Touch a Heart Today

A Personal Essay

In Sanskrit, it is called ‘Aham.’ It is the first person singular and means ‘I.’ By association, the noun ‘ahambhav’ is the feeling of ‘I, as a person.’

But ‘ahambhav’ means more, much more than that. It also refers to pride, vanity, and arrogance. Being castigated as a person with ‘ahambhav’ was considered the pits. That wasn't good when one is so full of oneself that one loses all notions of humility.

Growing up as a child and girl, when my parents called me ‘ahambhaavi,’ it was the worst chastisement they could come up with, and it made me instantly shrink to the size of a pea. And then some.

“It is not always about you,” they used to say sternly, “ there are always others in the equation.”

That stuck with me all my life. Sometimes, this lesson inspired me to go out of my way to do things for others, even for those who patently didn’t deserve either help or charity. But age, wisdom, and experience taught me the difference between self-respect and selfishness.

“When I was at school my jography told as th’ world was shaped like a orange an’ I found out before I was ten that th’ whole orange doesn’t belong to nobody. No one owns more than his bit of a quarter an’ there’s times it seems like there’s not enow quarters to go round. But don’t you — none o’ you — think as you own th’ whole orange or you’ll find out you’re mistaken, an’ you won’t find it out without hard knocks.” ― Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden

These words are the sharpest squashers of both arrogance and entitlement. Written in 1911, The Secret Garden is a wholesome, much-loved children’s book about faith, values, and common sense. The above quote is one of many the book abounds with.

Whenever someone states that they are ‘self made,’ it is an excellent expression of self-confidence and assertiveness. It speaks of a sense of self-worth that many people never arrive at in a lifetime.

But how many people must have lent a hand in the journey of achieving that status? Contributed a word of encouragement? Lent an ear when life became overwhelming—touched your heart with a gesture? Allowed you to rant when you needed to? Taught you value systems that propped you up when there were no other means of support? Or give you that one coin you could multiply into many?

We do not exist in a vacuum. We need each other. How many of us would write or post on this, or any other platform, if there was no one to read what we have noted, commented about our words, or encouraged us in some way or the other?

However much we believe we are writing only for ourselves, doesn’t the unexpected tag, mention, or comment by other writers create a spark in us that encourages us to write more and write better? Doesn’t being featured in the comprehensive and eclectic list of ‘Illumination Amplifier,’ or Margie Willis’s ‘Pure Awesomeness Lists,’ or Sahil Patel’s ‘Reciprocal,’ or as a shoutout by any other writer inspire us anew?

As human beings, we need each other.

As countries and other geographical entities, we must support each other, however strong we are militarily or economically. The world has become smaller in every sense of the word.

But how many countries believe the myth they are ‘self-made’ and that they are the ‘greatest’?

Or used to?

ⓒ 2022 Suma Narayan. All Rights Reserved.