We all have our off days, when we look in the mirror and aren’t so pleased with what we see, the days when we feel slightly more apologetic for ourselves than feels right. But when it happens every day, when you never look in the mirror and feel good, when you always feel like you are a burden or a disappointment, then low self-esteem or low confidence is the reason.

It is a problem far more common than any one of us realizes. And it becomes far more likely when you have something which causes a regular onslaught of difficult negative emotions about the body or appearance. Examples include chronic illness, poor mental health, and challenging life situations.

According to Orth and Robins (2022), a voluminous body of research suggests that high self-esteem supports individuals to thrive in many areas of life, including relationships, performing better at school and work, and experiencing improved mental and physical health.

Over the last two decades, several views have supported the belief that excessive self-esteem makes a person narcissistic and selfish. Orth and Robins debunked this theory, and the University of California concurred, stating that self-esteem refers to self-respect and acceptance. In contrast, feelings of superiority, self-centeredness, entitlement, and grandiosity characterize narcissism.

Having established that high self-esteem is a good thing and brings benefits across the entire spectrum of our lives, it’s time to think about proactive steps to increase it.

With that in mind, here are ten great tips for rediscovering how incredible you are:

1. First, list people who love or value you and spend time with them. It doesn’t have to be a long list — even a single name will work. Spending time with people who can see us as beautiful, courageous, or valuable helps us see ourselves that way too. And the more time you spend with them, the more their view of us starts to rub off.
2. You listen for the inner monologue, like the voice that accuses you of clumsiness when you bang your toe into a table leg. Please pay attention to that voice; don’t let it pull you down. If you make a mistake and the voice calls you stupid or useless, know you are not.
3. Be assertive, and don’t give in. Often people with low self-esteem will try hard to please others — stop. Instead, work on finding your value and only do what feels right and is appreciated.
4. Do something you are good at, and enjoy. Do it often. You will be surprised how much this can boost your confidence!
5. Make a list of your good points — which can be mental and physical. For example, it is just as valid to have kind eyes as it is to be approachable. Don’t miss anything, and don’t be embarrassed to write precisely what you feel — no one needs to see your list except you.
6. Relax! Spend some time relaxing and allow your mind to rest. Clearing your mind for a few minutes each day will create a sense of peace, declutter your mind, help you think more clearly, and boost your memory.
7. Make good choices when looking after yourself — eat healthily, don’t drink or use recreational drugs to boost confidence, and exercise. The better your body feels, the better your mind feels.
8. Do something you have been putting off. You’ll feel a strong sense of achievement and be motivated to do more — a positive cycle!
9. Self-esteem is something we associate with the mind, but it can be affected by the phyiscal too. Remember a time when you wore something or styled your hair in a way that made you feel unstoppable? Harness that feeling again. Even the slightest change can significantly affect how good you feel about yourself.
10. Smile. Seriously. It works.

And there you have it….ten ways to work on your self-esteem. Of course, you don’t need to embrace every one of them, but the more steps like these you can take, the better you will begin to feel. And remember, everyone deserves to feel good about themselves and comfortable in their skin.

References

Orth, U. R., & Robins, R. W. (2022). Is high self-esteem beneficial? Revisiting a classic question. American Psychologist, 77(1), 5–17. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000922

Research Review Shows Self-Esteem Has Long-Term Benefits. (2022, October 11). UC Davis. https://www.ucdavis.edu/curiosity/news/research-review-shows-self-esteem-has-long-term-benefits#:~:text=Their%20findings%20show%20that%20people,adulthood%20and%20into%20old%20age.