Dating Apps: Voyeurism In The Twenty-First Century

Fool me once, shame on you, fool me a lot, and I’m still gonna be hopeful you’re really into me and not just pulling on my peter.

I have a difficult confession to make. I have finally come to the realization that I may not be as attractive as I thought I was. I know, ladies. Hard to believe. Right about now you probably want to take my dad-bod in your arms and comfort me with a little canoodling. I appreciate that, I really do.

It turns out the massive amount of responses I thought I would get on the three “dating” apps I joined didn’t manifest. Well, not if you don’t count the bots and the fake profiles. Otherwise, I am a big hit.

I mean, really, I match all the criteria women are looking for: kind, funny, sexy, funny, financially stable, humorous, likes wine-tasting (no, I don’t but I’ll fake it), likes world travel (again, no I don’t, but they don’t have to know that right away), likes cats (no, I don’t, but who cares), into yoga(no, just, no. . .unless it’s naked yoga), and more.

Fakers and Prestidigitation

I first knew the responses and invites I was getting were fake when I started getting “likes” from the Ukraine. My first “Hookup Site” (HS)hit was a woman who asked me to look at her private profile on “The Cheating Site” (hereinafter called TCS)because she “didn’t want to mislead” me. I told her, “Sorry. Homie don’t play that.” I would have had to pay to access her profile.

After her revelation, which was probably the only truthful message I received (he said, hope waning in his ever-depressing life), I decided to check out TCS because I had heard so much about it. I did some quick research on The Google and read some interesting articles about it. Most of them said it was a scam site. Many articles talked about the hack of that site that occurred many years ago where massive amounts of subscriber data was stolen and dumped in public. This, apparently, is how they discovered only small percentage of the female subscribers were real.

Going in with eyes wide open and desperate to believe I wasn’t so pitiful that I couldn’t get a date on a cheater’s site, I enrolled. Since I have money to burn from all of the successful $1.38 months I’ve had on Medium lately, I didn’t flinch when it asked me for a couple of hundred dollars. All in the name of research, I quietly and desperately told myself. . .and tax deductible, I hope.

So I did it.

The Cheater’s Site

Men can sign up for free if they only want to browse. But why pay for the milk when you can get the pig for free? Or something like that.

But the model behind this site is that there are more desperate men then there are desperate women. True dat, right? And men are more willing to pay to meet that Victoria’s Secret model that messages them with ideas of ferocious sex because, “while I love my husband and don’t want to leave him, I need some excitement in my life. So, I picked you, an old, fat, balding guy desperate to spend money to chat with me until you figure out I am a manifestation of the website’s marketing team.”

By the way, that wasn’t me. I didn’t unknowingly fall for that line more than a few times.

While men can sign up for free to browse, women can sign up for free for the whole kit and caboodle. The idea, again, is there are waaaaay more men than women on this site who want that sex stuff. And men are more willing to pay to find that sex stuff.

Before the ink was even dry on my credit card form, I received “interested”- automatic messages from several Asian women who wanted me to “message” them so they could send me the secret code to their “private photos” and maybe do “oral sex and even 69 if you like, so you can make me scream.”

Now, keep in mind, for men to send the initial “original” message, they will have to pay credits, which they bought when they signed up. If the woman “original” messages them, the man’s response is free. NO WOMAN “original” messaged me. These were all templated messages, so the man’s response became the “original” message, which depletes his credit reserves.

Update: Today I got what I think is an original message. I haven’t responded, yet. Should I? Her grammar is atrocious! You tell me:

hey (Profile name deleted by me) ,,,im looking for a man who kiss my neck, Bite me, Pull my hair, Trace my spine, Hold me down, Use his tongue, Make me moan and Don’t stop ’til I’m Shaking!!!If your that man just contact me right away ( XXXXXXXXXXX VIA gee male )or snap me ( XXXXXXXX ) and just say “myKING” so I know youre from here.

In addition, when the man messages the “woman,” the site discreetly sends it as a “high priority” message, which costs additional credits. If you aren’t familiar with the site, or aren’t paying attention, your “credits” diminish rapidly.

If you send the “response” or additional messages low priority, it is free.

TCS Profile

In my TCS profile, my first line told the “women” who are interested in me to please send me an original message after I showed interest so I could believe they were not a “bot” or an employee of the site trying to get me to burn through my credits. My first “interest” to them was an emoji-type message, which was free. I also usually asked them for access to their private photos, if they had them, or to unblur their photo, which was also free.

My efforts didn’t really work.

Apparently, there is a templated “non-original” message “women” can send that still costs a man his credits (and dignity) when he responds.

Okay, I’m tired of all the “quotation” marks. No more. By now you know what I am talking about.

So, for research purposes I decided it was worth the cost and have been chatting at my expense for the first message, then low prioritizing the rest of my messages so they’re free.

