We Need to Start Talking About Mental Health

Addressing the issue, one conversation at a time

Growing up, I had a friend named, Kyle. He was a troubled genius who nobody paid much attention to. He was my best friend.

We grew up in the 90s and early 2000s. It was a time where mental health wasn’t talked about, even more so than today.

So, when Kyle took his life, it was a shock to everyone.

Back then, the stigma surrounding mental health was all too real, especially amongst teenagers just wanting to have fun.

We knew it existed; we just didn’t talk about it.

Why didn’t we talk about it.

We experimented a lot with drugs and alcohol back then. It was something we thought we did for fun, something we thought was “cool”.

But what we didn’t realize is that we did it to cover up our struggles with mental health — we did it because we didn’t want to talk about what was really going on with us.

Sure, we knew that depression and anxiety existed. Half our friends were prescribed Xanax and some sort of anti-depressant.

But we didn’t talk about why we needed them; it was too depressing. And we didn’t talk about what we were feeling; it was too hard to explain.

So, we used drugs and alcohol to cover up the things we didn’t want to talk about — we used them to escape.

But eventually, the underlying symptoms began to surface.

The signs were there. Kyle wasn’t feeling well. A lot of us weren’t. But it was Kyle’s death that hit me the hardest. It was something that could have been prevented if we just paid more attention — if we just talked about it and listened.

We didn’t know it back then but the reason we didn’t talk about it was because we didn’t really know what we were supposed to be talking about — we weren’t properly educated about mental health.

What is mental health?

The World Health Organization (WHO) defines mental health as “a state of well-being in which an individual realizes [their] own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to [their] community.”

There are so many factors that come into play that affects our mental health. According to an article on psychcentral.com, these factors include:

• biological factors (e.g., genetics, hormones, chemicals)
• where you live
• your job and finances
• physical health problems
• mental health conditions
• learning disabilities
• how you were raised
• trauma and abuse
• social and human rights injustices
• previous and current relationships
• other life experiences

With so many stressors in the world today, it’s no wonder more and more people are struggling with their mental health. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that tens of millions of people are affected each year.

So, why aren’t we talking about it?

The reason we don’t talk about mental health is that we don’t really know how to talk about the brain and how it relates to daily life. It’s a complex organ that we are still trying to figure out, let alone get millions of people to understand the complex inner workings of it.

Not only that, but everyone who struggles with mental health is different. Therefore, the experiences we attribute to mental health don’t fit into a neat little box we can understand and convey to others easily.

But we all have brains, and therefore we all have mental health. And yet, we still shudder to talk about it. We still want to brush it under the rug and hope it goes away.

But that’s not how it works — that’s not how we get better.

We need to talk about it.

My own struggles with mental health.

I’ve been living with bipolar disorder for seventeen years, and it’s only now that I’ve had the courage to speak about it.

It’s been a long and lonely road living in the dark all these years — nobody seems to understand what I’m going through. Even my parents have a hard time coming to grips with the severity of my illness. Because of this, I’ve had to resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms: drugs, alcohol, isolation.

But the one thing I’ve learned all these years is that this isn’t the way to deal with my mental health. It’s not healthy to drink until you fall asleep. It’s not healthy to smoke weed every day to get you to baseline. It’s not healthy to sit in your room, in the dark, trying to wish away the pain.

You need to talk about it; you need to ask for help.

Why we need to talk about it.

Leading up to Kyle’s death, there were signs that he wasn’t doing well. He was withdrawn, quiet, and angry because the world was so unkind. He was angry because he couldn’t ask for help. Nobody wanted to listen or understand his pain, so he left the world behind.

But it could’ve been prevented; this is the reason we need to talk about mental health.

We need to understand that people are struggling and that the mental health crisis we find ourselves in isn’t going away. We can’t just sweep it under the rug; we need to address the stigma.

It’s only when we talk about it that we can start to heal.

It’s only when we talk about it that we begin to understand what’s really going on.

It’s only when we talk about it that we find hope in the darkness.

As a society, I believe it’s our duty to help those in the dark. It’s our duty to address the problems that continue to affect millions of us. It’s our duty to help our sons, daughters, mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters and friends who are struggling.

And isn’t that what we all want?

Don’t we all want to heal from the stress and collective trauma of the past few years?

Don’t we all want to live normal and healthy lives, supported by our loved ones and those around us?

Don’t we all want to live in a world that’s kind?

I know I do.

But first, we must address the stigma and let people know they are not alone — that it’s okay not to be okay.

Because nobody can get through this alone.

And nobody should have to.

Ryan Dimalanta is a father, husband, freelance writer and mental health advocate.

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