We All Have the Same Superpower

“Our ability to respond rather than react allows us to dictate our future.” Andy Stanley

If you could have any superpower, what would it be? When I was a child, I couldn’t decide between flying and being invisible. I imagined soaring over my town straight up into the clouds, but I also dreamed of being invisible and spying on people.

Maybe you’re more altruistic than me, and your superpower would be finding a cure for cancer or feeding every starving person on earth. I used to watch Superman movies and consider how great it would be if somebody had the power to thwart evil and ensure justice.

One friend said their superpower would be time travel, so they could go back and change history. After half a year of sheltering in place, some of us might travel back to January 1 and try to do something to avert our current disaster. But we know times rolls on, we can’t change the past, and the closest we can get to flying is hang gliding, parachuting, or riding an airplane.

Yet what would you say if I told you we all have one superpower, we can use it whenever we want, it can change the outcome of any situation, and it can redirect the course of our life?

Best-selling author and pastor Andy Stanley says we do have that kind of superpower. “Your superpower, my superpower is our ability to respond, our respond-ability, our ability to choose a response rather than simply react to circumstances.”

According to Stanley, this superpower enables us to do a lot of things. It empowers us to turn wrong things into right things. It empowers us to thwart the evil intent of people who wish us evil. It even has the power to reverse the course of our life. “If you engage your superpower, you will be better for it, and you will be better in every single major arena of life.”

“How would someone respond if they were absolutely sure God was with them?” Andy Stanley

I was reminded of Stanley’s words the other day on a zoom conference when the discussion was about responding rather than reacting. The group leader asked, “Have you ever had a time when you reacted to something out of emotion, then later regretted it?”

I can think of a lot of times, but one time jumps out more than the others. Years ago, my husband was laid off from his job and his former manager called to tell him there was a non-compete clause. He couldn’t accept a job offer with a competitor or the company might sue him. Listening to my husband’s measured responses and watching his grave expression, I angrily jerked the phone from his hand and told his former manager if we ever heard from him again, we would hire a lawyer and sue. My husband was appalled, although he laughs about it now.

I’ve done a lot of other impulsive things, responding from emotion rather than thoughtfulness. When we first got married, I would storm out the door and roar off in the car if we had an argument. I didn’t know where I was going, so I always returned sooner or later to face up to the reason for our argument.

We overreact when we don’t try to understand another person’s point of view, when we magnify things in our minds, when we take things too personally, or when we make everything all about us.

There is a response that makes situations worse, and there is a response that begins to reverse the course of events. Stanley says, “To simply react sets us up to reflect those circumstances. The response that has the potential to reverse events isn’t natural. We’re least likely to choose that response.”

In other words, it’s natural to give in and react, but if we want to change things for the better, we might have to act in an unnatural way.

We see overreaction everywhere these days; the driver who goes into a rage because somebody is driving too slowly; the person who has a meltdown over somebody’s careless remark.

We see it more and more on a national scale. A frenzy of overreaction is sweeping our country, making it hard to debate reasonably without demonizing anybody with a different opinion. We refuse to consider that somebody who doesn’t think like we do might have some valid ideas. Instead, we believe they are evil.

Overreaction leads to anger, irrationality, selfishness, destruction and broken relationships. It doesn’t lead to bridge building, compassion, kindness, thoughtfulness or personal growth.

We react out of emotions stemming from those thoughts and feelings that have been swirling close to the surface, ready to erupt. “Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.” (Luke 6:45). In other words, those things we harbor in our hearts will eventually come out in our words and actions. There is no hiding them for long.

The things we dwell on, the stuff we put into our minds, the people we surround ourselves with influence us. We become what we think about and immerse ourselves in. Yet when we continue to react from our emotions, we continue to feel powerless. Everything overwhelms us and nothing seems to change.

Stanley said, “Never underestimate the power of a measured response.” But how do we cultivate a measured response? How do we go against nature and ingrained habits?

First, we need to control what we put into our minds. We have to be ready when unexpected events assail us and our emotions are taxed, to respond in a manner that paves the way for solutions. The attributes we cultivate will eventually become part of our nature, and the attitudes we cultivate will ultimately be revealed, no matter how much we try to hide them.

My speech and thoughts in private should be what they are in public.

To transform the outward life, we need to transform the inner and private life, surrounding ourselves with what we want to become. We read books and watch movies that inspire and uplift and elevate the human spirit. We surround ourselves with friends who bring out the best in us and focus on conversations that build up instead of tearing down.

A Native American proverb tells the story of the continuous battle being waged within each one of us:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me,” he said to the boy. “It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil — he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good — he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you — and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

We all have the same superpower, and we can use it to transform our lives, but we have to feed and nurture that part of our nature. I won’t ever be able to fly or board a time machine and change the past, but I can change the future by responding instead of reacting. We all can. That’s our superpower.