Summary

Professional athletes, including Lionel Messi, Tom Brady, and LeBron James, express their preference for playing in empty stadiums without the distraction and annoyance of fans.

Abstract

The article presents a counterintuitive perspective on the absence of fans in sports stadiums due to the pandemic, suggesting that many athletes prefer it this way. Lionel Messi, renowned as one of the greatest soccer players, appreciates the quiet of an empty Camp Nou, finding fan noise distracting. Similarly, Tom Brady, a prominent quarterback in American football, dismisses the concept of the "12th man," comparing fan noise to that of apes at the zoo and expressing relief at not having to perform in front of spectators. Basketball star LeBron James also downplays the role of fans in home field advantage, attributing it instead to the reduced travel fatigue for the home team. Retired baseball legend Kirby Puckett reveals his disdain for fan behavior and admits his public persona of fan affection was largely an act. The article concludes that athletes are not overly concerned about the lack of an audience in stadiums.

Opinions

Lionel Messi prefers playing in an empty stadium, finding fans' noises annoying and distracting.
Tom Brady openly expresses his dislike for fans, equating their noise to that of zoo animals and questioning the significance of the "12th man."
LeBron James suggests that home field advantage is more about less travel for the home team rather than fan support, and finds fan behavior sometimes intimidating.
Kirby Puckett admits to feigning affection for fans and is glad about the possibility of playing without their presence, considering their behaviors irrational.

We Don’t Miss Them, To Be Honest

Pro athletes on playing their sports in empty stadiums without fans

He is considered the greatest soccer player ever. Lionel Messi is the star of Barcelona’s legendary La Liga team, and he doesn’t mind playing in an empty Camp Nou stadium.

“I actually prefer it,” he says. “The fans are annoying and stupid. Without their horrible noises we can actually hear each other on the pitch.”

Here in the United States, the famous 12th man in American football — the screaming crowd — surely will be missed by pro footballers, won’t it?

“Oh God no,” admitted Tampa Bay’s new quarterback, Tom Brady. “I hate the fans. Especially up there in Boston. What a bunch of idiots. The 12th man is a myth.”

The 12th man in American Football refers to the fans, of course, as there are eleven players on the field trying to win, and with the hooting and hollering of the 12th man, especially when the opposing quarterback is trying to call signals, the 12th man supposedly gives the home team a great edge.

“These fans will often create loud sounds or chant in hopes of encouraging their team; noises are made by shouting, whistling, stomping and various other techniques.” (Wikipedia)

Mr. Brady is not convinced.

“Yeah, that sounds like a bunch of apes at the zoo, doesn’t it?” he said. “I suppose we could play our games at the zoo, now that the pandemic has hit. That would stink, literally, wouldn’t it? But to be honest, I’d rather play in front of a bunch of stinking apes than a hundred thousand mentally defective Bostonians.”

Really? So you’re actually glad that there might be no fans in the stadium this fall.

“Absolutely,” said Tom. “Without the fans, we can just get on with it, get the game over with and go to the bank to cash our enormous paychecks.”

But what about home field advantage?

It is true, the statistics seem to show that home teams do win more often than visiting teams, which must indicate that the fans have something to do with their success.

“No,” explained basketball player LeBron James. “It’s just that we are less tired than the other team because we didn’t have to fly all the way to fucking Phoenix to play hoops. The fans have nothing to do with it. Sometimes we look out there in the stands and we see that stupid expression on the spectator’s faces, and it’s kind of scary. Like they’re all in a weird trance. Like they’ve gone insane. Mobs are scary, man. They look like a bunch of Germans at a parade in like 1939 in Berlin. You try and make a three pointer with a bunch of crazed cultists staring at you like that. Shit ain’t easy, lemme tellya.”

Fuck the fans? Really?

“Absolutely,” said beloved baseball legend Kirby Puckett, who retired in 1991. “If only we had had a pandemic back then, I would have really preferred playing without all the fans screaming and yelling. Singing that ridiculous song during the seventh inning stretch — I hate that fucking song. And you hit a foul ball into the stands and these morons fight each other for it like it was some sort of treasure. You know what, morons, you can buy a baseball on Amazon for like two bucks. Get over it!”

But what about that famous mile-wide grin that you gave to the fans, and that good natured and gracious attitude that made you so beloved?

“That was fake,” Kirby admitted. “I hated the fans then and I hate them now. Fuck the fans!”

So there you have it, ladies and gents. Don’t feel too bad for those poor pro athletes having to play their sports in front of empty stands.

They’re gonna be just fine.