The Pursuit of Being Fully Alive

We Don’t Swing That Way

Getting a pulse on swingers and polyamory from a naturist perspective

At the end of the day, I simply want a place to soak up Vitamin D. I simply wish that those seeking that in a sexually-charged environment would own up to that part of the equation and pursue such pleasures in places where that is in the stated code of etiquette.

I have a story on MEDIUM that I wrote about two months ago that suddenly started performing really well a few days ago. It’s called 9 “Nakation” Destinations for Dubious Newbies. Since writing about naturist travel is my main squeeze on this platform, I thought I would make recommendations of places we’ve visited over the years that would likely feel comfortable to people trying out the clothing-optional thing for the first time.

The story got a fair amount of traffic right out of the gate, then like most pieces, it pretty much flat-lined — until about a week ago. Then BOOM! It’s been getting between 200 and 300 hits a day! Yippee!

So, I looked at the stats. What has spawned the sudden interest amongst my readers in my nakation recommendations? Loads of clicks from Facebook and Twitter.

Facebook sort of makes sense. I have a page there where I list all my stories as I publish them, and our world-famous naturist friends, Nick and Lins shared my story on their page as well. They’ve pretty much visited every naked place in the world, so an endorsement from them is certainly going to boost my ratings. (Thanks Nick and Lins!)

But while I have a Twitter account, I don’t have many followers there and it seems people rarely click through when I post a story on that platform. But when somebody else publishes a link to my story from their Twitter feed — say, for example, a swinger couple that has a following in the tens of thousands — BINGO!

Let the saints come marching in!

Swingers and Naturists: The War of the Roses!

The ongoing saga of the relationship — or lack thereof — between Swingers and Naturists is a long and tangly one, dating back a hundred years or so to the emergence of naturism in Germany and France. Nowhere, today, is this clash more pronounced than in the story of Cap d’Adge, also known as France’s Naked City.

In fact, when we tell people that we love going to France in the summer to enjoy the amazing opportunities for naturism, the most common follow-up question is “Oh! Do you go to that place where you can do your shopping and banking naked? What’s it called? Cap Dawg!?”

We usually smile politely and say, “Nah. We don’t swing that way.”

At its inception in the 1970s, Cap d’Adge was to be the Naturist Mecca of the world, with huge apartment complexes and myriad shops and restaurants lining the windy plains near the Mediterranean Sea. By that time, France had well established itself as the naturist capital of the world, and for local civic leaders, this seemed like an opportunity to turn an otherwise lackluster stretch of coastline into a tourist gold-mine. Loads of French, Germans, and Hollanders were seeking places to get naked each summer by the sea, and the idea of a whole city seemed almost too good to be true.

Turns out, it was.

Today, Cap d’Adge is somewhat frowned upon by much of the French naturist community as it has gradually evolved into the sex capital of Europe, replete with renowned nightclubs for libertines — the French word for swinger — and an infamous beach scene where literally anything goes, especially at dusk on the eastern stretch of the shore.

Turns out that the local officials were only partially correct when they laid out the plans for this Naked Nirvana by the sea. Indeed, there were plenty of people willing to make the trek to get naked, but way more people who were looking to spice things up a bit in hopes of finding new friends with benefits.

NEWSFLASH: Sex sells!

And the buyers are a-plenty! Today, Cap d’Agde is teeming with open-minded folk who are not only seeking Vitamin D, but packing their duffel bags with copious amounts of Vitamin E — not to mention Viagra.

Before I go on, if you’re a swinger and have made it this far into my story, I need to throw out a disclaimer:

My wife and I have been married nearly 38 years and are most certainly monogamous. Early on that was largely predicated on our religious convictions, along with some pretty intense familial indoctrination that began with the prohibition of sex before marriage and ended with… well, never.

We’re less religious than we once were, but decided long ago that monogamy was going to be our brand. But as naturists, we’ve met plenty of folks along the way who have chosen other paths — people who frequent places where open sex is condoned or even encouraged.

Hooray for them. That’s simply not our scene.

That said, there are plenty of people who place us on the heathen scale simply due to our proclivity for splashing in the surf with nothing but the radio on.