Example of a “Bot” Message

I really don’t know if these are bots, or even what a bot is. For all I know, all of these messages are coming from “factories” that are paid to make these female profiles, then correspond with the men who respond to them to burn through their credits (yes, they really exist). But here is a screen shot of one conversation I had recently with a “woman” who chose me:

This is the entirety of the conversation. My responses are on the right, in blue. Notice “she” sent the first message, top left. That is the standard templated message that entices you to send a “paid” message to them.

My first message was a free “prod” to them to send me the access to their hidden photos. Surprisingly, she gave me access without asking for a personal message first, which is not common. In fact, the first four messages, hers and mine total, are templated messages.

In addition, if you look at her fourth message, it is actually an “original” message that allowed me to respond for free. We conversed briefly, with her last message on the left asking, basically, for my phone number so we could “text in the phone.”(Emphasis mine). How many English speakers say it that way? Not too many, in my experience.

Also, why do they want my number? I am assuming they can run a reverse directory on it for very cheap, find my personal info, and either use it to steal my identity, blackmail me(wouldn’t have worked), or sold my number to marketers(big whoop-like I don’t get enough of them calling already).

As you can see from my last two messages on the right, I explain to her that this chat isn’t costing me anything, and how leery I am of scammers. I was trying to get her to give me some more information, preferably personal, so that I could ascertain just how legit this twenty-five year-old blonde beauty was. Not that it is impossible that she was in to me, but, seriously?

Almost immediately, she stopped responding and cut off access to her profile. She blocked me. SHE blocked ME! How rude.

I not only could no longer see her pictures, but I couldn’t even send her a message thanking her for getting my hopes, and other things, up with her photos and interest.

Profile of the Woman

Many of the pictures of the women on this site are blurred. You can choose that option, ostensibly to protect your identity because you are trying to cheat on your spouse or significant other. If you wanted to see the “real” them, you had to either request to be sent a key to unlock the private photos, or you had to have one sent to you without a request.

Every time I requested a key on a paid message, I received access to the private photos. When I requested a key on an unpaid message, I was met with silence.

The private photos of the Asian girls were all pretty similar. Big, Anime-type eyes, photoshopped small mouths, lots of cleavage. Many of those women represented they were from nearby, but when you look closely at the photos, it is clear they were taken out of country.

I had one very attractive “Anime” woman ask me for my phone number. She was very insistent, and accused me of not being sincere. When I hesitated further, she accused me of not wanting to “do oral sex and make her scream, then do 69, yes?”

I responded on my free message and requested a picture of her vagina before I could agree to make her scream. I was, surprisingly enough, met with silence.

Voyeurism

All told, I am still playing around with the site, manipulating my profile message, sending more and more blunt or ridiculous messages, and still getting interest from the bull-shitters.

However, there is a fascinating aspect to all of this. Viewing those profiles that appear to be real women, aka not perfect, and reading their profiles, is like secretly eavesdropping on someone’s intimate fantasies.

One particularly unattractive women (yes, they exist) had some very specific demands. “Must be at least 6 inches long, although length is not as important as width. Must be very wide to please me. Oh, and please stop sending me dick pics. When I want to see your dick, I’ll ask.” Apparently there are men out there who like to send strange, unappealing women pictures of the penises. Who knew?

And, apparently, even unattractive (from my perspective) women get more attention than the average guy (me).

Perusing the site exposed several similar profiles. They appeared genuine because of the requests and the average picture quality.

In one profile of a very attractive woman, she said for men not to even bother her unless they gifted her with a, um, let’s just call it a “sacrifice” of several credits, which translates into dollars for the woman.

Summary of TCS

Bottom line is this: once they couldn’t get any credits out of me, messages from the bots or marketing reps who initially showed interest in me stopped, even when I tried to show a high level of interest back. I just wanted to see how long it would continue and what they would ask for.

However, I still get those initial bot “interest” messages every day, trying to get me to initiate a message with them. Since I still have some credits left, and since I want to end my research into this site, I am responding with more ridiculous messages, hoping to have some fun during my pandemic alone-ness.

Take-Away

This is easy.

First, don’t do it. Not unless you are real bored and want to have some fun, and are willing to pay for it. And when I say “fun” and pay for “it,” I don’t mean sex. I mean playing online with the bull-shitters. Remember, this costs you money.

Second, don’t give out any personal information, like your phone number or real name. No need to.

Third, don’t put any risque pictures or nudes up. They can access them and use them against you, or publish them somewhere else as there own.

Fourth, even if you believe your connection is real, which is almost impossible to ascertain, it is very difficult to arrange a meeting. And if you do, you still won’t know what or who will be waiting for you at your meeting spot.

Bottom line: I’m doing it for fun and don’t expect to ever meet a real woman on this site. And even if one did appear to be real, I won’t meet with them. There are just too many scammers on this type of site.

So that’s my take. If anything new happens, I’ll let you know. In the meantime, stand by for a follow up article on dating app two of three and three of three. I’ll give you the low-down on the get-down on both of those sites in future articles.

Oops, gotta go. Just got another notification that someone wants me to peek at their private photos and message them.

I wonder how much money I have left on my account?

Charles H. Roast. Call me. 💑💋📞