Warning! They’re Going To Use You

Summary

The article outlines three psychological tactics manipulators use to identify and exploit vulnerable individuals.

Abstract

The article delves into the subtle psychological strategies employed by individuals with manipulative intentions to select their targets. It emphasizes that these manipulators often look for signs of vulnerability by showing excessive interest in a person's relationships, analyzing self-perception through speech, and testing personal boundaries. The piece suggests that understanding these tactics can help individuals recognize and avoid being exploited. It underscores the importance of self-awareness, assertiveness, and the ability to communicate personal needs as protective factors against manipulation.

Opinions

Abusers and manipulators are adept at identifying individuals who are easy to isolate and influence, often targeting those with complicated familial relations and a strong desire for positive relationships.
Self-talk is indicative of self-perception, and manipulators are keen to pick up on insecurities or a lack of self-knowledge to exploit these vulnerabilities.
Manipulators engage in boundary-pushing behaviors to assess an individual's ability to assert themselves, recognizing that those who struggle to communicate their needs are more susceptible to exploitation.
The article implies that awareness of these manipulative tactics can empower individuals to resist being taken advantage of by recognizing the signs before it's too late.
It is suggested that secure individuals with strong personalities and close relationships are less likely to be manipulated, highlighting the protective nature of social support and self-confidence.

Three subtle ways in which people pick who they will take advantage of.

We never understand the games people play until it is too late, and we are left wondering how could this happen to us. I have always wondered how people choose who they want to use. I picked my psychology professor’s brains to find out, and no! It is not because of your vibe; they test you in these three ways before they decide if they can use you —

They are overly keen on your relationships There is no doubt that abusers, manipulators, predators and in general, anyone who wants to use people will look for the most vulnerable one. They find they are easy and gullible enough to fall prey to their tactics. To establish whether you are gullible, they will enquire a lot about your previous romantic relationships, friendships and familial relationships. By doing so, it helps them understand whether you are easy to isolate or whether they can influence and sway you. For example, someone who is socially isolated with complicated familial relations and craves positive relationships is much easier to take advantage of than someone who is well-adapted with a strong personality and close relationships with people in their life.

How you talk about yourself Words are an extension of our thoughts. How we talk about ourselves is also how we view ourselves. People mark you when you are unsure or insecure. They understand your goals, whether you know yourself and how empathetic you are. What users do is look out for your insecurities and find ways to fill them; they wiggle their way into your life with their ulterior motives in mind. How you talk about yourself is the easiest way for them to find out if you are easy to use.

Subtle games to push your boundaries Users know your buttons, and they try to push them. Secure people are confident enough to assert their boundaries when someone triggers them. Vulnerable people lack the script to communicate their needs and ask the user to stop. They may find it hard to express their needs when someone is disrespecting them subtly. These games could include but are not limited to putting you down, ignoring you when you express your needs and gaslighting.

We are always wiser in hindsight, and while that is typical, knowing some ways in which someone tests you and understands whether or not you’re vulnerable enough to use can prevent you from falling for their traps.