Relationships/Infidelity
Want Your Married Lover To Leave Their Spouse For You? Here’s How To Tell If They Will
— Or won’t.
The majority of people don’t enter into extra-marital affairs with any kind of long-term plan or intention to commit to another person. An affair by definition is the complete opposite of what commitment to another person means.
If you’re a person involved in an affair with someone who is married and you are under the impression that they may leave their spouse for you, I have some advice that may help you to see things more clearly.
Affairs can sometimes carry on for years and one or both of the people involved in the affair can fall in love and get intensely attached to the person they’re having the affair with.
In situations where an affair feels like ‘more than just an affair’ and there’s a belief that perhaps this relationship could become real, things can get painfully convoluted.
When married people who are involved in an affair start talking about love or even mentioning plans for the future, it’s difficult to know where their true intentions lie — especially because that person is married to someone else.
There are clear signals a married person will display whilst they are in an affair with someone who may want more from them that reveals their true intentions. Keep reading.
They’re Secretive About Their Whereabouts
In a healthy, functioning relationship between two people, it’s relatively normal to know most of the comings and goings of a partner — or at least be somewhat aware of their daily schedule.
If you’re involved in an affair with someone who is married, you may see your lover for a tryst, and then they’re gone — out the door — and possibly never heard from again until the next liaison.
Although you may know what your married lover does for a living, where they work, or even where they live in some cases, there may be plenty of details about their lives that you simply don’t know — or that they intentionally keep from you.
If your lover hides their phone from you, takes calls in private and away from you, or won’t give up much information regarding their day-to-day activities when they’re not with you, it’s probably because they don’t want you to know that information.
Quite frankly, this kind of non-communication and lack of engagement from a lover about their life beyond the affair is not a sign they’re going to leave their spouse anytime soon. So please don’t count on it.
They’re Afraid of Getting Caught
Anyone who’s involved in an affair has an obvious fear of getting caught, right?
But why?
The obvious reason is the spouse, of course. The spouse will most likely get angry or even threaten to leave the marriage. If kids are involved — that’s an even worse scenario and could potentially lead to a nasty custody battle should a divorce happen.
If you are a married person having an affair with someone whom you actually want to be committed to and plan on leaving your spouse for, you probably won’t be worried about getting caught.
Sure, you may not want to deal with the consequences of getting caught in an affair such as the pain and strife it will likely cause to your family and friends — not to mention your reputation at work or otherwise. However, you’d ultimately be okay with being caught if you were truly done with your marriage and ready to commit to your affair partner. Just saying.
They’re Not Taking You To Public Places
This is a no-brainer to most people, however, with the taboo nature of an affair, one can often forget that always having to meet in a bedroom, in a car, in a parking lot, or inside a place hidden away from other people isn’t exactly normal relationship behavior.
If an affair lasts for a good amount of time, not meeting in public places simply becomes the norm.
Although some people who have affairs live in larger places where they might be able to go out to the movies or a store together without being seen by anyone they know, if a person lives in a smaller town or city it’s likely too risky to go out together in public.
If a married person never takes their affair partner out in public, I’d pretty much guarantee that they don’t want to be seen with that person because then they’d potentially get caught — and if they don’t want to be caught then….. YES, we just went over that.
Although some participate in affairs with married people who are quite content to never progress the relationship out into the real world and continue to enjoy meeting secretly, others have gotten themselves into affairs and subsequently fallen in love. They want their affair partner for themselves. They want a life with them.
Unfortunately, people are messy. So are affairs. Whether both people engaged in the affair are married or just one of them is, matters of the heart are a tricky business and someone always gets hurt.
The harsh light of the reality that lives outside the rapture of an illicit affair can be difficult to reconcile. If you are carrying the belief that your married lover will eventually leave their spouse for you, think about all of these points and take them into serious consideration.
I speak from experience.
