Watching ‘Imposters’ Makes Me Want to Be a Pickpocket

The Netflix show has me considering a new career

Honestly, if I were ever a pickpocket’s victim, I would be furious. So would the pickpocket after finding that I keep useless stuff in my wallet.

The act of picking someone’s pockets has always been interesting to me. Though it is wrong and illegal, it’s also brave and clever. It requires skills and swiftness, which is intriguing.

The other part of the equation is a victim. I don’t think many people leave their wallets in their back pockets anymore. If you do, you shouldn’t because it’s bad for your back!

And pickpockets know to look there for your wallet. That’s two reasons now. But where else would men keep their wallets? Now would be a good time to advertise a satchel for men to carry their belongings.

I’m pretty sure a pickpocket could find his or her way into a satchel just as well, but at least you’ll look cool!

The show that evoked the thief in me was ‘Imposters’

It is a binge-worthy show, for sure. A woman cons people into marrying her and then she skedaddles with all their money. The execution of her cons always goes so smoothly, according to plan. I’m sure that’s how it’s done in real life as well.

Along the way, some of the characters have to get some money together, and their method is to run mini-cons. Some small-time jobs like retail theft get them by, but then they step it up.

They learn how to pickpocket. And it looks so fun!

That’s why I know I can do it, too.

They could call me ‘The Helpful Pickpocket’

I would operate with a code of ethics. In the show, there were rules on who they would scam. The people had to be jerks, and no old people, and some other standards.

With my victims, they wouldn’t really be victims at all. See, I would maybe pick their pockets just to show them how easily it could be done. A PSA(Public Service Announcement) of sorts, warning them of the dangerous world of criminals. So scary. Then they would be so thankful, that they would reward me with cash.

“Oh no, I couldn’t accept that.”

“But I insist! It’s the least I could do.”

“Well, ok.” And off I go to ‘help’ another person. Cha-ching.

If that gets boring, I could turn it into a magic show. Pickpockets could be magic. Magicians could easily transition over to crime if they wanted. Look at all the similarities:

• They both make things disappear
• Both professions use distractions
• They both need to be quick

That’s all I can think of, but you get the idea.

The world isn’t ready yet

Right now, people are skittish which makes it harder for pickpocket training. The ideal environment would be a crowded street, every person walking, talking, shopping. Right now is not the best time for all that.

Another excuse I have is that I don’t go anywhere. I don’t have the desire to deal with people most of the time so I stick to myself at home. The only way to practice my new hobby would be to get my chickens to help out.

That sounds more fun, actually.

I will start small, really small, with conning my chickens. This will be difficult as they do not carry wallets or wear clothes, for that matter. Also, they are already suspicious of me, so I have a lot of work to do.

Here’s some background information on the chicken ladies.

Until then, I will let the Magicians and Pickpockets do their thing, and I will ooh and aah over their work.

‘Imposters’ season 3 will be on Netflix any day now, which is good because I miss my character friends.

Do you ever binge-watch a show and start to miss the characters? Or wonder what they are up to? There’s got to be a name for that. Let me know your thoughts on the TV show. And especially if you are a pickpocket.

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