We Can Disagree Without Disrespecting One Another

Disagreement doesn’t automatically equate to ‘jealousy’ — despite what strangers on the internet might claim.

As soon as my online piece about how I went from super-fan to ex-fan of Rachel Hollis really started taking off, I knew these comments would flood in.

And flood in they did.

“You’re just jealous of everything she’s accomplished in her life, when yours is pathetic and meaningless.”

“You’re just bashing her because you can’t stand that she’s a successful woman.”

“You don’t hate her, you wish you WERE her but you’re not. Get over it.”

I’m sure you’re not surprised to hear, dear reader, that I have some thoughts about this.

Because my favourite past-time is taking problematic ideas spread on the internet and opening up a wider dialogue to dissect why they’re harmful!

So, let’s dive in!

Take your outdated narrative of women tearing down other women and throw it in the trash.

It holds no weight here.

It doesn’t apply.

I am a successful woman in my own right, and I am probably the least competitive person you will ever meet in your life.

There is zero competition between Rachel Hollis and me — I couldn’t give a rat’s ass, to be frank.

I love to see women succeed and thrive.

I’m so passionate about it, in fact, that helped to build an online community with two other incredible women to provide a safe and empowering space for women to share their truths and lives with one another.

We are empowered by the success of others, not threatened by it.

Don’t pretend plagiarism is ‘no big deal’.

“She never intentionally plagiarised anyone’s work, so it doesn’t count. People read so much on the internet, this kind of thing happens all the time. It’s not a big deal.”

I’d love to see how your professor would take that argument if you submitted a plagiarized essay in university… not sure that comment would stand. In fact, you would get expelled for that sh*t.

Why?

Because plagiarism is THAT damn serious.

If you are aware that creative work belongs to someone else, and you use it regardless without crediting the creator, then your intentions are not good.

They’re not pure.

You’re stealing. That is a crime. And for Rachel Hollis to steal exact sentences and paragraphs from other famous motivational speakers in her industry, and not only fail to credit them but also claim them as her own?

That’s not innocent — that’s f*cked up. And utterly unacceptable.

So take your demeaning talk about how I’m a ‘jealous troll’ and really consider what it takes to fall into that category.

There’s no reason to feel jealous when you’re fulfilled in your life and secure in yourself.

I really, really like being me.

And I know a lot of women who feel the exact same way.

We do not want to be someone else, including Rachel Hollis. We don’t want to have her life, or be the mother of her four kids.

We don’t want to tell people about a glamourized story of how our husbands used to treat us like total crap when we dated, but our love for him was so strong that it ‘fixed him’.

Success is a subjective term, and it changes in definition from person to person.

To the above-mentioned influencer, success is jumping on planes multiple times a week, posting on social media several times a day with millions of likes and comments, having millions of dollars and speaking with the likes of Tony Robbins on his tours.

For many of us, none of that is appealing. It’s all a matter of taste and choice.

My definition of success is valuing my freedom and flexibility over all else (which one cannot do if they want to be a millionaire — I truly am not willing to work hard enough in my career to make that a reality for myself), making enough income to be comfortable but also be able to travel once or twice a year, and being able to raise a family quietly and happily while respecting others and the Earth… yeah, that’s my humble yet dream life.

Being a public figure in the limelight? That’s a nightmare to me — anyone else feel the same?

Final word.

We can disagree, without getting disrespectful with one another.

Having differing opinions doesn’t automatically make one person right, while the other is wrong.

We are all operating and existing in diverse, colourful and different realities. And each one of our realities are valid.

I’m allowed to be disappointed by a celebrity’s character being in some ways far different from what she was communicating to me, as a fan.

You’re allowed to still read her work, attend her conferences, and be inspired by the words she says (regardless of who created them).

It’s possible to exist in these two realities without being mean, cruel or abusive to one another with our words.

That’s what’s called being a mature, thoughtful and considerate adult living in a world that is far, far bigger than the limited scope we each have in our own lives.

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