Walking on Eggshells

Free AI web copilot to create summaries, insights and extended knowledge, download it at here

1116

Abstract

making men feel more comfortable forever and is that (partially) not what has gotten us in this position in the first place? Just like with racism, we need to feel the discomfort of being in the wrong, the healthy shame, the embarrassment of being held accountable for our actions. We have all been responsible for women not being included, not being seen, not being equally paid, not being seen/treated as equal in general.And so he walks on eggshells. He does what he can to not be a part of the cultural sexism and misogyny; to be a part of the solution. We each share in our partnership, we both do our agreed upon tasks, he listens to my joys and frustrations, I listen to his, we sit on the front porch with a drink. My anger sits between us though. I wonder if there is a little wedge like this in many relationships (no matter how healthy the relationship is). Hopefully, the lines of communication can remain open and we can continue to talk without criticizing each other, without becoming too defensive. It is really about the cultural lessons we have been taught and how to unlearn them.

Options

It is very difficult to unlearn things so ingrained. It is also difficult not to be angry at an entire gender.Another example… I was having our taxes done the other day (by myself). When completed, our tax person said, “sign on the second line”. I asked, “Why on the second line?” He explains, “Where it says ‘Spouses Signature’”. I say, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He looks at me and slinks in his chair and says, “That is just how it’s done. We can do the whole thing over if you want; change it around, but we would have to start over.” I sign, shake my head and leave. Now I’m a part of enabling this fucked up system once again. It really does feel hopeless sometimes. But the fight must continue.But in this case of abortion, unless men are willing to stop having sex with women (vasectomies are not 100% reliable either gentlemen), men get no voice in what women do with their bodies or pregnencies unless women say you have a voice. Once you make the choice to deposit that sperm, it belongs to her and her alone! That is simply the end of the story.</article></body>

Walking on Eggshells

What must it be like to be my husband in these days? I feel a titch bad for him. I got a text from my sister June 24, 2022 telling me that Roe v. Wade was overturned by the Supreme Court. I came downstairs, told him the news, and flipped on the TV to hear what was happening. My heart sank and the steam started coming out of my ears. “Fucking men!! What gives them the right to regulate my healthcare?” He says something like, “I know, but I guess I really don’t know.” This, on top of all the misogyny built up over the recent years and the general cultural sexism.

I fume. I spend the rest of the day angry and scared about what this means for women, what this means for LGBTQ+ people, for same-sex marriage, for healthcare in general. My husband appears to not know what to do with himself. I want to make him feel better and yet I do not want to make him feel better. We have been making men feel more comfortable forever and is that (partially) not what has gotten us in this position in the first place? Just like with racism, we need to feel the discomfort of being in the wrong, the healthy shame, the embarrassment of being held accountable for our actions. We have all been responsible for women not being included, not being seen, not being equally paid, not being seen/treated as equal in general.

And so he walks on eggshells. He does what he can to not be a part of the cultural sexism and misogyny; to be a part of the solution. We each share in our partnership, we both do our agreed upon tasks, he listens to my joys and frustrations, I listen to his, we sit on the front porch with a drink. My anger sits between us though. I wonder if there is a little wedge like this in many relationships (no matter how healthy the relationship is). Hopefully, the lines of communication can remain open and we can continue to talk without criticizing each other, without becoming too defensive. It is really about the cultural lessons we have been taught and how to unlearn them. It is very difficult to unlearn things so ingrained. It is also difficult not to be angry at an entire gender.

Another example… I was having our taxes done the other day (by myself). When completed, our tax person said, “sign on the second line”. I asked, “Why on the second line?” He explains, “Where it says ‘Spouses Signature’”. I say, “Are you fucking kidding me?” He looks at me and slinks in his chair and says, “That is just how it’s done. We can do the whole thing over if you want; change it around, but we would have to start over.” I sign, shake my head and leave. Now I’m a part of enabling this fucked up system once again. It really does feel hopeless sometimes. But the fight must continue.

But in this case of abortion, unless men are willing to stop having sex with women (vasectomies are not 100% reliable either gentlemen), men get no voice in what women do with their bodies or pregnencies unless women say you have a voice. Once you make the choice to deposit that sperm, it belongs to her and her alone! That is simply the end of the story.