Was the Buddha Too Hung up on Suffering?
Suffering is just one of the Four Noble Truths

One of my closest and most deeply spiritual friends rejected Buddhism as a young adult. She didn’t like what she perceived to be an over-focus on suffering.
A young mother living in the beautiful countryside, she thought, “I’m not suffering. Buddhism doesn’t relate to me.”
Likewise, the same sentiment was echoed by a young woman who wrote a recent piece about her love for the ambiance of Buddhism and some of its tenets. But she couldn’t agree with “accepting suffering.”
Was the Buddha too hung up on suffering? Or are we attached, consciously or unconsciously, to pleasure-driven forms of spirituality that ironically keep us locked into a never-ending cycle of suffering?
Life is a mix of joy and suffering and every other emotional tone you could list in multiple columns on a very long piece of paper.
In his youth, the Buddha lived in a palace and experienced every worldly pleasure possible. But when he went beyond the walls of the palace he encountered suffering for the first time. He witnessed illness, old age, and death.
It gave him pause. He wondered whether there was a way to end suffering. Thus his years-long spiritual quest began, a search for an answer to this particular question.
He didn’t just say, “Life sucks,” and then permanently return to the palace and attempt to hide from the reality of suffering.
In his first teaching, the Buddha declared, “The truth (or reality) of suffering which is to be understood.” This is known as the First Noble Truth.
But that was the starting point of his philosophy and solution, not the whole lump sum. He also described the origin of suffering, the cessation of suffering, and the path to the cessation of suffering.
Perhaps, if the Buddha had consulted a marketing expert, he would have called his system “The Ultimate Guide to True Happiness.”
Can anyone disagree with the the First Noble Truth—suffering exists?
Have you ever met anyone who has never suffered? The Buddha didn’t discount the joys of life. He only explained how joy can be fundamentally entwined with suffering.
- Every birth ends in death
- Every new car gets old
- Every piece of clothing wears out
None of that causes suffering itself. It would just be life as it is if it weren’t for attachment.
For example, we feel disappointed when a new dress gets stained. We might brood over it for several days. We might disparage ourselves for clumsiness.
It’s our attachment to wanting things to be a certain way—no stain, in this case—that causes the vast majority of our suffering. This is the Second Noble Truth, the origin of suffering which is to be abandoned.
Attachment is considered the core cause of suffering. But Buddhists add karma and painful emotions to the mix.
Painful emotions include:
- Attachment (craving)
- Aggression (hatred)
- Ignorance (indifference or our inability to see reality as it is)
- Jealousy
- Pride
They may make us feel good momentarily (or not), but mostly they make us suffer.
Karma, explained simply, refers to the momentum we build up through the repetition of positive or negative thoughts, words, or actions.
The key to inner peace exists within our minds not in externals. It requires us to abandon the causes of suffering: the creation of negative karma and the engagement in destructive emotions.
The Buddha said it’s possible to put an end to suffering. This Third Noble Truth is called the truth of cessation which is to be actualized.
According to the Buddhist scholar Alexander Berzin, cessation is referred to as “nirvana” in Buddhism. In general, nirvana means liberation from suffering and its causes. That includes unsatisfactory forms of happiness that leave us wanting more.
Cessation is accomplished through the truth of the path, which is to be followed. This is the Fourth Noble Truth and refers to the Noble Eightfold Path taught by the Buddha.
As you can see, suffering isn’t the main point of Buddha’s teaching. The main point is nirvana for one and for all.
I understand if Buddhism doesn’t resonate with you. We’re all called to different spiritual paths.
But I find it difficult to understand why anyone cannot accept the truth of suffering. To me, suffering is such an obvious fact of life.
Perhaps we all tend to resist suffering to some degree, me too.
For example, I sometimes want meditation to bring me serenity rather than accept whatever it serves up. I cling subtly to the belief that meditation will result in perfect peace.
The controversial Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa called the tendency to attach to temporary states of mind “spiritual materialism.” Whether we achieve euphoria through meditation or drugs, we typically feel deflated when the state dissolves. Thus, the cycle of suffering continues.
Do you have trouble with the Buddha’s focus on suffering? Why might that be so? Might you unconsciously be attached to a feel-good form of spirituality that will only lead to disappointment in the end?
Or maybe you have another reason. I would love to hear.
My friend now laughs at her early rejection of Buddhism. She’s experienced more than enough pain since her days as a hippie love child growing her own food and caring for her brood.
She’s no longer averse to the notion that suffering exists. And she appreciates the way Buddhism presents a complete path to spiritual awakening with immense precision.
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