We Try to Find Escape Routes but Get Trapped in them…
“Improve”, not “escape” is the Answer
When we identify the difference between “What is” and “What ought to be”, the first thing that we do is to think about changing our situation.
That is when we realise the need of change.
Taking some decisions or just resolutions and then trying to act on them come as the next step.
Though change is always intended for getting better but the way it is strived actually defines the outcome.
Complicated, huh? Let’s break it down.
Whatever decision we take and whatever we want to do serves a purpose, and that is “making things better”.
But why things get worsening even if we are always trying to improve them?
The problem is ,whenever we feel the need of change, we, instead of seeking improvement, go for the escape routes.
Yeah. Escape routes, the common response of human brain to difficult situations.
Let me give you some examples…
You are dissatisfied with a relation? You break up… You become even more dissatisfied.
Purpose not served.
You get into a new relationship. Still you are not getting what you wanted.And eventually, this dissatisfaction spreads to the other aspects of your life.
Or
You make a new friend in the hope of finding a true friendship.
That friendship eventually becomes a liability and you have added another reason of stress into your life while seeking for a positive change.
Or
You change your career path, shift from Business to Job or vice versa. Become more dissatisfied with the situation.Get even more hopeless about things or people.
But why does it happen? Why we find ourselves at a worse place while struggling to get better?
Let’s try to understand this. Have you ever used a gun, in case.
The gun and the bullet is under your control unless you pull the trigger.Once you have pull the trigger, you don’t know where the bullet strikes.
Now, you can say that you have seen people with a very accurate target. But do you know, these people have a lot of practice and struggle behind it.
Yes. That is the point. That is what I want you to understand.
The people who pull the trigger without practicing and accuracy, just fall on the escape routes.
While the people, who calculate each and every step of them, find themselves on the way of improvement.
Isn’t it that simple?
This is the difference between good change or bad change. Escaping is largely influenced by the external factors. And the only answer to it is facing your inner-self before going for a change.
In the above example, you were supposed to heal the relationship first, and if breaking up was inevitable, then healing yourself afterwards before going into any other relationship.
You wanted to add value to your life by making new friends, so you have to set the values and boundaries of your friendship.
You wanted to change the career path, You had to make sane choices by understanding your inner voice.
But the problem is that we take these decisions under the influence of emotions.
Escape routes are usually chosen in the response of distress, when we quickly want to change the circumstances. When things seem too difficult, that one hasty decision overrules all our sanity.
But the journey of improvement starts from your inner-self. The day when you get in a relationship or career after truly understanding yourself.
Last but not the least, next time before taking any decision, remember if it starts from inside you, it will be your journey to improvement, otherwise find yourself on the escape routes trapping you even more.