We All Want More Money, But We Can’t Say We Want More Money.
Especially if you are a woman.
I am new to the game of (work) life. Actually, I never wanted to play this game, but if you are going to get what you want, you need to play the game, it’s impossible to escape, even more, if you don’t have much power because it’s by playing the game that you get the power. The game involves many unspoken rules, so you need to understand them without someone telling you about them. It took me a long time to understand that, and I am still learning about the “game”.
Recently, I had a phone call, and after the phone call, my partner came to talk to me to give me “feedback”. I didn’t know he was listening to the call in the first place, but as it was a call related to work and he is a recruiter, I guess it’s hard for him to avoid ears dropping. He told me I mentioned money three times during the call, and that was a bit too much. First, I got defensive: Well, I want money, and I want to make it clear that I won’t accept anything less than what I want. Men do that all the time. He said: No, they don’t, you got to play the game.
Then, after a bit of self-reflection, I realised he was right; not playing the game made me lose my “dream job” in the past. At the time, I didn’t have anyone to guide me and give me advice; I was clueless. I am not sure if it’s my issue or a woman issue, but I still need “male guidance” to navigate this world. Especially the work one.
In this phone call, I noticed the change in the other person when I mentioned money for the third time. The person was annoyed. Maybe I was a bit much, but I am just tired of people advertising one thing and then offering you another because now I am indeed chasing the money. (Well, even for a woman to say chasing the money is wrong because it shows desperation, so I better say I am attracting the money. I don’t chase; I attract.)
It’s also hard to find the balance between when you need to follow the rules and when you need to start creating your own rules because otherwise, you aren’t going anywhere. It’s a very dynamic and unfair reality, just like life.
It’s also funny because most of us just work because of money, but we can’t admit that. Someone sold us a lie that we need to work for satisfaction, but the reality in the capitalist world, we work for money, and some people are lucky enough to find fulfillment, meaning, purpose while making money. But most of us aren’t.
There is another story being told over and over again: that when you go for the money, most of the time, you don’t find happiness. Many people that went for high paying jobs felt miserable after. You can read these stories everywhere on the internet. And this is a story I used to believe, no, Tamires, don’t go for the money, it won’t make you happy; actually, you will be even more miserable. But the truth is that I don’t know, nobody knows how they will feel when they accept a new job, even if it’s their dream job. It’s a gamble; you go and hope for the best.
If I ever want to be a homeowner, I need to go for the money. And I am not ashamed to admit this because it’s all about money at the end of the day. So yes, I want more money, but I am not stupid. I just don’t want more money; I want to make more money with a job that still allows me a good work/life balance. A job that will enable me to make the most profit while aligned with my wellbeing and goals. I guess something I have learned (and I didn’t need a man for this, my own mistakes have taught me).
