We Trans Women Are Tougher Than We Look
Fight like a girl
One of the sad things for transgender women is the general perception that we are wimps. It is so pervasive that we actually start believing that we actually are.
Well, we are not!
Society and the emotional weakness inherent in gender dysphoria forces us to become so self-critical that many of us contemplate suicide and, sadly, too many succeed.
This must stop!
On my transgender journey I have experienced the most wonderful collection of caring, giving and totally unselfish people that I have ever had the honor to know in a long lifetime. No one sees our battle scars. They are deep but they heal. We are constantly attacked but we know who our enemies are now and we refuse them the dark joy of tearing us down.
We are tough.
For most of my life I was divided from this community. We all were. Society followed the old Roman war maxim; “Divide and Conquer” and we were very divided. Many of us, for the first time, now realize that we are part of a much larger community. According to recent estimates, there are 2,000,000 transgender people in the United States. To put that in perspective that is more people than live in:
Phoenix Arizona 1,733,630
Philadelphia Pennsylvania 1,585,010
San Antonio Texas 1,581,730
San Diego California 1,427,720
Dallas Texas 1,347,120 1,200,350
Austin Texas 1,011,790 806,164
San Jose California 1,009,340
Fort Worth Texas 942,323
Jacksonville Florida 929,647
Columbus Ohio 913,921
Charlotte North Carolina 912,096
Indianapolis Indiana 887,232
San Francisco California 883,255
Seattle Washington 776,555
Denver Colorado 749,103
Washington D.C. 714,153
Boston Massachusetts 695,506
Here’s the list: https://worldpopulationreview.com/us-cities. It shows that out of 200 cities in the United States, there are only 4 cities with a greater population than our community.
Makes you pause, huh?
Maybe we should all get together and start our own city. It would be filled with people who care and really share on an amazing level. We could all go out to eat and not look over our shoulders. We would get unbiased support from the professional and city services. We could just be us without the nasty transgender judgements we contend with now. Of course, being human, we would still be judgmental, but in a much more gentle, less life-threatening way.
That would be great but, since that won’t happen, let’s just know that we are not alone any more. Let’s stop being afraid, of ourselves, our families, our friends and the society around us. They all need to know that we are a tough and loving people.
We want nothing from anyone other than what everyone already has, to be treated as a normal person, with all the strengths and weakness that includes.
We are!
Emma Holiday
Thank you for reading my work.
Please also read:
Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.
My writing has three specific goals:
1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.
2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.
3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.
