Summary

The article discusses the challenges of modern society, emphasizing the importance of resilience, hard work, and embracing discomfort as a path to personal growth and success.

Abstract

The author argues that the current generation tends to avoid failure and pain, mistakenly equating them with negativity, while seeking pleasure and success as the only positive outcomes. However, the article suggests that every life event is neutral and presents an opportunity for learning and self-improvement. It encourages readers to build mental fortitude, akin to physical calluses, by facing challenges head-on rather than seeking easy solutions. The piece also criticizes society's over-reliance on technology, which has led to laziness, impatience, and entitlement. Instead of quitting in the face of difficulty, the author advocates for hard work, dedication, and the use of healthy coping mechanisms, such as mindfulness and seeking support, to overcome adversity and develop mental resilience.

Opinions

The author believes that today's society is too soft and needs to change its perspective on what constitutes true success.
They criticize the ease with which people attach their self-worth to external achievements and the tendency to quit when faced with challenges.
The article suggests that technology has contributed to a culture of laziness and entitlement, making people less willing to put in effort.
It posits that mistakes and criticism are not reflections of one's worth but rather necessary steps towards growth and improvement.
The author emphasizes the importance of hard work, dedication, and embracing the learning opportunities presented by failures.
They recommend practical tools such as pros and cons lists, seeking help, taking timeouts, and practicing mindfulness to manage difficult situations.
The author expresses a desire for individuals to summon courage, show leadership, and face adversity without giving up, thereby becoming more mentally resilient.

We Live In A Softened Generation

We Can Not Keep Looking For The Easy Way Out

You have to build calluses on your brain just like how you build calluses on your hands. Callus your mind through pain and suffering. — David Goggins

Today’s society appears to think that failure and loss are unacceptable. They are taking to heart, when they do not succeed. People tend to attach that to their “self” and “who they are.” When that happens, they can begin to feel that they are not good enough to succeed in life.

People have been taught to seek pleasure and avoid pain. Today’s generation has been taught failure and losses are “bad.” Whereas successes and fortune are “good.”

But here’s the thing

Bad does not equal pain and good does not equal pleasure.

Every event in life is neither good nor bad.

It is how that event is perceived.

Every event that occurs in life is neutral, and an opportunity to learn something new. Something that can improve who we are as an individual. When a perceived mistake is made, it does not mean we are horrible people or suck at being human. It is a learning experience.

Mistakes mean we are trying.

Moreover, what matters is how we respond to the mistakes and criticism. It has become too easy to attach our self-worth to external achievements. Looking at every event as neutral, and removing the emotional attachment to the situation is one of many stoic approaches that helps with this mindset. Instead of pushing through, remaining resilient, it is easy to just quit and walk away.

This is too tough, it is not for me. I can’t do that.

Or…

I must not be good at this, I‘ll do something else.

Just because something is difficult, does not mean it should not be completed or accomplished. Newsflash, nothing easy in life is worthwhile. In fact, everything is a challenge. Great things take time.

You want a loving relationship?

That next promotion at your job?

Become the next Michael Jordan or Tiger Woods?

This is what it takes…

Hard Work
Dedication
Mistakes
Growth

Today’s generation needs to shift their perspective the meaning of true success. Stop being so soft.

Easy Choices, Hard Life… Hard Choices, Easy Life — Jerzy Gregorek

Here is what Technology has done…

Technology has made things easier, yet more complicated. Millions of people use Google or YouTube. It is all at our fingertips. But society has become lazy, impatient and entitled through the changes with technology. We can’t be bothered to put in more effort. We do enough just to get by. Technology has become a crutch for us as a society. It has enabled this sort of culture.

You are bored, sad or depressed?

Doom scrolling through social media

You are lonely?

Swipe right to talk to strangers

You are angry at work?

Send a bitter (likely unhelpful) text or email to your boss

I am not exempt from wanting to quit. For instance; dating has been difficult for me honestly. I have noticed that my anxious thoughts have made it challenging to connect fully with other women. I notice my thoughts as they arise, but instead of being able to let the anxiety go or move past it, I get quiet or unable to think of what to say next. I have become frustrated with both myself and have thought about giving up on meeting people. However, what good would that do long term?

Healthy Tools for when we feel like throwing in the towel

What matters is our ability to utilize proper techniques like;

Pros and cons lists
Seeking help or support from loved ones
Taking a time out/time to ourselves
Deep breaths or mindfulness/meditation

A Pros and Cons list gives us a physical or visual representation of the current concern. It gets any thoughts out on paper and helps with problem solving and gets those thoughts organized.

Asking for help brings in a fresh perspective on the issue. When we are emotional, the amygdala is in control for that moment. Our pre-frontal cortex cannot do its job (critical thinking,) so our decision making as well as problem solving abilities are greatly affected. Bringing in a trusted friend or family member, gives us the ability to make better decisions (and quiet our amygdala.)

Taking a time out is not just for children. Time outs for ourselves are an exceptional tool when we are in stressful situations. As long as it is safe to do so. Life can be very challenging and draining for people. We all inevitably will come across issues and even crises that will require our best selves. If possible, taking time to ourselves allows for the parasympathetic nervous system to take control. Lowering the heart rate, breathing is deeper, muscles relax, circulation normalizes and pupils begin to widen.

Mindfulness/Meditation practices gives us the ability to face adversity with a clearer mind, and less emotional reactivity. So instead of giving up so easily, we can notice how we are feeling without being attached to the activating event. For example, a student gets an undesirable grade in a math class. With a mindfulness practice, he can see it as a neutral situation and respond appropriately. As opposed to becoming so upset, dropping the class and thinking that

“I have never been good at math.”

We will always have the physiological response of the sympathetic nervous system. It is what keeps us alive. However, with these tools, we are able to lessen the knee jerk, immediate reactions in life. I believe with these tools above, today’s generation and those following can become more mentally resilient and choose to push through when called upon. Be bold and brave, knowing that they will survive.

There is a quote by Ryan Holiday in his book called Courage Is Calling.

Let us not wait for other people to come to us and call upon us to do great deeds. Let us instead be the first to summon the rest of the path of honor. Show yourself to be the bravest of all the captains, with more of a right to leadership than those who are leaders at present. -Xenophon

Let's choose to be courageous in life, and face adversity without Giving up. Choose to grow from the experience, not shy away.

I am tired of how soft people have become. Time for hard work. Time for grit. Especially, time for growth.

Thanks for reading! Hope To connect with you.

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