Waiting for What Arrived

Summary

The text describes a personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance through the act of meditative waiting, leading to a realization of self-love and healing from past abandonment.

Abstract

The author of the text embarks on a meditative practice characterized by stillness, breathing, and waiting, which initially seems simple but proves to be profoundly transformative. Through this practice, the author experiences a moment of clarity, recognizing the voice that asserts "this is for me" as a pivotal turning point. This realization illuminates a lifelong pattern of neglecting self-love in the pursuit of external validation and love. The author acknowledges the futility of seeking love from others without first loving oneself, understanding that this approach had left them with an insatiable longing. The journey involves reconnecting with the inner child, named Grace, and embracing her with the love and presence that had been absent, leading to cathartic tears and, ultimately, a profound joy that emerges from the interplay of joy and sorrow.

Opinions

The author believes that self-love is the foundation of true love and that without it, one cannot fully recognize or appreciate love when it comes.
There is an opinion that personal fulfillment cannot be achieved through the approval of others, but rather through internal validation and acceptance.
The text suggests that emotional healing is possible at any stage in life, and that revisiting and nurturing the neglected parts of oneself can lead to a sense of wholeness.
The author conveys that joy and sorrow are interconnected, and that experiencing one enhances the understanding and appreciation of the other.

And how it changed things.

I was given a meditative assignment To be still, to breathe and to wait, Simple one might think.

Each day I lit a candle, lay still and inhaled Then exhaled, feeling the breath Enter and leave.

And everything slowed until a voice Which I recognized as mine Said, “this is for me”.

In that moment something opened, “This is for me”, became a new point of clarity.

I had raced through life in the pursuit Of serving all but me, in the hope I might be loved.

In failing to first practice, “this is for me” I had failed the first premise of love And found love not.

I merely fed a never satisfied appetite To be loved by someone and thus Be rendered whole.

How could I recognize love when it arrived If I had never known it and had grown comfortable With abandonment.

It is never too late to go back and find The happiest of childhoods, the joy of Being loved.

I called the abandoned child by name, I called her Grace. She came to me, into my lap and I said I am here at last.

And we both wept till that was done Finding in the release of it all An eventual joy.

For joy and sorrow have always held hands And one without the other would not possibly Recognize itself.