessons learned from these experiences, emphasizing the impact of their mother's discipline on their behavior. The piece concludes with the author expressing gratitude for their mother's dedication and the understanding that her actions, though harsh at times, were necessary to prevent future misbehavior.

Opinions

  • The author initially found their childhood pranks amusing but later recognized the burden they placed on their mother.
  • The mother's disciplinary actions, though severe, were seen as effective in teaching the children respect and responsibility.
  • The author believes that their mother's hard work and the sacrifices she made for her children were not fully appreciated until later in life.
  • The article suggests that the mother's discipline, while physically and emotionally painful, was a form of love and care that ultimately benefited the children.
  • The author implies that the fear of their mother having to leave work due to their actions was a strong deterrent against future misbehavior.
  • Reflecting on their mother's birthday, the author conveys a deep sense of respect and a retrospective understanding of the challenges their mother faced.

Family

We Were Terrible Children, We Are Lucky Mom Didn’t Kill Us All

Remembering my dead mom on her birthday

Photo by Shelagh Murphy: https://www.pexels.com/photo/group-photo-of-a-children-2883380/

My mom’s birthday is this month. Thinking about my mother, I remember most that I had no clue how hard she had it raising six bad little children. Not only did she have to provide us with food, clothing, and shelter, she had to contend that we kids did something whenever she went out to work. Once the youngest went to full-time school, I became the after-school babysitter because no one wanted to babysit us. We were bad as hell.

Once, my brother found a garter snake outside. My bravest sister slipped the reptile into her panties and called the babysitter to help her. I remember how funny it was when that girl ran out of the bathroom screaming, grabbed her coat and stuff, and ran out of our house. We laughed and laughed. It was the funniest prank ever — until my mom came home.

When mom found out what we had done, she set the stove timer, pulled out a thin coat belt, and whipped everyone’s butt from oldest (me) to youngest (the four-year-old with the snake in her pants) until the timer dinged. It felt like she set it for at least an hour. Yes, I knew about the snake. I thought it was funny, too.

Another time, my brother got my dad’s shaving cream and put it in his mouth. Next, he got some ketchup and pretended he had caught his penis in the zipper of his pants. He started rolling around on the floor, spitting the shaving cream out and rubbing his pants where he had put the ketchup on his fly. The babysitter flew to the phone and, before we could stop her, called 911.

When the paramedics arrived, they found out about the prank, laughed with us, patted my brother on the head, and left. The problem was that someone called my mom and told her the police and paramedics were at her house. We are confident it was one of our neighbors who turned us in. Ma left work to come home to her children. When she got home, there was hell to pay.

She set again the timer. This time it was not a coat belt but a big wide leather belt that was the weapon of ass destruction. We also had to pull our pants down. Mom gave this whipping with the special spanking talk, one word per lick cadence. “Don’t–you — ever — make — me — have — to — leave — work — again. I — work–too — hard — for — your–dumb — asses — to — act - like- heathens. So — em-bar-ras-sing.”

Once the spankings were completed, we had to strip and clean all the beds, mop the floors, and dust the house with our asses still red from the metering out of punishment. We were so tired when we went to bed that night that our hurting asses did not keep us awake.

From then on, whenever we thought about doing something unusual, one of us would say: “Will this make Mom come home if she hears about what we want to do?” If the answer was yes, we would not do that, no matter how much fun it might be.

Trust me. We never made Ma leave work again because of our foolishness. When my mom made a point with her kids, we understood the assignment.

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Family
Motherhood
Parenting
This Happened To Me
Humor
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