Wait…Thanos invested in Theranos?

Summary

The article humorously explores a fictional scenario where Thanos, after a failed presidential campaign, becomes an investor in Theranos, drawn in by Elizabeth Holmes' deep voice and her vision for medical innovation, despite her conviction for fraud.

Abstract

In a whimsical twist of the multiverse, the supervillain Thanos, following a catastrophic attempt to democratically lead the Chitauri, turns his attention to Earth's Theranos, a company notorious for its fraudulent blood-testing technology. The article narrates an imagined encounter where Elizabeth Holmes, the company's founder, convinces Thanos to invest in her venture, appealing to his fascination with power and control over life and death. Thanos, intrigued by Holmes' deep voice and her narrative of medical revolution, decides to support Theranos, even taking advice on his public persona. The satirical piece also references other stories within the DC/Dear Cister multiverse, inviting readers to explore additional tales that challenge norms and expectations.

Opinions

The author portrays Thanos as being intrigued by Elizabeth Holmes' deep voice, suggesting a humorous parallel between their public personas.
The article implies that Thanos sees potential in the power to control life and death through Theranos' technology, aligning with his own goals.
Elizabeth Holmes is depicted as a persuasive figure, even in the face of a supervillain like Thanos, highlighting the allure of her vision for medical innovation.
The narrative pokes fun at Thanos' failed political aspirations, juxtaposing his quest for power with the real-world scandal of Theranos.
The piece satirizes the cultural impact of The Dropout, a show about Elizabeth Holmes, by integrating it into the Marvel multiverse.
The author suggests that Thanos' investment in Theranos could be seen as a form of torture experiment, echoing Holmes' own controversial views on medical testing.
By linking to other articles with trans characters in the DC/Dear Cister multiverse, the author seems to advocate for diversity and representation in storytelling.
The article concludes with a promotional note, encouraging readers to follow the author and support their work on platforms like Medium and Patreon.

Thanks to the multiverse, Elizabeth Holmes finds an unexpected investor

After a disastrous presidential run to lead the Chitari by democratic vote — “Never again,” the Mad Titan vows — he digs out his dusty plans to gather together each infinity stone for the snap that will end all snaps.

It’s going to be a lot of work. I mean a LOT. And he was hoping to watch the new episode of THE DROPOUT. Goddamn this show is fun. And did you catch the feminist bent that brings us into the lived experience of Elizabeth Holmes and all the complexities that come with being a deeply flawed human now convicted of criminal fraud — ?

But then a portal opens and Elizabeth Holmes herself walks through.

The medical industry required correction

SEE ALSO: WAIT…THANOS IS RUNNING FOR PRESIDENT?

At first, he just wants to hear how she makes her voice quite so deep. He could learn a thing or two. But then she keeps talking.

I really believe that if we were from another planet, and we sat down to put our heads together on torture experiments, the concept of sticking a needle into someone and sucking their blood out would probably qualify as a pretty good one. — Elizabeth Holmes

He hears her out. And it’s a powerful story. One bolstered by personal anecdotes about the power to control whether we lose someone too soon.

He plays along. Invests in her company. Even takes her advice on a few things — his voice of course, but also his mannerisms, his fashion. The Mad Titan needs to look the part.