We Grieved Together, But Not For The Same Person.
I once heard that even though two children grow up in the same home, they have different parents. We build bonds in different spaces, times, and mindsets. No two relationships the same. I find this to be so relevant to grieving a loved one.
Have you ever thought about how losing a loved one, is like losing a different person to everyone? Even though they are the same being, they have different impacts on us. The person you know, isn’t the same that everyone else knows. The bonds made are of different strands, even if they all lead back to the same person.
When we lost my dad, it was clear that we were all grieving a different person.
I knew my dad as my best friend. From day one, we were a team. He was the person I called for every little thing. I could always count on him to tell me the panful truth. Pick me up 450 miles away on the drop of a dime. To be my road dog no matter what.
My husband knew him as the only father he had left. The man he asked how to change this or that. Built random green houses with. Who he went to when he needed guidance on a big decision. The man he looked up to and taught him to always do what’s right.
My mother knew him as her one true love. The one who came back after all those years. The one she fell asleep next to and woke up to everyday. The rational voice when she was about to blow her lid. Her confidant. Her stability in life. Her everything.
My sister knew him as the man who hung the moon. He could do no wrong in her eyes, and frankly I never seen him do any wrong. The one she asked when mom said “no”. The man who came into her life and stepped up when he didn’t have to. Who she knew would never fail her.
This isn’t to say we don’t grieve them more or less than one another. Its to say that even though we lost the same person, we all grieve different parts of our hearts. He was a best friend, a dad, a husband, a hero, and so much more to many others.
We all learned to move on without a different person.