Want More Confidence? Earn It.

Often, our inability to present ourselves confidently at work can be a stumbling block to our career progression.

I facilitate workshops as part of my day job and my participants tell me, ‘you really know your subject-matter well’ or ‘it was a really good workshop, you’ve got great voice projection’, or ‘you’re able to answer our questions really well and engage with us’.

I’m also a leadership development facilitator, master of ceremony for work events and generally known as the person who always has something to say in meetings.

But it wasn’t always like that for me.

In fact, one of my previous bosses once told me I was ‘too quiet’ in my appraisal. And that had prevented me from progressing in my career early on.

Truth was, I didn’t speak up because I lacked confidence.

Confidence can be dissected further into earned confidence and perceived confidence.

I first heard about these terms from Jason Khalipa during his interview with Jordan Harbinger, ‘Going From Zero to Hero’.

What Earned Confidence Looks Like…

I still remember the very first presentation I ever made for work in my first job out of college.

It tanked.

I was to make a big presentation to the senior leaders at my company.

My new boss wanted all the presenters to go through a dry run before the big meeting.

Throughout my presentation, she couldn’t stop shaking her head in disapproval.

I thought I’d put in the work to prepare for the rehearsal.

Apparently not enough.

Needless to say, my boss’ feedback was brutally honest.

My presentation lacked substance and my voice lacked conviction.

…And How To Get It

I knew I’d have to correct her negative impression of me if I’m going to go anywhere in my career.

To do that, I polished up my slides and content, scripted out my entire presentation, practised my delivery until I got it timed perfectly, sought feedback from my peers and rehearsed again on my own.

The day of the big meeting came.

This time, I nailed it.

From then on, I learned I had to put in the hard work if I wanted to be able to speak confidently.

Most of the time, I’d end up talking about only 20% of what I’d prepared. But I wouldn’t be able to talk about the 20% confidently if I had not put in the other 80% of work.

Perceived Confidence, On The Other Hand, Looks Like This…

Perceived confidence happens when the person is ‘faking it’, appearing to know more than they actually do.

I know we all have things we don’t know in our jobs and yes, sometimes we do have to fake it.

That’s fine if it’s only some of the time.

But it’s different when you’re way out of your depth.

When that happens, you feel uncertain most of the time and you depend on your team or others for guidance to get your job done.

This is all well and good if you’re starting out in your career or in a new job.

But when you’re assuming a more senior position, there are some basics that everyone expects you to have.

You need to understand the nature of your business, the industry and at least have some experience in delivering results.

I’d fallen into the trap of perceived confidence early in my career when I got my first managerial job because I knew someone who was in a position to give me that job.

I realized quickly I was not ready for that job because I lacked the knowledge of how the function worked. On top of that, I had to lead a team.

How To Correct Perceived Confidence

While some may argue that I should have stuck with it, I decided to humble myself and admit I wasn’t the right person for the job.

What the company needed was an experienced manager who could lead the team and drive the turnaround.

I was not equipped to handle the job, much less to do well in it because I didn’t have solid and proven experience leading such a mission.

Eventually, I decided to leave the job, take a pay cut and get a non-managerial role.

I felt it was important for me to lay a firm foundation, learn from the ground up before moving into a managerial role and lead a team.

I got my hands dirty, put in the work to excel in my role and got promoted twice within 4 years.

The other danger of getting ahead of ourselves and moving into jobs way out of our depth is we fall into the trap of the lifestyle that comes with it.

We end up pursuing jobs that are able to sustain an elevated lifestyle and expectations.

It becomes a vicious cycle of maintaining ‘perceived confidence’.

Either that or we let it get into our heads that we’re more capable than we actually are.

I’ve seen a number of such cases, which is why I think it pays to take some time and earn your confidence.

The rewards are more sustainable and bigger in the long run.

Earned confidence applies to business owners too.

As someone who got way too deep in a business I didn’t understand, I’ve now come to value taking small, daily actions to build up expertise and confidence.

Conclusion

My confidence has been a result of over 20 years of hard work, making lots of mistakes and a willingness to learn from those mistakes.

When we’ve mastered our skills and use it to help others get results, confidence naturally grows.

Put in the effort and daily actions to get really good at what you do if you want more confidence.

Then share your experience and use your knowledge to help others get better themselves.

Not only will your confidence grow, but people’s respect for you will too.

What have you done to earn your confidence? Share in the comments below!

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Originally published at www.twopointzero.me on January 8, 2019.