“We Love Each Other but We Fight All the Time”

How to see if you’re truly meant for each other.

Fights and arguments are something you can’t avoid when you’re in a committed relationship. You sure do love each other, but when you find yourself always fighting with your partner, you can’t truly say what you currently have is healthy.

I’ve got neighbors in the past where they were bickering at each other almost every day. When people ask what’s the fights about, they don’t really know. It’s always small things that escalate into big arguments.

However, on some days, I also saw them getting along so well and very much looking in love with each other. It showed in their eyes. They think their everyday fights are normal.

“As long as I don’t find him cheating or abusing me, then I think we should be good,” — she said.

Though I’d disagree with her statement, it’s still inspiring how they still want to make the relationship work, despite their difference in almost everything. I’m sure deep down they knew they weren’t truly compatible, yet they always found a way to stay put.

Relationships like this can get tricky along the way. Why? Because you never knew if it’s truly working or you force it to work.

However, when you’re still new in the dating world, I highly suggest reevaluating your relationship when the fights happen a lot because there’s no such thing as black and white in a relationship.

Just because the person you’re currently dating is your first love, that doesn’t mean you let yourself go crazy trying to make it work.

Take a step back and go to the root of the problem.

When the fight happens over and over again, the first thing you need to do is to stop and analyze what’s the fight truly about.

Do you guys fight about the same thing? What triggers both of you to start an argument? Is there something you hide from your partner?

Most times, the fight happens when you feel like your partner doesn’t appreciate or love you the way you want it. They ignore your feelings, and you don’t care enough to tell them.

So that eventually escalates to other things. That’s why you’d see people fight over small things, such as who’s picking up the laundry, but the real problem might be the girl who wants some help from her boyfriend around the house.

I noticed this too in my relationship. Sometimes I could have a full week of silly fights with my boyfriend. What we argued was pretty much about random things, but the root of the problem is always deeper than that.

So talk it out to your partner to see if you both can come up with a conclusion. And for the time being, whenever you’re triggered to argue, take a pause button and reconnect later when you feel better.

If you still want to make it work, you have to compromise.

Once you see the root of the problem, it’s now up to you whether you want to make it work or not. With all of those incompatibilities factors, you most likely have a bigger picture already of what life would look like with them in the future.

I don’t see it’s an impossible thing to do. Even people with a cheating history are still able to change their relationship for the better.

However, it’s also important to keep in mind that just because you’re now keen to go all in and fix it, that doesn’t mean your partner would do the same thing. That’s why you have to make sure if they’re also on the same page with you because the last thing you want to happen is going solo on this new mission.

If you don’t, accept that they aren’t the right person for you and come to terms with it.

This will be the hardest thing to do — letting go of someone you still love so much.

But quitting a relationship you knew was going nowhere isn’t always a bad thing.

You’ve done your best. Maybe you even tried to make it work, but the fight still occurs on a daily basis. It drains your energy, and you don’t know if you’ll ever be in a healthy, loving relationship.

But here’s the interesting part.

You probably heard those stories of couples who broke up because they think they aren’t just right for each other, and they end up happier. So try to look at this perspective instead.

I’ve met couples who thought that person they fought every day with was the “one.” They did it because they loved each other so much until they realized the relationship turned toxic, and they lost themselves. So when they decided to call it to quit, it’s the best favor they did for each other.

The world doesn’t end just because you let them go. You set both of you free for a happier life. Because at the end of the day, why stay in a relationship that makes us suffer emotionally and mentally all the time?

Do you think it’s worth it? ’Cause I think you do deserve better.

Hi! I write about all things that you might struggle with within your love life. My main goal is to make you less alone in the process. If you resonate with my stories, stay in tune by becoming a Medium member here.:)