“How dare we go about exposing breasts and buttocks when there may well be children in proximity. What?!? YOUR children were in proximity? And they were naked too?”

Oh. My. God!

We’ve come to own all that over the years — that some people simply can’t wrap their heads around this activity that we think of as holistic, healthy, and body positive in a culture that constantly tells you that you don’t measure up. Naturism has been a hugely positive influence on us in our own personal quest for body acceptance and self-esteem.

So who are we then to condemn those who have found personal fulfillment in yet another cultural aberration that encourages non-marital, sexual activity with multiple partners?

Or stated another way, shouldn’t we take a page out of our own playbook and simply mind our own damn business?

The Dichotomy of Cultural Norms: The Judgmental and the Judged

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you know that I’m a university professor in the arts and humanities, and thus, you probably would be less than surprised to learn that when it comes to deviation from societal norms, I’ve pretty much seen it all by now.

The nomenclature related to the LGBTQ+ community, accommodations for those in gender transition, the accompanying modification of pronouns, and the pervasive casual attitudes that most college students have about sexual activity in 2022 can be mind-boggling. I grew up on the heels of the Summer of Love, but at the very least, back then we were supposed to feign a sense of modesty when referring to our sexual escapades. That’s hardly the norm today.

So what does that say about the current playbook for sexual interactions in 2022? Besides those who are deeply devoted to chastity as a sign of godliness — a significant minority where I live, I might suggest — then why should I give a damn whether people at the naturist place (or anywhere else, for that matter) want to have sex with multiple partners?

Truthfully… I really don’t!

At all.

Except for one tiny wrinkle…

The Case for Non-Sexual Nudity

Those who have been advocating for the right to be naked on the beach, or for breastfeeding in public, for for a woman’s right to go topless, or to promote non-sexual family nudity in public spaces such as water parks and city green spaces have fought tirelessly to get the general public to believe one simple concept.

NUDITY IS NOT INHERENTLY SEXUAL!

And, in fact, it’s not.

Nudity can be sexual, but is rarely more so than swimwear, lingerie, or the strips of fabric I see college kids wearing on a Saturday night.

Clothing can also be sexual, and there’s an entire fashion industry out there to reinforce how important their product lines are to making oneself feel alluring and attractive.

Ironically, at the end of the day, it all comes back around to my previous statement. “What if you do you, you let me be me, and we all simply mind our own damn business?!?”

As a side note, I mentioned previously that we’ve met many swingers over the years as we’ve traveled the globe. Only once have we found ourselves in a compromising situation where we misread the cues and somehow communicated to another couple that we were eager to come out and play. (Which we most certainly were not.)

In every other instance, even if someone has approached us, they have been polite, respectful, and have adhered one-hundred-percent to the swingers’ golden rule. “No means, no!”

Ask any college kid or twenty-something how that scenario plays out at a local nightclub or frat party, where apparently, “no” is a code word for “try harder!”

Turns out that the swinger community has much higher moral and ethical standards than most any nightclub in America.

Huh!!

I’ll be interested to read the responses to this piece and see if it gets similar traction on somebody else’s Twitter or Reddit feed. I have a lot more to say on this topic, but I think you probably get the gist.

Will I keep on the fight to protect the sanctity of established naturist places despite my personal feelings about live and let live? You bet I will, as I don’t want my favorite naturist place to be shuttered in the wake of some ultra-righteous campaign to stop the naked sinners in their tracks.

Maybe that sounds hypocritical, but at the end of the day, I simply want a place to soak up Vitamin D, and non-sexual social nudity in itself already seems like a nearly insurmountable cause. I would simply wish that those seeking that in a sexually charged environment own up to that as well, and pursue such pleasures in places where that is in the stated code of etiquette.

When did getting naked become so damn complicated? And really… why does anybody care?

Author’s note: We had a long conversation with friends a while ago about the correlation between swinging and polyamory — how the two are distinctly different and where they overlap. Our discussion was inconclusive. But for the purpose of this article, I’m going to stick to my script.

I don’t care who you have sex with, when, or how. It’s really none of my business. Just don’t scramble all of those issues in with the simple desire for social nudity and nude recreation.

That is all.

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