Want More Clarity and Confidence?
Side-Effects From a Quick exercise
Your self-image and how you actually treat other people are at the core of your identity and who you are. These factors largely dictate on a subconscious level how we direct our life.
The life you’re living right now is partly a reflection of these things.
The relationship we have with ourselves dictates the types of choices we make in life. People with higher confidence and a healthier self-image are more likely to believe they can achieve lofty or ambitious goals and make career choices based on just that — their belief in themselves or ability to do it.
Or at least attempt.
People who don’t view themselves as worthy or have less belief in their ability to grow or learn, for example — often work the same dead-end job for years without believing they could perhaps find something more purposeful and fulfilling to them.
Maybe they’re the ones that didn’t even attempt to chase something more meaningful.
Most of us don’t plan on waking up one day depressed, unhappy with our work — and discontent with how far we’ve come in life.
So, what gives?
And what separates the people who actually have the confidence and clarity to live out their dreams and achieve their goals versus the ones that only make it halfway?
Getting Clear
One of the reasons is a lack of congruency in our life.
Yup, that’s right. Congruency.
If you’re anything like me, you may not have seen that word in a while. Or maybe you’ve never seen it at all.
Let’s revisit the meaning and then discuss its relevance to finding clarity in your own life.
Having a congruent life would mean we:
“living in consistent alignment with whom we think we are, how we want others to perceive us, and who we want to become.”
— Brendon Burchard, The Charge
So pretty much when misalignment occurs, we know that something is off in our life. And without being conscious about who you are, how you encounter others, and who you’d like to become — you may fall prey to living a life that could have been so much more.
It’s pretty standard for authors in the self-help industry to add journal prompts at the end of each chapter.
Do I normally do them?
Absolutely not.
Where I read and where I write are in two different locations.
But I’m also lazy, and when I’m reading, I want to enjoy a good read — not scramble out of bed to find my journal or boot up my computer just because the author “told me I had to” before continuing to the next section.
This time, however, Brendon got my ass for the better.
His little “No cheating!” part had its way with me and imparted a deep sense of guilt within if I dared to continue without his permission.
As a fellow future motivator, I didn’t want to let him down.
And I’m sure glad that I didn’t. Because now I get to share with you the same tactics he shared with me in his book.
In all seriousness, I am a big fan of Brendon, and all of his work resonates with me deeply. Sometimes it feels like he writes thoughts that I’ve had before.
The Exercise
Most of us tend to view ourselves through the frame of our own memory and experiences. At times this makes it more difficult for us to objectively view ourselves to carve out a better, more clear path as we advance after all that life has thrown at us.
If taken seriously, this simple exercise aims to solidify who you really are again so you can continue moving forward in your journey with more confidence and vigor.
Either save this article and come back to it later as I would or take a moment to go find your journal:
- The words I would love to define the way I think of myself in my personal life are…
- Of all these words, the 3 that I’m going to make my standard and my mantra in how I think of myself is…
- I chose each of these 3 words because…
Boom — a simple journal prompt.
Life changed.
Just kidding.
But in all seriousness, I was surprised by the value I received in doing it.
It’s easy to think of generic descriptors of yourself on the spot, but when you take the time to write them out and visualize them, you may be surprised at what comes to the surface.
Let’s explore some of what I wrote when I did this and how it helped create more congruency in my life.
It took me about 15 minutes, but you could spend as long as you like.
My Results
- I wrote down — “Confident, bold, courageous, faithful, inspiring, loving, caring, strong leader, determined.”
Cool, all good things.
I knew I could only choose three, though.
I still wanted to jot down several that came to mind to see how they felt and reflect on which ones I felt most drawn to or that I most deeply identified with.
For those interested in what I chose, I’ll sum what I wrote, raw and uncut:
- Bold— to me, I feel like being bold embodies someone who carries positive energy and listens and acts upon their tuition — which is me most of the time. They also carry a particular assertiveness required to face evil blankly or correct others' behaviors when necessary. That takes boldness because most people are afraid of doing that because of fear of confrontation. I am afraid of confrontation at times. And it’s something I’m working on getting better at. Speaking my mind when I want to or when it’s necessary.
- Faithful — through Christ, I have received my purpose, so I’m convinced that others can as well if they devote and dedicate their lives to him and develop a deep and personal relationship with him. So no matter where I go or what I do, I will always advocate the following and fellowship of Jesus.
- Inspiring — I want to be someone who lifts others. Who brings positive energy to the room, or at least allows God's energy to flow through me unto others. Because of me, I want people to know that Jesus is alive. Which is a good personal revelation, do not get me wrong. But there are people out there doing that already, which is good because it allows you to identify and analyze what is being done in that space already.
And there’s that.
If you appreciate my example (or public declaration) feel free to clap for this article.
Because most might not.
Closing
This is pushing a 7-minute read already, so I won’t bore you with all the other details. As you can imagine — doing this activity was good for my mental clarity to solidify further who I am, regardless of how grounded I may have been before.
And you could easily do the same.
Once the activity is completed and you’ve chosen your three descriptors — consciously remind yourself of them as you go through your day taking action on things and encountering others.
I already knew I was a man of faith.
But writing that quality out for myself and visualizing it as a concrete pillar in my life was powerful.
It gave me further clarification, which naturally makes me more confident moving forward in whatever I do.
I surely appreciate you making it to the very end here.
I hope you apply the strategies and allow them to enlighten you to yourself and all that God intended for you.
Thanks for reading.
I’ll see ya soon.
