Summary

The author suggests that the type of people we attract into our lives is influenced by the merit and value we provide to them, which includes our character traits, nurturing attitude, and mutual benefits.

Abstract

The article discusses the dynamics of human interactions and the types of people we attract based on our personal merits and the value we offer. The author reflects on their experiences with diverse individuals, from outgoing personalities to more reserved ones, and emphasizes that there is no set pattern to the kinds of people we connect with. Instead, it depends on situational contexts and the mutual usefulness in the relationship. The author identifies several key traits that foster attraction, including a sense of humor, a calm demeanor, a willingness to help and teach, empathy, and shared backgrounds. These traits contribute to creating positive feelings, providing support, and establishing familiarity, which in turn can draw people towards us. The article concludes by reinforcing the idea that the science of attracting people lies in the value and benefits exchanged between individuals.

Opinions

The author believes that a sense of humor and the ability to share joyful moments are important in attracting fun, sweet, and cheerful people.
A calm and high-spirited nature that allows others to express their emotions is seen as a trait that attracts people, especially when one is not in a party mood.
Offering help and teaching others can nurture relationships and expand one's social circle.
Empathy, particularly during tough times, is a significant factor in bringing people closer and fostering strong connections.
Shared experiences or familiar backgrounds can quickly create a sense of comfort and ease among strangers, leading to pleasant interactions.
The author asserts that mutual benefits play a crucial role in who we attract and who is attracted to us.
The article conveys the belief that life's changes, including shifts in beliefs and lifestyle, can influence the types of people we attract over time.

We Attract People on The Amount of Merit We Provide to Them

Prompt~What kind of people do you attract?

Photo by Sangga Rima Roman Selia on Unsplash

Human interactions are a major part of our existence. Whether it’s a workplace or a casual gathering, It’s true that we are always on the lookout for people to connect with. I used to think I attract the same kind of peeps wherever I go but realized much later that there is no set pattern.

I have been around all kinds of individuals. If one day I am enjoying the company of an outgoing person, then it might be an entirely opposite person I am sharing my cup of coffee with, the next day.

It is not easy to categorize people whom we attract. Since it can not be quantified, hence it mostly depends on the situation we are in and how useful we are to each other.

Let’s go into the nitty-gritty of things to see if I am making sense.

What I said above is my personal experience.

I am a member of this Facebook food group where we decided to meet each other over lunch to interact. We clicked right away and not only exchanged numbers but also involved our families too. It was a fun group to be with all sorts of food discussions, sharing recipes, and planning picnics, etc.

Then, I have this friend growing up who is kind of reserved in nature. She is very emotional yet intelligent. She couldn't go along well with the rest of the friends because of her private nature but we are best buddies. She thinks I listen to her problems without judging her. She is not the kind who is ever ready to party or comfortable in large circles of friends as she is homely around me.

I have a huge list of friends and acquaintances both online and offline. If I want to put my fingers on what exactly acts as the charm glue to keep us drawn to each other, it’s not possible. Here is the list of few character traits that stood out for me and have a strong role in attracting the lot I love to be around.

#1 The positively pink ones:

Who doesn’t want to be around fun, sweet, and cheerful types? For me a sense of humor is important, life would be boring otherwise. I love light-hearted jokes and have people in life who share the same wavelength.

I invest my time in such people with whom I can experience more positive feelings together. It gives me a new jolt of energy and makes moments colorful.

I learned that when we are joyful, we not only attract others but are also accepted and loved by everyone.

#2 The calming shades:

I am not in a party mood every day. But I have to still interact with the people right?

I am a very calm and high-spirited person. I allow others the space to exhibit their emotions. This has also ignited attraction.

I don’t like to indulge in excessive praises or judgments thrown at others but offer compliments and validations.

#3 Beneficient ones:

To establish the appeal, one must have a nurturing attitude. If I know something that can be beneficial to others, I try to extend my help.

In the university, I used to teach this one concept to my fellows over and over. It not only helped me solidify my basics but also made my circle of friends grow.

They wanted to learn and this pulled me outside my comfort zone. I am forever grateful for this opportunity they provided to me.

#4 Empathetic ones:

One such merit which brings people closer is the empathy shown in times of adversity. Every one of us at some point in life hit the wall. It is when we are looking for a shoulder to lean on.

When I lost my mother last year, the number of people who showed care and helped me get out of one of the difficult phases of my life is beyond amazing.

#5 Familiar ones:

Has this ever happened to you that you are among strangers and all of a sudden you spot familiarity?

I was invited to this play date and since I was new in town, I didn’t know the ladies very well. I was very anxious in the beginning. As soon as I started talking to a lady and found out that she was raised in the same neighborhood as I am, the comfort kicks in and made my time pleasant.

This is one of the major reasons for drawing people in.

Parting Thoughts:

The above examples are not fit in all. There may be more or fewer kinds of people you attract depending on what you like and how the crowd around you is.

But I whole-heartedly believe in this; The science of attracting people is in how much value we offer to others. We attract or get attracted to people based on the mutual benefits.

Life isn’t the same for me either. I have also gone through the ups and downs. The changes in beliefs and lifestyle have certainly impacted the kind of people attracted to me.